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Do you work in my company ?!?!?!
It is so common in my company I asked HR to let me reply to anything that is about me. Of course they dismissed that notion out of hand, but I just wanted to let them know lots of people are aware of what goes on in the supervisors play time. I work in a non-profit, so there is virtually no impetus for supervisors to perform or act professionally. None of them could meet the standards we are expected to conform to on their best day
As a member of the management team, I would WANT to know if one of my employees (or anyone for that matter) feels that I'm being inappropriate even if it's all in good fun. If something makes YOU feel uncomfortable, it is probably doing the same to others. Not to mention the boss loses the respect of his direct reports. As a boss, I do not want to do ANYTHING that would cause my team to not respect me and I would absolutely welcome them to come and talk to me about anything that concerns them. I'm the boss but that doesn't mean that I'm perfect and that I have no room to improve. If I do not realize that I'm doing something wrong then how do I know to improve? I've let everyone of my employees know to never be afraid to talk to me and I do walk the walk. I respect my team and truly care about how they feel. I've learned a lot from them as a result too.
I say, take the boss aside and have a private conversation about the situation. Be professional and focus on the issue, not on your boss personally. I've had this same conversation with my own boss before where he acted inappropriately during a team meeting. I explained to him my concern about how what was said could have a negative impact on our team, especially with new team members who do not quite know him as well as I do. He was very appreciative that I talked to him and he never did it again. Just my 2 cents for what it's worth.
Office gossip is inevitable, but coming from supervisors? That sounds totally unprofessional, especially if told for entertainment value. If anything, I'd think about changing my job/position so I wouldn't have to work for those supervisors.
Happens in education constantly. Changing positions does nothing since every single Principal/Vice Principal/Area Superintendent/Curriculum Specialist/Subject Supervisor etc. does it. Every, single one.
Dont participate or show any emotions. Great minds discuss ideas whereas average ones discuss people. Just ignore them. They want to be popular but have no sense of humor so they make fun of others. There is plenty of appropriate office humor but i dont think they hace the knack to be funny
If it's rude and to be mean that's far different than someone being humorous at others expense, while others can't take a joke. In my opinion people have too thin of skin. They can't take jokes and take everything personally. I am CONSTANTLY at the butt end of others jokes. I don't care. If I couldn't handle it I'd watch what I did a bit better.
Some things can go over the line, but I have a feeling it's probably more overreacting. I'd just keep doing what your doing, leave or change the subject.
Interesting responses, and disparate! Thanks everyone.
Actually, I've been at this company, and in this department, for over 10 years. I'd had a fair amount of respect for the top supervisor most of the time, though I've seen some definite mistakes as the company has gone the "leaner" route with higher stress levels. My now immediate supervisor used to be a coworker (no one I was close to) and was promoted a couple years ago to a middle-manager position newly created. I've seen her stumble a few times and apologize when she's been wrong; she's trying, in my opinion, to do a good job.
There have been times when I've approached them both about other things I thought needed addressing (such as, to present a VERY simplified example, when a part of our workflow begins to change due to forces outside the department--new technology or a change in customer communication channels--and I see where our own internal processes aren't shifting to accommodate the change, and it's going to cause disruption in production and could escalate into personal conflicts. Usually they (the management 2) handle that fairly well, inviting discussion, although solutions don't always "stick". On the other hand, problems with a heavy perfume-wearer in our department haven't been solved--and I don't want to go into that!)
But they both have this tendency to tell "funny" tales. They actually like to poke at each other and that's funny. And sometimes the rest of us like to poke at each other too. But to relate stories to new hires and others about a person who is not there who did something embarrassing and WAS embarrassed... (like the farting at a very inappropriate time)... to me, that's crossing a line. Just... shut up about it.
Incidentally, or perhaps not, our department lost its last male member last May and is now all female.
I've never heard what is said about me (I assume it occurs) when I'm not present. But I'm one of the older department members, and so I'm not exactly "in the loop" anymore.
In ancient times children were educated via stories, fairy tales and funny stores. Older people were politely informed via an anecdote. Is it possible that they are trying to do something with those stories ?
In ancient times children were educated via stories, fairy tales and funny stores. Older people were politely informed via an anecdote. Is it possible that they are trying to do something with those stories ?
Let me get this straight. You're saying supervisors in a modern professional setting are trying to educate the "children" (the younger new hires) by discussing non-business-related details that poke fun at absent coworkers and are best forgotten, and they're also politely informing any "seniors" (those of us who have been there a while and may have actually witnessed the original events) about what happened?
I suppose I'd agree they're "trying to do something" with these stories. Waste time and bring attention to themselves at the expense of others comes to mind. Sometimes there is a tolerable excuse for otherwise relatively decent people doing stupid things, but DPolo, I don't buy the reason you've apparently offered that they're trying to do something constructive.
convextech, your approach is so tempting and I like your choice of wording, but CRenaud, I think your approach might be better, just given what I know about these people and this place. If it doesn't work, maybe I'll try a comment like convextech's right in the meeting. Sometimes I get to a point where I just need to do what I think is right, and if there are repercussions know that at least I took the high road even if others did not. (Heck, it got me through a divorce with my self-respect intact.)
Thanks for helping me think this through...
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