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Old 08-30-2014, 12:54 AM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
11,936 posts, read 13,055,515 times
Reputation: 27078

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Howiester View Post
I am the assistant regional manager at a mid-tier paper company in Northeast Pennsylvania.

How would I describe myself? Three words: hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable.

Accomplishments: I won salesman of the month 13 times in 2005.

I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.


Bonus: Films - I've seen over 240 of them.


No Dwight, you cannot go into management since you shot your gun in the office.

Gather your rescue piranha, your bronze Caesar, and head back to your desk.

The good news? Angela's baby IS yours.
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Old 09-02-2014, 09:52 AM
 
2,365 posts, read 2,833,149 times
Reputation: 3172
"Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert."

"Everyone has called me 'Dwayne' all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to."

"This morning, I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer."

"Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the woman's room. When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can."

"This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone."

"Every time I typed my name, it said 'Diapers'."

"By the end of the day, my desk was about two feet closer to the copier."
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