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I cringe when people at work, usually my higher ups, refer to us at work as a "family." I work to be compensated with a paycheck. Work people are most assuredly not my family. They take time away from my family.
Also, I realize that as a woman, I actually have boundary issues with other women at work, more so than I do with men. Mean Girls are at work. I never joined a sorority in college. I commuted and worked and put myself through school. Whenever the cliques start to form at work, especially the chatty and phony ones, I usually am aware but don't find it enjoyable to be cliquish. And sometimes when you aren't part of the "cool kids" or the cliques at work or one of the Mean Girls, it hurts your career or you become their target. Sometimes other women join the cliques and target one person, just so they avoid becoming a target.
Thoughts or reactions to work families? Unlike friends, families and work people are not necessarily chosen into my life by my own choice because of shared interests. Unlike family, work people are not tied to me by any connection other than work. And sometimes I don't like work!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I'm glad I'm not in this situation. I like the people I work with and generally have at most of my jobs. Sure, I do it for the paycheck, but I go hiking, kayaking, watch a game, etc with people from work a fair amount. I enjoy my time with many of them (certainly not all or even the majority) more than family, really. Which is good as I interact with them a great deal more. I made a conscious decision in my early 30s to not choose my jobs based on how high the salary is, or even entirely on how it will help me get to where I want to go (I spent too much time looking ahead and not enough in the present) and more on how I fit and how much would I like working there. It's worked well, I see many of my old co-workers from past jobs as well... they've become real friends and not just "work friends".
Sure, co-workers aren't tied to you by anything more than work at the outset, but family isn't tied to you by anything more than shared DNA (if that)... the ties for both can become much more than that, but they don't have to.
I work from home now mostly to avoid the annoyances and interruptions of office chatter from work people. Almost 20 and 15 years later, I am still friends with coworkers I met on the job when I was younger and just starting out. They are true friends to me. But, the older I get, the less time I really have outside of work to dedicate to people I only share a connection with through work. Maybe when you get older, or if unfortunately your work "friends" betray your trust and you get fired or laid off, you will not view work people as "family."
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by new_job1
Maybe when you get older, or if unfortunately your work "friends" betray your trust and you get fired or laid off, you will not view work people as "family."
Well, I am firmly middle aged now and have been working a bit more than 20 years professionally... and if you didn't notice, I don't consider "work friends" real friends until I leave the job and maintain the relationships. I never said they were family, but thanks for putting words in my mouth.
It reminds of someone in my husband's 'upper management' -- when she first took over the position, she introduced her to his crew of 5 (they perform the contracted services through their employer for her corporation). She made reference to the fact that she knew 'how to manage a crew of men' since she was mother to four sons! Now my husband is old enough to be her father. He certainly isn't looking for a 'mother figure' in his employment !!! She was trying to express how they'd work 'like a family' How unprofessional.
It boded on how she interacts, however, but fortunately, she really isn't an integral player in his doing his day to day job.
I work from home now mostly to avoid the annoyances and interruptions of office chatter from work people. Almost 20 and 15 years later, I am still friends with coworkers I met on the job when I was younger and just starting out. They are true friends to me. But, the older I get, the less time I really have outside of work to dedicate to people I only share a connection with through work. Maybe when you get older, or if unfortunately your work "friends" betray your trust and you get fired or laid off, you will not view work people as "family."
You just sound like you have an axe to grind for some reason.
There's nothing wrong with work being like a family if that means your coworkers have your back. Perhaps the problem here is that they didn't get that team player vibe from you, and that's why it seems like they are in cliques. I seriously doubt they are; you have just distanced yourself from the rest of the group. You kinda shot yourself in the foot with that move.
I cringe when people at work, usually my higher ups, refer to us at work as a "family." I work to be compensated with a paycheck. Work people are most assuredly not my family. They take time away from my family.
Also, I realize that as a woman, I actually have boundary issues with other women at work, more so than I do with men. Mean Girls are at work. I never joined a sorority in college. I commuted and worked and put myself through school. Whenever the cliques start to form at work, especially the chatty and phony ones, I usually am aware but don't find it enjoyable to be cliquish. And sometimes when you aren't part of the "cool kids" or the cliques at work or one of the Mean Girls, it hurts your career or you become their target. Sometimes other women join the cliques and target one person, just so they avoid becoming a target.
Thoughts or reactions to work families? Unlike friends, families and work people are not necessarily chosen into my life by my own choice because of shared interests. Unlike family, work people are not tied to me by any connection other than work. And sometimes I don't like work!
I love how women always cry discrimination when men make more than women or get promoted over them, but then admit that they prefer working with and for men. On top of that, they only want to date men who make more than them. Such hypocrisy.
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