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OP, please read the above advice and take it to heart, if you haven't already learned your lesson. I've seen others make the same mistake - believing their manager was looking out for them, they openly discussed their concerns only to get fired by said manager a short while later.
Don't for a second believe your manager is actually your friend and has your best interests at heart. The same goes for your colleagues.
It's sad that this is the way things are now. As a manager, I can tell you I did have my people's best interest at heart and there are managers out there like that. I wanted them ALL to get promoted to the next level and/or whatever would make them productive and happy in their lives. I went to their weddings, family funerals, etc and wouldn't have thought to do otherwise.
I've had maybe two managers like that myself. One of my first bosses ~ who taught me everything I know ~ and my last boss who just retired. I still keep in touch with her and miss her sense of humor and sound advice.
But, these days, it's probably true. Keep your poker face on and your personal life personal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallysmom
Yeah -- ex-boss was an idiot. Maybe she was trying to make you feel better but the saying is when one door closes, a window opens.
I add my advice for therapy, too. But one other thing -- work seems a lot better when it's your choice to work. The only way I know how to do that is to sock money away. When I realized I could walk away from my working life -- it would be hard, it would require sacrifice, but I could do it -- it seemed everything changed for me.
I owe, I owe so off to work I go -- funny bumpersticker, bad reality.
It's true though. I feel a little bit differently since I inherited some money. It won't be spent; it's all been reinvested; but if I lost my job tomorrow ~ I wouldn't starve. That does lend a different perspective; I'm not quite as frantic thinking I could be fired any day.
I understand how you feel because I have been in a similar situation. It seems that you feel you have no control as to what happens at the job no matter what you do. But you do have some control.
Based on my past experience, I picked up on where you may have opened the door for your manager to hurt you. It was when you sat down and had a candid talk with her about wanting a job with benefits and she SEEMED understanding. At that time, she knew she could no longer use you in this position for as long as she liked. She was never going to help you get a permanent position. She was being fake about that. I have learned to never confide my feelings of that nature to Mangers because they always use it against you. They are not your friends no matter how comfortable you feel around them.
Basically, I want you to understand that your work product was so good that she couldn't let you go for that so she picked to use what you confided in her about(needing more) and she used it against you to get rid of you. Your "attitude" about wanting more and this job wasn't enough for you. Your mistake was confiding in her. Do not do that again.
Also, her comment about when a door closes jump out a window shows what a piece of garbage she is. We come across mental cases throughout our work like but we cannot internalize and always think it is us. A lot of times we are just dealing with a mental case that can't be trusted and enjoys humiliating their subordinates.
You are in a better place so let don't let that sick woman live in your head rent free. You overcame and should be proud of yourself.
I agree with everything 3littlebirdies has posted with the exception of the bolded statement above. I would say managers often use it against you, and since you have no way of knowing who will and who won't, the best thing to do is to not share your plans, thoughts, personal business, etc.
You are ruminating, and honestly, to suggest you have ptsd based on this incident it offensive to people who have truly undergone traumatic experiences. This is not ptsd, this is your inability to let go plus some fear.
I agree with the others about considering getting help, but please call it what it is and not ptsd.
Well first off you were a temp, so why would you think you had any "job security" there to begin with? A temp can be let go at any time for any reason.
It could be after 3 days or 6 months.
You were lucky the temp agency even suggested unemployment benefits as they didn't have another assignment for you. They're notorious for FIGHTING UE benefits even after a temp finishes an assignment and it ends for no other reason than the temp is no longer needed at the company.
Per your other posts you have a full time job now, but your biggest issue seems to be(because you start threads on it all the time) is separating your work life from your private life.
You get too involved and share to much personal business with coworkers outside of the job.
Perhaps that is why you have this fear, you can't just come into work and do your job and go home. Jobs are still shaky enough these days without adding drama in the workplace.
Well first off you were a temp, so why would you think you had any "job security" there to begin with? A temp can be let go at any time for any reason.
It could be after 3 days or 6 months.
You were lucky the temp agency even suggested unemployment benefits as they didn't have another assignment for you. They're notorious for FIGHTING UE benefits even after a temp finishes an assignment and it ends for no other reason than the temp is no longer needed at the company.
Per your other posts you have a full time job now, but your biggest issue seems to be(because you start threads on it all the time) is separating your work life from your private life.
You get too involved and share to much personal business with coworkers outside of the job.
Perhaps that is why you have this fear, you can't just come into work and do your job and go home. Jobs are still shaky enough these days without adding drama in the workplace.
Sean, I don't know if you ever worked in a office, but it's quite common for people to share personal stuff at work. The ladies in my office are always talking about their home life, problems with husbands, family, children. I know things about people that I wish I did not know. The manager that fired me told me that her husband left her, cheated on her, and that he doesn't pay child support. She had to sell her house back to the bank. If that's not personal, I don't know what is. I actually wished she had been more professsional.
I'm also glad that you keep up with my posts. You must find them interesting.
I have talked to a therapist who said that these things happen and the manager should have taken me into a conference to let me go rather than embarrassment in front of everyone.
I'm just so insecure now. Worried no matter how well I do at this job, I'll get fired again.
All temp jobs eventually wind up this way. If they sense you might be a "problem" or wanting something more, they will just get rid of you. It is easier to fire a temp than a permanent employee (less red tape), and temps are also treated worse. Abuse of temporaries is huge problem today. Not just mental, emotional abuse, but did you know that temporary workers are more likely to die or be injured on the job than permanent workers? That is because corporations see them as less than human. They get less training than permanent workers on safety issues. And the temp agencies they work for don't care about their well being at all.
