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You say she's "older than you and knows what she's doing".
You've obviously defaulted the work to her if you didn't show initiative with her regardless of her personality.
You both should have divided up inputs and outputs, tasks and interfaces on a timeline, spreadsheet and be having weekly reviews together, then a larger one with management. It's a really basic principle of quality management from way back in the 1980s.
I don't think she knows what she's doing either in terms of managerial common sense but I'm gonna bet she did NOT write a "four-five page letter to the boss about [you]." Don't do that. And you don't have SKIP LEVEL MEETINGS unless you're ready to quit. YES it should be THAT serious. (or unless it's a routinely scheduled one that companies/people sometimes have)
My reaction would have been to pull you into my office and say "WHAT? REALLY?". Then pull you both in and treat you both like children or entry level trainees and assign TASKS, deadlines, processes on documentation, and weekly reviews then not give either one of you merit increases or good appraisals.
But that's just me.
It's understandable that maybe your career goal is not to be a manager or even a team leader or team member but if that's not in line with your personality, it's going to be challenging to find a job that doesn't include working with difficult or more experienced people.
Plenty of companies don't have quality processes in place and it's difficult when you're stuck in one of them without the tools or training to deal with it.
Alternatively you can have her read this thread where you don't have any apparent problem expressing yourself and telling anons to "grow up and grow some"
I totally agree!
When an employee becomes "high maintenance" management will simply get someone who will not make waves. When a manager says the door is open that doesn't mean it is time to whine about coworkers, but the boss, and his boss, need to see project results as the purpose of management is to get things done through people - not baby sit. My work experience with women has been that they tend to see the overall issues and communicate better than men in most cases. Yes, there are a few snakes in the grass out there, but you don't go to work to make friends.
Some remarks have been very unprofessional so I have to wonder whether the OP is bringing this on herself, if so, I can understand why people avoid working with her. If you can't divide up the work and behave as a team, maybe it is time to find another project where you can work alone.
Yeah, writing a 4-5 page letter of complaint to the boss is the very definition of "high maintenance."
And I find it mind boggling that you have not sat down with your project partner face to face to discuss your concerns and come up with a plan to ensure that work is done collaboratively--at the very least so that everything can be checked by 2 sets of eyes and there is no duplication of effort. Insist that you are copied on every email and included in every meeting, and have her agree in some documented way (such as an email trail). Confront her every time she does not comply.
This seems like simple teamwork stuff that people learn in their first year or two of employment.
The level of maturity you show with every post is quite revealing.
I believe the one who needs to grow up is the one who needs to figure out what to do about an issue at work all by themselves without having to post on a public forum.
That's you not me thanks. My parents fought all of my childhood until I moved out at 19 and while I grew up I had no parental guidance whatsoever because they were from another country and worked ALL the time. Without getting to into it, I have to ask others, watch others or read about others in order to help myself get through life so you can sit and judge however you want I don't give a **** at all cause I know I got through life and am a good person mature or not. So go grow something maybe more sense that others don't or didn't have it like you. Thanks for posting your thoughts tho. Bye
You say she's "older than you and knows what she's doing".
You've obviously defaulted the work to her if you didn't show initiative with her regardless of her personality.
You both should have divided up inputs and outputs, tasks and interfaces on a timeline, spreadsheet and be having weekly reviews together, then a larger one with management. It's a really basic principle of quality management from way back in the 1980s.
I don't think she knows what she's doing either in terms of managerial common sense but I'm gonna bet she did NOT write a "four-five page letter to the boss about [you]." Don't do that. And you don't have SKIP LEVEL MEETINGS unless you're ready to quit. YES it should be THAT serious. (or unless it's a routinely scheduled one that companies/people sometimes have)
My reaction would have been to pull you into my office and say "WHAT? REALLY?". Then pull you both in and treat you both like children or entry level trainees and assign TASKS, deadlines, processes on documentation, and weekly reviews then not give either one of you merit increases or good appraisals.
But that's just me.
It's understandable that maybe your career goal is not to be a manager or even a team leader or team member but if that's not in line with your personality, it's going to be challenging to find a job that doesn't include working with difficult or more experienced people.
Plenty of companies don't have quality processes in place and it's difficult when you're stuck in one of them without the tools or training to deal with it.
Alternatively you can have her read this thread where you don't have any apparent problem expressing yourself and telling anons to "grow up and grow some"
You're a manager and you wasted how long typing up this response without reading my OP? I was trying to set up initial meetings to divide the work up, but she continuously made excuses not to meet... it's in the OP.
Also, someone said "grow up and grow some" to me and I responded with my charming words, then another poster responded to my charming words and in response told him to "grow up and grow some" to see what his response was. Just to push his buttons.
Yeah, writing a 4-5 page letter of complaint to the boss is the very definition of "high maintenance."
