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Sir is ok, but avoid "ma'am" like the plague. I experimented with this, and 99.9% of women react negatively to "ma'am." For one thing it is somewhat harsh-sounding. I use 'miss' with all females whether they are 8 or 80. It might be a little risky in a professional setting, but then if someone is going to take offense, maybe you don't want to be working for her.
Where was your pool of women? Because in Texas that is NOT the case. My daughter's drill team were taught to respond with Ma'am or Sir and even as a young step-mom of 28, I was not at all offended. I was actually very proud to have such respectful young girls associated with my daughter.
A lot of times when I hear someone using sir and ma'am, it seems contrived. If you want to truly be polite, then be legitimately nice. This comes across in a much more genuine manner than trying to win someone over with certain words.
A lot of times when I hear someone using sir and ma'am, it seems contrived. If you want to truly be polite, then be legitimately nice. This comes across in a much more genuine manner than trying to win someone over with certain words.
That may be true where you are from but certainly not here. It doesn't sound forced at all.
From what I was taught (born/raised in Detroit), you can offend some women by calling them ma'am, as it makes them feel old.
That said, I understand that using Sir or Ma'am is perfectly normal in the south.
Yes, there is a great amount of regionalism about that in the south. It's common for nearly everyone, except for older people to substantially younger people, unless there is a known role difference that puts the younger person in an authoritative role.
But I've also seen it commonly n the Mid-West and the Great Plains outside the major metro areas.
I don't think too deep about it, but those terms are bastardizations of colonialist honorifics. The "Sir" is usually someone knighted by a monarch, probably British or Spanish, and later migrated to the Americas to establish an exploitive plantation off the backs of indentured servants, poor laborers, natives, and slaves. So I equate the use of "sir" or "ma'am" as a symbol of servitude or service. Perfectly fine if I work in service like being a waiter, but not otherwise. Obviously, in the south it is just a common polite greeting, but it isn't necessarily common in all contexts elsewhere.
No, the use in the US actually de-established--watered down, egalatarianized--the use of "sir" as a definite honorific. But it's a common minor mannerism in modern Spanish, German, and French usage as well.
Using that logic, I should expect anyone with less experience to call me sir instead of my first name and/or treat me as being better than them. Asinine. As someone else mentioned, we are all humans.
Yeah, and in my Fortune 50 company, everyone is supposedly on a first-name basis, and I have, indeed, called the CEO by his first name on a couple of occasions.
But we darned sure are not "equal" in the company, and woe to the person who didn't catch on. It's a false note of egalitarianism. I'd rather be back in the military where I knew who was who from a glance at their shoulders...a much more honest system.
Southerner? Mr./Ms
Military? Rank if known, if not known but name is known, Mr./Ms., if no name known, once again, Sir/Ma'am
Police? Always "Officer"
I'm still not sure why people think "Sir" is better than "Mr. XXX" if you know what "XXX" is.
Sometimes "yes" or "no" alone feels undesirably terse for the situation, and saying "No, Mr Smith" every time gets a whole lot older than saying, "No, sir."
A lot of times when I hear someone using sir and ma'am, it seems contrived. If you want to truly be polite, then be legitimately nice. This comes across in a much more genuine manner than trying to win someone over with certain words.
^
This
I hate the every sentence, "yes ma'am" 'rs. Sometimes it seems like they're doing it on purpose to prove how much older you seem to be compared to them. I can easily be polite without adding sir or ma'am all the time. If you insist on bombarding me, I can just as easily throw them back on you
Some old posts, but I agree totally Sidney123. Riding the bus you experience how rude what seems like a majority of people have become.
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