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Trust me, women are every bit az lazy as men. It's just socially acceptable for a woman to never lift a finger and sit at home all day pretending to do things. Why? I have no idea. All people should have to contribute to society, or be viewed as a pariah- men and women.
You can bet I'd never marry a woman who wants me to pay for all her needs and stay at home. How does this sound appealing to anyone?
"Stay at home" doesn't mean "never lifts a finger" necessarily (though I do know one or two women like this). Personally, I'd LOVE to have a house husband. One of my friends is now able to devote herself fully to a job she loves (and that pays mad money) because her husband decided to become a full-time stay-at-home spouse. They don't even have kids, but she basically has no major household responsibilities. He takes care of everything, and when both of them are done with their responsibilities he's off to the boxing gym or yoga and she's off to her soccer league. They're one of the happiest couples I know.
Especially since I bought a house and got a raise, I'd love for someone to take over the maintenance issues and all the administrative stuff. I just lost 2 hours of work due to water in the basement - had to go out and buy an air mover, bust out the shop vac and then I'll be monitoring that fan for the rest of the day, shifting it and keeping tabs on what's still damp. And a leak in the ceiling last week is still causing me all kinds of headaches. It's not so much the cost as it is the time it takes to hire people and frustration that I don't have time and expertise to make simple repairs myself.
Thank god I work from home.
My career is taking off and my paycheck is now at the point where it can comfortably support two people who opt for a simple lifestyle. But my job is a minimum of 50 hours a week, and can go up to 60 or 70 during busy times (which are frequent). When I'm not working, I want most to be out of the house or spending time with my dogs or exercising. I don't mind laundry and cooking, but the rest of of it all is a real PITA.
The company I work for LOVES me - I could really develop my career if there was someone in my life who could take on all the administrative/life management tasks that are dragging me down. That's how our executives have built their careers - they all married intelligent, educated women who are less housewives than partners. They all know the inner workings of how our company is run and frequently advise their husbands, but they handle all the household and administrative tasks. The executives basically work and concentrate on being involved dads to their kids when they're not working - they have no other responsibilities. It's a winning formula.
I see more and more hard working professional woman who are now just like the men of the bygone era...they work very hard and most are alcoholic...welcome to the world of men...You wanted it you got it.
I see more and more hard working professional woman who are now just like the men of the bygone era...they work very hard and most are alcoholic...welcome to the world of men...You wanted it you got it.
Um, everyone was an alcoholic in the "bygone era" it seems like. It certainly wasn't limited to men. Dissatisfied housewives were quite the tipplers, from what I understand. And the number of rejected former housewives from my private school days who became drunks after the collapses of their marriages was pretty epic. An old schoolmate's mom moved in across the street from my mother - never worked a job a day in her life. Spent most of her time staggering around the neighborhood and racking up DUIs.
Find a real drawback instead of just stating a fact of life: Some people are alcoholics; probably more than you think.
I see more and more hard working professional woman who are now just like the men of the bygone era...they work very hard and most are alcoholic...welcome to the world of men...You wanted it you got it.
See, that's the thing - as much as we'd like to think that society is changing, instead it's just a permutation of people trying to conform to the "traditional" way of life. There's not as much fluidity between gender roles as we'd like, or like to believe. Women who are more inclined to be at home in the workplace are no more "trying to be men" than men whose abilities tend toward the domestic are "effeminate". The thing is, both roles, no matter who plays them, are important to society. I know plenty of men who have taken over the childrearing and housework and refer to themselves as Mr. Mom. Maybe it's because we all remember the movie, but maybe it's because SAHDs don't think that their work in the home is being taken seriously. I don't know.
I see a lot of disillusionment and dissatisfaction - among both men and women - because the grass isn't always greener on the other side, and because people have been thrust into roles not because of choice, but because of necessity. With the exception of one, the guys I know that are SAHDs are doing it because of unemployment. There are women that return to the workforce because of divorce or a spouse's unemployment. Men AND women are going into industries for which they are ill-suited because that's what's available. Maybe what would help is if we valued all types of skillsets, rather than elevating some and denouncing others.
I was thinking about this myself the other day. Glad you made a post about it. Women are expected to be "equal" when it comes to responsibilities regarding work, but we're still paid a lot less than a man. We're still expected to contribute our fair share to financing the household, but left responsible for cooking, cleaning and babies.
And I do think that relationships have become more partnership like in that one is judged on how much they can contribute, rather than the romance factor. It is exhausting when I think about it.
I'm not so sure...
I live and work in the SF Bay Area and the Hospital where I work has women in every management roll with one single department head exception.
Many of these career women have no children and some have stay at home husbands...
I'm just not seeing the unequal part... at least not in this local.
As a woman in the USA I'm grateful to have limitless opportunities. Such opportunities for women and for everyone in general are unprecedented in all of history.
Women fought hard for equal rights, equal pay, equal treatment. I understand why after all through history women had been considered and treated second to men, existing for men's pleasure, raising children and doing domestic work. Throughout history as well there have been some restless, vocal women who insisted on breaking out of those predetermined roles, and insisting that all women should be set free to live their dreams.
Well I do appreciate the hard-earned freedoms women now enjoy.
