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Being out of the workforce for a number of years really doesn't mean a person can never go back to work. They may not be able to waltz back to their old job, but being out of the work force doesn't automatically disqualify a person from ever working again.
Thinking it will not be in most cases a very , very long road back to even a semblance of the past is delusional.
Can they work again-sure, but , no doubt, in a large percentage of cases, it is miles behind where they were when they left.
What? Try a trapped woman. Your thesis works fine in the 50% of marriages that last if she WANTS to be home, what about the other 50%? What about battered women?
We swept that under the rug in the 50s, just as kept women in marriage watched quietly when single breadwinner hubby and his "secretary" had affairs. What choice did she have?
I prefer 2014. I want everyone to have viable options to leave a bad marriage.
Well, I am afraid the problem you're talking about is still not solved; and if it is for some, it was solved with serious side effects for the majority of the female population.
You obviously can't get reliable statistics on how many women were secretly abused in their marriages in the 50's; but it is reasonable to argue the percentage has been exaggerated for political purposes.
I still believe that women trapped in 1950's bad marriages were comparatively fewer than 21st century women trapped in very stressful lifestyles.
If you think that today's average woman can easily opt out of a bad marriage just because she has a personal income, you are wrong.
Most women work in relatively poorly paid jobs. Their lives are still at major risk of sucking after deciding to divorce their husband and live without his income. Many still opt to stay in because their living standards as well as that of their children's would drop dramatically on her income only.
The problem of the minority you are talking about is still not solved, only now you also have women and men with good marriages struggling!
Many of us could not have asked for a kinder, more hard-working and more supportive husband. There are now plenty of husbands who are supportive, kind, hard-working, more feminist than they should have ever bothered to become, who pull their maximum weight at home - and whose only sin is that they do not earn impressive incomes to allow the wife to never worry about the labor market again.
So BOTH must become slaves to ever greedier employers. Now that's what I call a net gain.
Being out of the workforce for a number of years really doesn't mean a person can never go back to work. They may not be able to waltz back to their old job, but being out of the work force doesn't automatically disqualify a person from ever working again.
This was discussed in this thread before and it is very true. Unfortunately also not very likely.
If you think that today's average woman can easily opt out of a bad marriage just because she has a personal income, you are wrong.
Most women work in relatively poorly paid jobs.
.
Its far easier working, and for those who stayed at work consistently w/o family interruptions, women earn virtually what men do (studies put the gap under 7%). The median by gender is skewed by those women not working regularly.
I've seen women though, in the SAHM mode, divorce, and live in terror afterwards, never regaining their own economic footing.
This was discussed in this thread before and it is very true. Unfortunately also not very likely.
What is "not very likely?" Statistics? Aside from myself, I have many mom friends who were home for a few years, and have successfully gone back to work.
As with anything, there are a lot of variables. When I quit, I knew it was temporary. I always planned to go back. I completed some continuing ed units while I was off, and joined a professional organization, and worked in a completely unrelated field a few hours/month, and volunteered. When it was time to go back, my resume wasn't empty. My prior years of experience didn't go away. Once I started looking seriously, it only took 6 months to find a job.
It obviously depends on the field the person is or was in, too. Some don't change much. My skills were still very relevant after 5 years.
Are you all just making assumptions about this based on the economy, or do you have some evidence that it is so unlikely for a SAHM to find a job?
What is "not very likely?" Statistics? Aside from myself, I have many mom friends who were home for a few years, and have successfully gone back to work.
As with anything, there are a lot of variables. When I quit, I knew it was temporary. I always planned to go back. I completed some continuing ed units while I was off, and joined a professional organization, and worked in a completely unrelated field a few hours/month, and volunteered. When it was time to go back, my resume wasn't empty. My prior years of experience didn't go away. Once I started looking seriously, it only took 6 months to find a job.
It obviously depends on the field the person is or was in, too. Some don't change much. My skills were still very relevant after 5 years.