And I find it mind boggling that you have not sat down with your project partner face to face to discuss your concerns and come up with a plan to ensure that work is done collaboratively--at the very least so that everything can be checked by 2 sets of eyes and there is no duplication of effort. Insist that you are copied on every email and included in every meeting, and have her agree in some documented way (such as an email trail). Confront her every time she does not comply.
This seems like simple teamwork stuff that people learn in their first year or two of employment.
Yes and I know and understand these processes very well and stick by them. Her on the other hand did not receive the same training in the past and I can't tell a woman with 20 years work experience how to do her work. We established duties several months ago and she does not stick to them and does her own thing.
You're a manager and you wasted how long typing up this response without reading my OP? I was trying to set up initial meetings to divide the work up, but she continuously made excuses not to meet... it's in the OP.
Also, someone said "grow up and grow some" to me and I responded with my charming words, then another poster responded to my charming words and in response told him to "grow up and grow some" to see what his response was. Just to push his buttons.
Just an FYI, CSD610 is a woman. Anyway..Sounds like working with other women is not your cup of tea. You sound young, probably an entitled 20-something that thinks she shouldn't have to compromise. If this is a big issue for you, I would suggest getting a different job that does not involve other women, because if this is such a big deal...honey, let me tell you, other women will EAT YOU ALIVE! So, either get a different male-dominated job or put on your big girl bra because you're going to have to find some way to work these kinds of issues out on your own.
That's you not me thanks. My parents fought all of my childhood until I moved out at 19 and while I grew up I had no parental guidance whatsoever because they were from another country and worked ALL the time. Without getting to into it, I have to ask others, watch others or read about others in order to help myself get through life so you can sit and judge however you want I don't give a **** at all cause I know I got through life and am a good person mature or not. So go grow something maybe more sense that others don't or didn't have it like you. Thanks for posting your thoughts tho. Bye
You actually get more entertaining with every post.
Do you really believe that you are the only one who grew up in a less than perfect environment as a child?
Care to compare notes? I bet I could have you curled in a fetal position sobbing in less than 2 minutes.
So, take your "woe is me it is my parents fault I am like this" attitude and try to get sympathy from someone else.
Your issues are your own and you have chosen to make them the focus of your life.
Myself and many others that post here have much more life experience and work experience than you do and that is a fact.
Chronological age in theory brings knowledge, maturity and lessons learned however, if one is convinced they already know all the answers no one can help or guide you because you will argue every word.
There are literally thousands of us out here in the world that never had a "childhood" because we always had "adult responsibilities" and had to mature well beyond our chronological years.
Also, I did ask my husband what exactly I should grow and he laughed and said I love you the way you are physically and everyone knows you can't garden worth a hoot...
PS ~~ I own my own business and started it just so I would not have to deal with females and my business is in a traditionally male dominated workforce. It is great to work with men and not have to deal with immature, high maintenance females.
You actually get more entertaining with every post.
Do you really believe that you are the only one who grew up in a less than perfect environment as a child?
Care to compare notes? I bet I could have you curled in a fetal position sobbing in less than 2 minutes.
So, take your "woe is me it is my parents fault I am like this" attitude and try to get sympathy from someone else.
Your issues are your own and you have chosen to make them the focus of your life.
Myself and many others that post here have much more life experience and work experience than you do and that is a fact.
Chronological age in theory brings knowledge, maturity and lessons learned however, if one is convinced they already know all the answers no one can help or guide you because you will argue every word.
There are literally thousands of us out here in the world that never had a "childhood" because we always had "adult responsibilities" and had to mature well beyond our chronological years.
Also, I did ask my husband what exactly I should grow and he laughed and said I love you the way you are physically and everyone knows you can't garden worth a hoot...
PS ~~ I own my own business and started it just so I would not have to deal with females and my business is in a traditionally male dominated workforce. It is great to work with men and not have to deal with immature, high maintenance females.
lady get a life and stop bullying people on here. i responded to a jerk who told me to grow up when i was seeking some advice. if you can't provide that, than go elsewhere seriously. who needs to grow up?? stop your bullying!
lady get a life and stop bullying people on here. i responded to a jerk who told me to grow up when i was seeking some advice. if you can't provide that, than go elsewhere seriously. who needs to grow up?? stop your bullying!
My goodness, you will just never get it will you?
YOU responded to ME initially.
Myself and others are trying very hard to get you to see every angle in regards to the issues you are having at work that you posted about.
I do hope one day you will get your head out of the sand and see that maybe, just maybe "the other person" is not always the problem.
No one here has bullied you in any way and I believe you are the one who has called others idiots and morons.
So who exactly is doing the bullying?
My goodness, you will just never get it will you?
YOU responded to ME initially.
Myself and others are trying very hard to get you to see every angle in regards to the issues you are having at work that you posted about.
I do hope one day you will get your head out of the sand and see that maybe, just maybe "the other person" is not always the problem.
No one here has bullied you in any way and I believe you are the one who has called others idiots and morons.
So who exactly is doing the bullying?
Mmmhm! Please, take it from us women who have 20+ work experience ahead of you, if this is difficult for you...too bad!
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