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There is nothing wrong with coming into work and being professional. Being professional is to get along with people there and communicate with them. If you give people the cold shoulder like that as a first impression, you basically screwed yourself over in the work place. The moment there is a problem there, people are going to be watching out for those who are friendly to them, not the d*ck.
The OP is going to have to work triple overtime now to try to win these people back. Your first order of business in a new place should have been to make sure you were socially sensitive to your co-workers. Not everyone shows up at the job every day just for a paycheck, they expect to be treated like they exist and matter.
I try not to interact with coworkers. If some tensions occur at work then I would end up dreading to go to work. I'd forget that work is a place to make money to pay bills, and not to socialize. But if you do end up being friends with coworkers, it would only lead to disappointment if one of them gets fired, moves away, quits, or gets promoted instead of you even if they did much less work than you did.
So I understand completely about that situation. But you should be honest with them. Tell them your experiences with other people and they should understand. If they don't, then they are just nosey. Perhaps you already did this but I did not read the other replies to this thread.
Do this and you will never fit in, or be happy with the job. When I managed stores, this is the type of attitude we got rid of people for. When you are not being friendly with your co-workers it shows the same to customers, and will effect the customers and reduce their buying and spending dollars with the store. When you have this attitude, do yourself and the store a favor and quit before you get laid off over your attitude.
A retail store, has groups that work together much differently than many jobs. They need to be friendly with one another, and work well together like any other team. It does not mean you socialize after work, but if you want to be a success at the store, you need to be friendly and outgoing with your co-workers.
What the OP is finding, is the co-workers want him/her to be part of the team, not off by themselves all the time. They are not saying, lets go out for drinks and party after work. What they are saying, is when at work be friendly and associate with us. Retail is more of a team, than most jobs. You need to be friendly with your co-workers, so you will be friendly and outgoing with the customers. I spent over 10 years in retail, and have managed stores, so you are talking about something I know about. I never associated with co-workers outside of work, but at work I was friendly and respected by my work mates, both men and women. Can you imagine a football team, where the players were unfriendly with one another and did not work close together. LOSERS, LOSERS, LOSERS. They would be a losing team. Retail is the same way. Either be friendly with your co-workers at work, or get out of the business.
I don't blame you, I'm the same way. Nothing good can come out of getting too chummy with people you must remain professional with.
I disagree.
There is a difference between being professional and actually being friends. There are people I've worked with for years and saw them every day. 40+ hours a week for years I saw them. I went to lunch with them, sat in very long meetings with them, worked on projects, etc. But never saw them socially. Never had them to my house and I never went to their home. None of it was necessary because we had a friendly professional relationship. I'd feel comfortable calling any of them years later if needed too.
There's a different relationship with co-workers than if they are actual friends. I only became actual friends with a few co-workers who I shared the same interests with.
Nothing good can come out of giving people the cold shoulder.
Do this and you will never fit in, or be happy with the job. When I managed stores, this is the type of attitude we got rid of people for. When you are not being friendly with your co-workers it shows the same to customers, and will effect the customers and reduce their buying and spending dollars with the store. When you have this attitude, do yourself and the store a favor and quit before you get laid off over your attitude.
A retail store, has groups that work together much differently than many jobs. They need to be friendly with one another, and work well together like any other team. It does not mean you socialize after work, but if you want to be a success at the store, you need to be friendly and outgoing with your co-workers.
What the OP is finding, is the co-workers want him/her to be part of the team, not off by themselves all the time. They are not saying, lets go out for drinks and party after work. What they are saying, is when at work be friendly and associate with us. Retail is more of a team, than most jobs. You need to be friendly with your co-workers, so you will be friendly and outgoing with the customers. I spent over 10 years in retail, and have managed stores, so you are talking about something I know about. I never associated with co-workers outside of work, but at work I was friendly and respected by my work mates, both men and women. Can you imagine a football team, where the players were unfriendly with one another and did not work close together. LOSERS, LOSERS, LOSERS. They would be a losing team. Retail is the same way. Either be friendly with your co-workers at work, or get out of the business.
Sorry I was talking about coworkers in general, not just retail. I wouldn't refuse to talk to somebody and I certainly wouldn't refuse to work with people just because I was afraid of me being hurt or them being nosey.
I believe keeping a distance is the better choice to avoid yourself from relationships at your offices. Its better to be controlled while sympathizing or praising your fellow workers.
To simply answer the question, yes you are. You're totally devoid of simple social grace and your future path in life is likely to be rather rocky if you can't learn (and enjoy) basic social interaction.
I live for being friendly. Once I get used to my surroundings, I'm usually the one cracking jokes.
OP, you don't have to be close friends with your coworkers but being cold isn't the way to go either.
And before anybody says "well I hate small talk.." or "well why do people give a **** about being nice to them"...well they're people. Humans like to be acknowledged, even though for many work is just work and not a place to make friends.
That's not what I said at all... I said that when you work with your friends everyone seems to pull their weight because they don't want to be known as a slacker. What I said had nothing to do with the people who don't wish to join in or their work habits. Nor do I think that people who don't wish to engage have a " problem". Each to their own.
I guess I'm trying to understand how being friends with everyone at work equates to one not being perceived as a slacker...
You work with them... you share the same common place and you all virtually do the same job... how can you NOT interact with them?
Do you have to be their friends? Nope...
Do you have to share any of your personal business? Nope...
Do you have to stand there and listen to their personal business? Nope...
But you have to find some middle ground... just be cordial... make small talk or listen to their small talk.
Although... sounds like all that went bye-bye long ago.
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