Are you all just making assumptions about this based on the economy, or do you have some evidence that it is so unlikely for a SAHM to find a job?
I stopped posting here, because it's obvious syracusa is bitter over her own lack of job opportunities (and possibly also over lack of being married and having kids) and is projecting that on to the rest of us. Most of my SAHM friends likewise haven't had any problem returning to work. It's just a lot of hating. When I left, my boss said to just let her know when I was ready to come back and she'd be happy to have me, and that's exactly what happened. I wasn't really gone that long, but I'm pretty sure I could have gone back even after 5 or more years.
I'm also in a field where the actual skills required don't change much. Basic computer programs (which I have trained people to learn!) change frequently but when **** hits the fan, a pen and paper is good enough.
Yes, I'm long-term unemployed after four years. The difference is that I left with raving references, a supervisor/fellow employees who still know me because I speak to them occasionally and send picture of my kids, an excellent progressive work history despite this blip, etc. I'm not coming from being fired, being laid-off in an industry with poor hiring outlook, terrible resume/cover letter, bad interview skills, no university degree, whatever. I've just taken an extended break, that's all.
People can say how "bad" we SAHMs have it in terms of outlook, but I really beg to differ. I thought of going back to work last summer and sent out 6 resumes, and got 6 interviews. I decided to take some more time since my youngest was still a wee baby. I'm not out of the game, and that proves it.
I don't understand why people who have never been a SAHM and tried to go back to work want to speak for us? Have you sent out resumes/cover letters as a SAHM? No? Then how do you know? You just assume we forget how to type while changing diapers all day?
I'm also in a field where the actual skills required don't change much. Basic computer programs (which I have trained people to learn!) change frequently but when **** hits the fan, a pen and paper is good enough.
Yes, I'm long-term unemployed after four years. The difference is that I left with raving references, a supervisor/fellow employees who still know me because I speak to them occasionally and send picture of my kids, an excellent progressive work history despite this blip, etc. I'm not coming from being fired, being laid-off in an industry with poor hiring outlook, terrible resume/cover letter, bad interview skills, no university degree, whatever. I've just taken an extended break, that's all.
People can say how "bad" we SAHMs have it in terms of outlook, but I really beg to differ. I thought of going back to work last summer and sent out 6 resumes, and got 6 interviews. I decided to take some more time since my youngest was still a wee baby. I'm not out of the game, and that proves it.
I don't understand why people who have never been a SAHM and tried to go back to work want to speak for us? Have you sent out resumes/cover letters as a SAHM? No? Then how do you know? You just assume we forget how to type while changing diapers all day?
Yep. I agree with all of this. Good point about the references. I was a good employee before, and I kept in touch with my former supervisor and coworkers. I sent Christmas cards and occasional emails. When the time came, I had good references. I think managers tend to understand that it is common to take time off after babies. It isn't the same as someone who is out of work for some other reason. In this case it is obvious we left on our own.
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 04-02-2014 at 06:24 PM..
What I disagree with is that the 50's model is NOT a model we should strive for. Why not?
I think the real reason that we will not go back to the '50s model is that women do not want to go back to having no choices in how to live their lives.
Like you I see value in having someone at home to tend to the family, the house and the spouse. I see so much value in in that I gave up my successful career to stay home with my kids and do the SAHM thing. However, I had a choice in my life. I was able to start up a career when I graduated from college as I saw fit. I wasn't marginalized simply because I was a woman. I think that is the reason that we will not go back to the 1950s model. Women want the choice to be a SAHM or not.
I do think that the dog eat dog world you describe in the rest of your post is detrimental to the social order. I also think that there must be a better way. I just don't think we will be going back to the strict gender roles of the 1950s any time soon.
This was discussed in this thread before and it is very true. Unfortunately also not very likely.
I don't know why you say that. I know plenty of women who go back to work after taking time off (myself included).
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