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I would say my worst professional attribute is speaking, even in small groups, but especially in professional environments. I am just not very good at it. Not only do I get nervous, but I have a stuttering problem since I was much younger. Also, when I speak, words/noise would come out of my mouth when I don't intend them to, literally. Is there a diagnosis term for that? I have done a few meetings with prospects and clients at my work place, and I know that my coworkers know of my downfall, and I can tell they are actually quite embarrassed of me. I just don't speak very well. It doesn't help that English used to be my 2nd language either. I say "used to be" because I'm no longer good at my mother language either. Pretty sad. Our Marketing Director refuses to introduce me to clients or prospects and excludes me in 99% of the meetings when there's only 6 of us in the company. He has other issues against me, but I believe my speaking skills is one of the things why he's so embarrassed of me.
Anyway, even though I pretty much handle all the operations in our office, my coworkers and bosses do not give me the credit that I am in charge of operations (bosses give me credit in my reviews, but not to the outside world like clients). When clients come in and ask who their Chief Operations Officer is, they would try to avoid my name and make it sound like I do lower end work, which is not true at all. We don't officially have a COO, but I'm basically the person who manages operations; my official title is Operations Manager. I have improved the company's disaster recovery plans, technologies, and other systems and processes since I've been here. I am the company's help desk next to our IT consultant. I back up our head trader when she's out. All this, and they just tell the client that I only reconcile accounts. I reconcile too, but that's only part of my job. The company always invite the new guy that we hired (Chief Compliance Officer) to talk about operations even though he is not in charge of it; he's only in charge of compliance and work with me and others in operations. However, he is very good at speaking. Most of the time, he speaks too much whereas I do not speak a lot. I'm more of a do-er instead of speak-er. I actually used to do compliance as well. Did practically everything in that area as well, but was not given the title. The new guy now gets paid at least 30% more than me.
I have taken ToastMasters classes, but did not finish it. I chickened out on TM too. I do quite well in my job EXCEPT for that one thing. I really hate it because I know that speaking and selling yourself can lead you to so many things, and is the one thing that have really held me back. The people that I've known to get promoted over and over were not the best workers or even people, but they just knew how to talk. Think Obama when he was running for president. Great speaker, but look how he turned out to be (and I voted for him in the first term...ugh). That's another discussion...
Just ranting as I don't see there's anything I can do...is there? I know my coworkers and bosses are treating me unfairly, but I feel like there's nothing I can do if that's how they feel about me.
Definitely speech therapy or undiagnosed tourette's, but I'm just a jerk on the internet who is literally sitting in an armchair right now.
Would definitely look into speech therapy, and as an added bonus, it's covered by health insurance in most cases.
Alternatively, it sounds like you're dealing with self-esteem issues, so I would even suggest counseling as well.
Last step: If you're having major issues with your work place, nothing stopping you from looking around at other jobs. In fact, I think looking for a job when your self-esteem is low and you currently have a job is the best time to look - because if someone hires you, that means they *REALLY* want you.
"Talkers" and people who can pitch that do mediocre work are often favored over more talented people in many work places.
Unfortunately, I think you are going to encounter the same problem if you go to work for a new employer.
Better to tackle the problem first. Maybe go to an expert in Learning Disabilities. A speech therapist will only cover the physical part of a speaking problem. It could be how you are wired, similar to what a dyslexic goes through with reading.
The course has some neuro-linguistic programming exercises you can practice regularly to get rid of the stutter. Unfortunately there are no quick-fix tips for getting rid of stutter. You will have to figure out the underlying psychological issues & fix those. Try going back to toastmasters as you will be in a group of people who understand your problem & are there to support you. Get into the 'habit' of speaking so that it comes naturally to you. Practice deep breathing meditation exercises regularly to keep calm. Try these free guided meditations to get started: http://www.fragrantheart.com/cms/free-audio-meditations
When you are feeling relaxed & confident all the time, the stutter will eventually disappear. The root cause is lack of confidence & anxiety. Address these issues & the stutter will go away.
OP, you got some great advice! Follow through on it. Tell people at your work that you are starting speech classes (or whatever) and ask for their support. Hold you head up and work hard! You will get better.
I'm sorry your coworkers are so mean. You sound very intelligent! Not everyone has a golden tongue, but with practice (and maybe counseling) you will do better. Don't let this problem get the best of you.
OP, you got some great advice! Follow through on it. Tell people at your work that you are starting speech classes (or whatever) and ask for their support. Hold you head up and work hard! You will get better.
I'm sorry your coworkers are so mean. You sound very intelligent! Not everyone has a golden tongue, but with practice (and maybe counseling) you will do better. Don't let this problem get the best of you.
Yes, I agree.
Everyone has some drawbacks & challenges. Some are too obvious & mean people use them to make others miserable to feel better about their own insecurities. They are bullies. If it was me, I would do whatever I could to improve my speaking skills, become a BIG asset to the company, earn their respect & then ditch them for a better opportunity. Go for it & show them your worth.
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