May I say however that now we women seem to be paying more dearly for what we asked for. Not only are we free to work and live independently and make our own choices, etc...we are now EXPECTED to live independently, work hard in the rat race, hold our own and run with the big dogs. Those wouldn't be such bad things but what comes along with that is that men view women differently now too. Relationships function differently now. With everyone's focus shifted to working and advancement and personal gain just to survive, relationships have become a playground rather than anything serious or meaningful or stable & nourishing.
Life moves too quickly and people are distracted in so many different directions. Humanity is suffering.
And certainly this can't all be pinned on women's lib, but also on industrialization, capitalism, the information era.
Help! I am a slow-paced, sweet, fragile woman and I'm drowning in all this rush & noise & heartlessness.
The fact that you are slow and fragile is not because you are woman. There are slow and fragile men.
Just because you do not like or appreciate the opportunities afford you does not mean that they shouldn't exist. Just because you do not like the high expectations on PEOPLE (regardless of gender) in the workplace does not mean they shouldn't exist.
The reality is that for most people, setting a high bar encourages rather than discourages. You are part of the smaller subset of people that doesn't work for. Ok. But demanding that you get special treatment because you have an innie instead of out tie is a total betrayal of the women's lib movement. You have no more right to get out of the stress of modern life than a man does.
Ugh, I cannot stand when women pretend that because they are a woman they should get special treatment. I am a woman, and you should really just suck it up, find a slow fragile job, and a slow fragile man, and live your slow fragile life without expecting the world to change for you.
That's exactly right and we bought into the scam hook, line and sinker.
SOMEBODY has to raise the kids and do the "domestic work" for goodness sakes. Or don't we care that the most important person on the planet...the ACTUAL fragile baby that we decided to bring into the world....has to be raised by OTHERS or get shafted with part time parents and being dragged to Walmart at night when they should be long asleep.
THAT is the root of the problem. Families have been diminished while women were "told" we can "have it all". Perhaps WE can "have it all" but considering that means you get to work like a maniac while ALSO feeling the extreme responsibility for the FAMILY (relationships, house, kids) while the MEN contribute so generously by puttering in the garage if you're lucky while you do ALL the work....uh, NO.
Somebody forgot to mention to the guys that HAVING IT ALL doesn't mean they still get to pretend they're living at home with Mommy.
And I say this as a corporate parent who ran that race for way too long while my kid was feeling that his caretaker GRANDMOTHER was the closest one to him. Oh well, better HER than a stranger in day care.
Cooking today is watching the Food Network - and if you're lucky you pick up "Thirty Minute Meals" from Rachel Ray. Educating today is putting the baby in front of a computer/TV screen. Family time is shopping for toilet paper. Or the kid sleeping/whining in the shopping cart while the mother just ABSOLUTELY MUST handle every piece of merchandise in TJ Maxx (and buy nothing). Playtime today is on a device not out in the fresh air.
The new acronym in pop culture is THOT. "That ho over there."
You do the math.
Seek out individuals that share your values. They're out there embarrassed to speak up or avoiding the rat race. AND if I had a kid today, I'd be home schooling NOT sending them off to the culture that believe that government and school boards "co-parent". YEP I actually hear people saying that now.
I actually think half the country is seriously depressed from not having a centered healthy family life. Rich OR poor. Not to mention booze and drugs.
BTW I quit the corporate world and became a dog walker/pet sitter. It's fabulous.
Totally agree with what you wrote. Good for you for finding your peace of mind in your career.
I live and work in the SF Bay Area and the Hospital where I work has women in every management roll with one single department head exception.
Many of these career women have no children and some have stay at home husbands...
I'm just not seeing the unequal part... at least not in this local.
Well, in the career paths I've taken, I found regardless of the work load or title, the man doing the same job as me was paid more. I wasn't supposed to find that out, but people brag, etc.
If you're not feeling unequal, then I guess that's a good thing.
Does he make more because he is a male or does he make more because he is a better negotiator? Is he better at office politics? Is he better at his job? While I know this isn't a PC thing to say, in my experience, and in the experience of virtually all of the people I have talked to about the issue (including females), female employees generally have more interpersonal problems with their coworkers than do male employees.
There probably is a small amount of income inequality that can be legitimately blamed on gender bias, but there are too many other variables to simply say that pay differences are solely because of gender.
Well, one can argue that someone was a better negotiator and that's why he's paid more, but in the real world, a lot of bosses at the top are still male and see other males as "providers". They feel providers should be paid more, even though it's illegal, but it's an unspoken belief among them. Interpersonal problems aside, you can negotiate all you want, but if their misogynist head is in the sand, it won't do any good. And people aren't really allowed to discuss salaries, so it's all very hush-hush.
Well, in the career paths I've taken, I found regardless of the work load or title, the man doing the same job as me was paid more. I wasn't supposed to find that out, but people brag, etc.
If you're not feeling unequal, then I guess that's a good thing.
It could very well be industry or region specific.
On the other hand I know a Doctor that let his office manager go for having "Too Many Babies"
He is a foreign born Doctor and I could not believe he acutally said this in the presence of other Docs...
Everyone was willing to go to bat for her and she refused... already had a better job lined up and wanted to move forward.
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