How do you stop being angry at a prior (and crappy) employer? (credit report, job)

[thatguydownsouth]

Its perfectly normal in a lot of fields to take personal pride in your work and what you've contributed to the company. When you find out that your hard work was changed or dropped altogether it can be frustrating. Personally I designed a very helpful tool in my last job to help with the financial reporting, then after I left I found out they scrapped it because the new manager didn't want to focus on that particular area of reporting. I was slightly miffed because I put a good 200 hours into designing and testing it, out of my own ambition.

But you have to look at it like an ex, move on and leave your old trash for someone else to treasure.

[ToraG]

OP, you need to stop taking things personally at work.

Work is just that, work. It's a means to an end ( paycheck ). Think about it, would you be there if you weren't being paid? No.

So stop thinking that work/corporate life is fair. There is nothing fair about it. Bottom line is money. Money you earn, and money the company earns from exploiting employees.

It's the same everywhere

[MPowering1]

Originally Posted by Autum1031

How have other people "moved on" from previously awful experiences? Not that *any* job loss is usually good, but some are worse than others. People say "just let it go" but it's not that easy. I think a lot of my lingering resentment is that it was so personal. I didn't lose my job because of budget cuts, or an organizational shift, or because I was a bad worker. It was because someone higher up thought my skills were "useless." That's really painful, even if my new job thinks they are awesome.

It really is that easy. You do it by refusing to ruminate about the negative, keeping eyes forward, and being grateful for your new job.

You aren't only taking something personally which shouldn't be taken personally, you're replaying it in your mind over and over and over again. You're doing this to yourself. All you have to do is stop.

It really is that easy.

I have to ask, did you post this question previously? We had a post just like this not that long ago.

[blueherons]

When I first moved to Sarasota, Florida I got a job bartending at a waterfront restaurant and it was a fantastic job! The people were beyond awesome and we really bonded together. In fact, we are all still close three years later and travel to see each other (some of us have moved).

The management was HORRENDOUS!!! One of the managers was stealing tips from us and then she started firing all the female employees because her boyfriend was the executive chef and she was very insecure.

I was fired when this same manager, promoted a known heroin addict to my position. He was working on his sobriety.

Yes, let's give a heroin addict an unlimited supply of booze and cash.

What happened? He started stealing money and booze, was back on the smack almost immediately, and got fired.

It took less than two weeks.

It pisses me off that they had such a great group of money and management screwed it up.

[HokieFan]

Time.

Over time you will get over it, and the experience will just be an unpleasant memory. Remember, it takes more energy to be angry than to just let it go.

[animalcrazy]

I left a job after 13 years of misery. I was told that if I didn't conform to their demands that I would be terminated. I found another job that I liked way better. As I left for my last shift the rainbow came out and the angels sang. It's only a job. It's not your life. Find something better. I've been much happier since I left that nightmare.

[Utopian Slums]

I'm still upset about being fired from a job in 2010 due to my disability. I get angry every time I see someone write about people not being able to get fired directly due to a disability. In truth, the employer has much more leverage than you know which leads me back to how unjust life is in general.

So just think about the level of my anger and be happy you're not me!

[RVD90277]

aw, this one is hard. i still get pissed off when i think back to one situation that i was in. i never received a poor review in my life (over 20 years of work) and this guy just joined the company and 2 weeks in said that i had problems and that he needed to coach me, that i wasn't performing up to his standards, etc. i was like wtf? i filed for transfer to another team because i didn't want to work with the guy and guy actually had to gall to block my transfer citing performance issues. so i left the company for a job at a more prestigious company that paid a lot more and when i told him, the guy shocked the hell out of me when he said how disappointed he is and wanted me to stay...when that didn't work he went on to say how i wouldn't be successful there, how i still had a lot to learn, etc. lol....it's only been a few years but yes it's hard to let go sometimes.

try to keep it out of mind.

if it makes you feel better, here's another story. i had a TA in college who was a real jerk. he graded really hard and it basically got rid of any motivation to do homework. why spend hours working on a homework assignment when he's going to give you almost no credit for it because he grades so hard? i went to a top university so it was almost impossible to actually get these homework assignments right 100% of the way. about a year later i go to interview a guy at my company and in walks this guy. lol...he remembered me and was all nice to me, etc. no, i didn't give him the job.

another one? i hired a sysadmin once who was a weird guy (always watching porn on his computer in the office, etc.). eventually i fired the guy. he sued the company (me) for giving his last paycheck a few days too late and was a jerk about it. a few years later, i see him in the office interviewing with one of my guys. i walked over to our recruiter and said that we're not hiring that guy...they sent him home.

don't burn bridges.

my industry is very small. i am pretty sure that i will run into my previous manager again...and no, he won't get a job at my company. i work at a large company but one of the most prestigious in the industry so i know he wants to work here. we take internal feedback very seriously so he will never work here. lol.

RVD.

[bobtn]

Originally Posted by Eastcoasting

...and you can skewer them on glass door

That would be a public service as well.

[Difficult Dave]

Just like I tell my sons.
That was yesterday - and there is no way in hello that you can change what happened. You are wasting the good times.
Concentrate on what you can change, since you're only going round once.