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Right now, I have absolutely no desire to date. I have plans for the next stage of my life and to get where I'm going, I need to focus on my work. I don't miss having to concern myself with what someone else wants or needs, or having someone make demands on my time. Even casual dating would be a hindrance at this point.
But 8 months or a year from now, maybe I'll be interested. I'll certainly be in a better place for it. But maybe I'll be too busy enjoying the area I'm moving to, going out with friends, and doing what I want. We'll see.
Like I said, I've always been focused on my professional goal since I was a kid...I can't see that changing now at 34.
My life goal always revolved around building a good career for myself. I always tried to be a top student, even though I went through a bit of trouble during university because it was a difficult degree (Electrical Engineering) but I managed to finish it with good grades nonetheless.
I went through a few smaller companies until I got a very good job at a major energy multinational 2 years ago. I usually spend 11-12 hours a day at the office and I travel about 3 times a month for a couple of days to monitor our projects. Many colleagues ask me to take their place if they need to leave early (that will happen for Valentine's for sure) and I don't mind at all.
I actually switched positions with a colleague because his second child had just been born and he didn't want to keep travelling that much.
Last night, for example, I had nothing to do. So stayed at the office after everyone left and kept working. The nightguard came around at midnight to remind me I really had to leave (no one allowed past midnight).
However, many of my relatives and even friends (though we rarely meet up these days) always ask me when will I bring my girlfriend around? I got to the place where I want to be in life and don't need anyone or anything else. Why do people assume I would want a girlfriend? Some suggest I join a few clubs to meet people...well, if I wanted to do it, I could have done it already, no need for other people's nosy opinions.
I might miss the times when I had friends available to spend time with me but things change as they couple up and have children and you have to adapt. Apart form that, my job is the reason of my existence and my motivation to get up everyday.
Sorry if this is the wrong section. Has anyone ever been something similar?
Wow, I hope you never get "downsized" from your job. You can, of course, regard your job any way you like, and let it identify you as a person completely, that's your choice. And maybe that perspective will pay off for you in the long run. Or perhaps something will happen ( either in your personal, or your professional life) that changes your current perspective into something maybe a little more balanced between your personal and work lives.
Although I was in the workforce for more than 40 years before I retired from my last full time job ( I still do part-time contract work, but for a small family-run continuing education company, and I do it from home), I never did link my entire identity on my jobs. Perhaps this was because being an employee was only part of it, my roles as wife, mother, chief-cook and bottle washer, family accountant, etc took as much of my time and energy as did going to work every day. Not that this made me not want to do my utmost as an employee, to meet my commitments at the workplace in the best way I could- I felt that a sterling work ethic and the best product or service I could put out is part of my integrity as a person. I still believe that.
The other reasons I personally have felt a balance between work and one's personal life serves an individual better include a realization from my own personal experience that employers/companies look out for their own interests ( often short term profit in lieu of a longer picture of the health of the company), and regard even the best employees as liabilities to be misused, or discarded at the convenience of the company. I was downsized from two jobs over those 40 years, nothing personal, no reflection of my job performance, just in the wrong place at the wrong time and in a tide of people being downsized. Unfortunately, that can happen as a result of impersonal business decisions, and it would be a terrible blow to your ego if your whole identity is invested in your job. I didn't feel that way, although it did bruise my ego even if just a little, but I knew it was them, not me, and I figured it was their loss. And I found other jobs without any problem, and carried on.
In any case, I'm glad that your job is such that it gives you reason to get up and go every day, and I hope it continues to fulfill you as you say it does at this point. I just wanted to point out some of the realities of the work-world, as perhaps some reasons you might want to consider a work-life balance. But perhaps that will come with time. Good luck to you.
Gee. I wouldn't want to live life like that. I stop thinking about work as soon as I leave. Out of sight, out of mind. Your career can't be your life. Just have a job that pays enough money, and succeed in the other areas of your life.
I start thinking about the next day at work as soon as I leave the office. But I travel all over Europe while working as well, which is very good. I love preparing for a business trip.
This is the danger of a single-minded focus on any one thing. It's like people who do not build a life outside their relationship, and when the relationship ends, whether via a breakup or widowhood, they are left with nothing, having cultivated nothing else. Your job may not always be there...it may vanish, or you may become ill or disabled and no longer be able to do it. I don't know how comfortable I'd feel, having neglected to have cultivated anything else in life.
What would you suggest then since I'm already 100% fulfilled by my job?
I "like" my standard office job and people I work with, but I don't feel personally fulfilled or enriched by it. It's something I do for 40 hours a week, but I have other interests outside of work that I'd rather be engaged in. I'm going to a basketball game tonight and would much rather be there than sitting in the office another couple of hours.
There are no UHauls going to the cemetery. I also don't try to get too attached to coworkers, a job, or a company because those situations can change very quickly for any reason or no reason at all.
I "like" my standard office job and people I work with, but I don't feel personally fulfilled or enriched by it. It's something I do for 40 hours a week, but I have other interests outside of work that I'd rather be engaged in. I'm going to a basketball game tonight and would much rather be there than sitting in the office another couple of hours.
There are no UHauls going to the cemetery. I also don't try to get too attached to coworkers, a job, or a company because those situations can change very quickly for any reason or no reason at all.
Well, I admit I'm very attached to my coworkers. They are the people I interact with everyday and we have many company events. Not that we meet out of office (basically all of them have children so no chance).
Well, I admit I'm very attached to my coworkers. They are the people I interact with everyday and we have many company events. Not that we meet out of office (basically all of them have children so no chance).
That must be a blessing. My last workplace had great coworkers, not so great bosses/upper management. Unfortunately, my first workplace had nicer people so I was a bit naive and did not understand that some workplaces may have truly nasty coworkers!
I wonder if it's easier to get along with people at a smaller vs larger company?
I start thinking about the next day at work as soon as I leave the office. But I travel all over Europe while working as well, which is very good. I love preparing for a business trip.
Well if I made work my life, I know I'd have serious depression issues and be going to therapy constantly. Making progress in the other areas of my life is very important to me.
Well if I made work my life, I know I'd have serious depression issues and be going to therapy constantly. Making progress in the other areas of my life is very important to me.
I think the fact that I never had any other expectations apart from doing well professionally helps.
Well if I made work my life, I know I'd have serious depression issues and be going to therapy constantly. Making progress in the other areas of my life is very important to me.
I understand your position...but I love it. I told myself I was going to read a book but I can't turn my professional laptop off. I want to finish what I was doing yesterday when I left work and I don't get paid any more for that. I simply want to.
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