About 90% of temp jobs never give notice when you are being let go - they usually just call you at home after the work day is over and tell you not to go back.
You did nothing wrong, you just asked for something permanent. There ARE alternatives to working temporary, but most people won't listen when I tell them. Because those alternatives are not always white collar, office jobs. And that is, sadly, the real issue of why people keep using temporary services: so they can work in a business environment.
I know several people who have worked only temp for many years, and they keep hoping the next assignment will be the one to go perm. But it never does. The agencies lie and tell them everything is "temp to hire". And because they've been temping for so long now, most employers think something is wrong with them. Temping on a long term basis has done irreparable damage to their careers.
What I would do is apply at Starbucks or a retail store, work mostly evenings and weekends, and use my weekdays to go on job interviews for permanent jobs. I would NOT EVER TEMP AGAIN. I have a college degree but again, I would work at Starbuck's instead until I landed something better.
When I temped I was subjected to all kinds of abuses. I even worked at a place that forced me to work through my lunch hour, but wouldn't let me put it on my timecard so they wouldn't pay me for it. Since it was a "temp to hire" assignment, I thought if I just put up with it they'd hire me someday. They never did! This was a very large, well known corporation.
Sean, I don't know if you ever worked in a office, but it's quite common for people to share personal stuff at work. The ladies in my office are always talking about their home life, problems with husbands, family, children. I know things about people that I wish I did not know. The manager that fired me told me that her husband left her, cheated on her, and that he doesn't pay child support. She had to sell her house back to the bank. If that's not personal, I don't know what is. I actually wished she had been more professsional.
I'm also glad that you keep up with my posts. You must find them interesting.
No, I never worked in an office....LOL.
Actually I learned very quickly after my first "office job" that it's not a good idea to get too chummy with people at work, or share all your personal business.
I actually had to do temp work after getting laid off, and like you had a assignment that lasted 9 months. Now they told me in advance that it was ending, it had already been extended longer than originally planned. I was polite, but I wasn't friendly. I did my work, didn't have much discussion other than work related conversation, and took my lunch hour and weather permitting sat outside with a book. I wasn't there to make friends or listen to personal business.
And sorry from your other posts you do get too involved with people at work. You don't learn all about people's divorces and dirty laundry unless you put yourself in that position.
If someone starts talking about something too personal, you can nip it in the bud with "I'm sorry I not comfortable with talking about personal issues at work".
From your other posts you don't do that. You get too involved with coworkers and than post about issues that could have been avoided. For example going out to Happy Hours and people talking about those who aren't present was something you posted about.
Simple solution, I have a class tonight, my dog needs to be let out, whatever excuse you want. Once you turn down an invitation or two, they will stop asking.
Ever occur to you that the reason you were let go from this temp job is this woman had second thoughts about all this personal business she told a temp, and figured she shared too much information and you might spread it around????
You there to work, not socialize or play Dr. Phil.
Ever occur to you that the reason you were let go from this temp job is this woman had second thoughts about all this personal business she told a temp, and figured she shared too much information and you might spread it around????
You there to work, not socialize or play Dr. Phil.
She would have been fired eventually, regardless of anything else. They had no intention of ever making her permanent. Temporaries have low chances of being made perm these days. Even if you are really good at your job, they will make up some reason why you don't work out, and fire you.
Although it might be unwise to talk & share with your co-workers, the flip side is that if you don't share information with them, they might think you are an unfriendly snob. You are damned either way. It does not really matter.
As I was about to walk out the door, I asked her what the problem was, and she said that she didn't think I could do monotenous work. She said when one door closes, you should jump out a window. I just stared at her and walk out the door to my car and left.
I'm just so insecure now. Worried no matter how well I do at this job, I'll get fired again.
Honestly, if someone, especially someone in a supervisory position, told me that they didn't think I'd be satisfied with monotonous work, I'd take that as a real compliment-that they recognized I was smart enough to be challenged and would always strive to learn more and better myself- that I had a lot of potential.
Also, the window comment, maybe she worded it awkwardly, but she might have meant that you should fully embrace the new opportunity that being fired has provided. I don't think she meant you should jump out of the window as in give up on yourself. (I assume you have heard the saying about a window opening when one door closes).
Sometimes thinking about things from another perspective really helps. Good luck to you.
I think your last boss was a sociopath and there are a lot of sociopaths in American companies especially in management, supervisory or executive positions. Companies that use long term temps are typically botton tier dirtbags run by ammoral slime. Just move on and perhaps put something on glassdoor.
You really should have been actively seeking an FTE position the entire time you were temping rather than sit there and hope you will eventually be made permanent. As I stated above companies that use permatemps are abusive/deplorable places to work and less than 27% of temps even in positions labeled temp to hire are hired.
Lessons learned is when you are a temp you are there for a paycheck and your other job should be finding a real job.
Lesson two your boss is not your friend. She was looking out for herself no you and you should not confide anything to them that can come back to bite you.
I don't ask people to tell me their business. Women like to talk about stuff...to other women. If you avoid them or shut them down, they will think you are a snob. Also they often ask for advice on thier issues.
I've heard all kinds of personal stories from the cheating husband gave his wife an STD to the lady who had a baby in high school and put it up for adoption. Sometimes it's a lady cheating with someone elses boyfriend and she asks "do you think he will leave her"???
When the crazy manager told me about her ex and how she lost her house, I felt so uncomfortable I wanted to run. It's just TMI but if I didn't act like I cared, that would have been rude. I was let go four months after her telling me this so maybe she was embarrassed.
Balancing the personal with the business is a slipery slope. I guess I haven't found an answer yet to that question.
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