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Old 01-23-2015, 04:06 PM
 
3,167 posts, read 3,985,961 times
Reputation: 8796

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I have had a wonderful job with great, normal, drama-free people for close to 15 years now.

Now the boss lady - basically a friend, the kind of boss who people actually love and who really cares about employees - promoted someone to be her assistant (sort of like an assistant manager), but the person she promoted is a nasty, back-stabbing beeyatch. Until now she's been in a low-level clerical position, and although no one really liked her she didn't have the power to really bother us. But over the past couple of years she's managed to become a close friend of the boss and has been manipulating her - whispering in her ear all the time (literally). We all knew it, and thought it annoying, but because the woman was basically just a receptionist and has little education (we are mostly people with graduate degrees, and she has only a little college) we didn't really worry about it. Then a high level position opened up and we were shocked when the position went to this woman. She beat out people with multiple graduate degrees, all kinds of spectacular professional accomplishments, and three times the experience.

At first, I hoped nothing would change. But it has. I now have the same sick anxiety feeling in my stomach that I had when I worked in crappy jobs in the past. I'm just so sad and so angry that this one woman has killed our little work nirvana. She's like a cancer.

And she has sabotaged a big project I was working on. The project was conceived of by the boss lady, so it's not my baby or anything, and the boss lady has a lot invested in its success. I worked my ass off to save it from complete failure this week, mostly trying to stay one step ahead of beeyatch girl, who was actively trying to cause it to fail. I can prove this, too. She went against a number of boss lady's directives when boss lady was not around, and refused to authorize paperwork I sent her way (causing clear loss of funds). It was really stressful for me, and I did save the project, but now beeyatch girl is pissed at me. I feel like she's just waiting for the moment to strike back. She's that kind of nasty.

I'm debating between leaving completely, moving to another job site or department, or trying to do something to fix it. But what can I do? This woman seems not to like me, and has been messing with me and causing me a lot of stress that I don't need. Do you think there is any way to win her over? Should I even bother to talk to the boss lady? I have hard proof of some things the beeyatch did, but I think she'll just make excuses for her. She's actually cost us a lot of money, and I can prove that to. But I'm thinking if boss lady can't see it by now, then she just doesn't want to. Plus, she promoted this witch, so that would be just criticizing her bad decision.

What would you do?
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Old 01-23-2015, 05:08 PM
 
894 posts, read 1,046,305 times
Reputation: 2662
I've found that people with no education working around people with high levels of education are often insecure and go overboard to compensate, usually by being nasty. At least that's the way it was at my last job. It always sucks when morons get placed in positions of power.

If your boss is unwilling to see what's going on, I'm not sure what you can do besides a) ignore her and only deal with her when you have to or b) look elsewhere for employment.
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:32 PM
 
324 posts, read 425,953 times
Reputation: 632
This is unfortunately all too common, when friendships override experience and qualifications. While you like your boss, this hiring decision shows really poor judgement, as it's now unravelling her team.

I'd wait it out a bit and see what else erupts. If it's happening to you, it's likely to happen to your colleagues and one of them will eventually speak up about it.

I want to see look elsewhere, but 15 years in a job you love is a lot to throw away just because of an insecure witch. Keep us posted!
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Suburb of Chicago
31,848 posts, read 17,504,350 times
Reputation: 29384
Document everything you do and everything she's doing to sabotage things. If you have a discussion about work and who is doing what, etc., send a follow up email to her. If she has a deadline and isn't getting something done, email her and cc your manager. These are all cya measures.

As far as her attitude, I feel as long as she isn't on a hierarchy level above yours, you don't have to put up with it. If she's rude, you can calmly say, "Is being rude necessary?" Or, "I don't respond when spoken to in that tone. If you want to ask nicely, I'll gladly get you what you need."

If there's a project to be done, ask your manager if you can take responsibility for it and delegate the work. Give her tasks that she can't sink the ship with and double check everything she does. If it's not done properly, document it. Then give it back to her, show her what she's done and have her do it over again.

The problem with people like this is that they are bulldozers with the people they can be and are sweet as pie with people in management.

People around her are probably always walking on eggshells because she gets away with it. Don't give her that power because that's the reason you're going into work feeling ill. Take back control. Become a brick wall that doesn't show emotion, remains calm, and will not cave.
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Old 01-24-2015, 05:21 PM
 
3,167 posts, read 3,985,961 times
Reputation: 8796
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1 View Post
Document everything you do and everything she's doing to sabotage things. If you have a discussion about work and who is doing what, etc., send a follow up email to her. If she has a deadline and isn't getting something done, email her and cc your manager. These are all cya measures.

As far as her attitude, I feel as long as she isn't on a hierarchy level above yours, you don't have to put up with it. If she's rude, you can calmly say, "Is being rude necessary?" Or, "I don't respond when spoken to in that tone. If you want to ask nicely, I'll gladly get you what you need."

If there's a project to be done, ask your manager if you can take responsibility for it and delegate the work. Give her tasks that she can't sink the ship with and double check everything she does. If it's not done properly, document it. Then give it back to her, show her what she's done and have her do it over again.

The problem with people like this is that they are bulldozers with the people they can be and are sweet as pie with people in management.

People around her are probably always walking on eggshells because she gets away with it. Don't give her that power because that's the reason you're going into work feeling ill. Take back control. Become a brick wall that doesn't show emotion, remains calm, and will not cave.
That's exactly all the stuff we don't do in our office. That's why I've stayed here so long. We are normal, and we like each other, and we don't have to do cya crap and waste all our time and energy on things that distract us from our real work. I will leave the department before I start working that way. I don't get paid enough to put up with that. If I was willing to do it, I could make a whole lot more money someplace else.

She is not supposed to be above me in any hierarchy. However, she is a critical support person, and she has the ability to sabotage anything. Also, she wants to be above me, and she makes decisions and issues edicts that are way beyond her authority, and which she is not even close to qualified for. It's like the receptionist telling the doctor what surgery to perform. And if the doctor complains, she can easily sabotage his work simply by scheduling the patient for the wrong operating room or typing up orders incorrectly.

I don't want to engage in some long battle with her. I don't get paid enough, I'm too old, and I'm not willing to stress myself like that. Plus, I'm not sure I can win, no matter what I can prove.

I should probably just transfer. It's a scary thought after all this time, but I don't see much alternative.
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Old 01-25-2015, 05:26 AM
 
19,963 posts, read 30,070,196 times
Reputation: 40008
strength in numbers

4 hyenas will drive away one lioness


write a letter, you all sign it,

it cant be personal opinion, it has to be workplace hostilities, lower productivities,
workplace culture
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:42 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 10,697,971 times
Reputation: 6606
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
strength in numbers

4 hyenas will drive away one lioness


write a letter, you all sign it,

it cant be personal opinion, it has to be workplace hostilities, lower productivities,
workplace culture
I second this motion. There is a division at my current employer that had something similar recently, they all put a meeting together with the manager (5 people) and had a say in what wasn't working. I haven't seen any changes yet, but they spoke their side. I would do this with your coworkers and manager, if nothing changes (and I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't), then I would go on either A. continue working and trying to avoid this person or have little contact, B. look for employment elsewhere (most people don't quit the company, they quit their boss). It's unfortunate that it has to come down to this, but I have seen it all too often. Work place relationships have a huge factor in ones professional happiness.
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:50 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 10,697,971 times
Reputation: 6606
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
That's exactly all the stuff we don't do in our office. That's why I've stayed here so long. We are normal, and we like each other, and we don't have to do cya crap and waste all our time and energy on things that distract us from our real work. I will leave the department before I start working that way. I don't get paid enough to put up with that. If I was willing to do it, I could make a whole lot more money someplace else.

She is not supposed to be above me in any hierarchy. However, she is a critical support person, and she has the ability to sabotage anything. Also, she wants to be above me, and she makes decisions and issues edicts that are way beyond her authority, and which she is not even close to qualified for. It's like the receptionist telling the doctor what surgery to perform. And if the doctor complains, she can easily sabotage his work simply by scheduling the patient for the wrong operating room or typing up orders incorrectly.

I don't want to engage in some long battle with her. I don't get paid enough, I'm too old, and I'm not willing to stress myself like that. Plus, I'm not sure I can win, no matter what I can prove.

I should probably just transfer. It's a scary thought after all this time, but I don't see much alternative.
If you aren't willing to participate in the betterment of the re-organization (add a new team member or role and you need to re-organize the team) then you know your answer. Leave or transfer.
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Southern California
12,713 posts, read 15,440,625 times
Reputation: 35511
Strength in numbers may work but my experience tells me that if you mess with her at all you will be even more miserable and possibly without a job.
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Old 01-25-2015, 09:05 AM
 
11,558 posts, read 12,010,037 times
Reputation: 17746
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
strength in numbers

4 hyenas will drive away one lioness


write a letter, you all sign it,

it cant be personal opinion, it has to be workplace hostilities, lower productivities,
workplace culture
I agree; but it will never work if the others back down at the last minute. Case in point: as a member of a secretarial pool decades ago, we had a gripe and made a decision to meet with mgmt to air our grievances and offer suggestions for improvement.

The day of the meeting we all showed up; but unfortunately I was the only one who said anything, the rest of them said nothing. In turn, I was the bad guy and written up.

At least though, with a typed/signed document everyone has validated their solidarity.
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