Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As long as you have enough to live off of while searching for a new job. Otherwise you might find yourself broke and homeless before you know it.
Or you might have a nervous breakdown hanging on to the toxic job.
I've quit toxic jobs without having a new job and had no regrets at all. The relief is immense
and all of your focus can be directed towards finding a new job. Good luck to the OP!
A lot of people learn to cope with bad jobs by becoming disengaged. Just show up every day and just don't care. He can yell at you threaten to fire you and you just shrug you shoulders because he has no power over you at all. Just do what you need to do and no more. If you are at the point where you are ready to quit anyways what can he do to you fire you?
Last edited by MSchemist80; 02-09-2015 at 12:02 PM..
Stay with the job for a minimum of one year.
Find a way--- meditation, counseling, change of department, or whatever. But stick with it.
Changing after six months does not leave a good impression.
Not with the employer, not with future employers.
What are you running from, exactly? How do you know you won't find the same issue at the next job?
Our problems tend to follow us.
Six months ? Not good....In future, you will try to leave that job off of your resume.
But the HR person will say, "HMMM, where was she during those six months?"
No, stick it out for a year. so it's a respectable length of time, and can be on a resume.
And saying, "I can live with my parents..." is not adult behavior.
I would have walked away from a job without collecting unemployment, but I stuck it out for the worse. I didn't have the cushion, thus, of unemployment anyway. You CAN and will survive - just a matter of your inner strength and willingness to cut corners. Too many people are dependent upon unemployment and are scared to make sacrifices to get ahead. Sheesh.
All the advice you hear about staying with a job for 1 year, never quit without having another job lined up, etc, means nothing if it affects your health. There are long term effects that will cost you dearly if you let it.
With that being said, welcome to the real world. 99% of people dont like their job or boss. And who's to say the next job isn't the same or worse?
I think the problem in your situation is that you're a newbie. See, you care too much. Once you understand that you shouldn't care so much, work life becomes much easier. Think about it, it's not your company.
Once you realize that the #1 goal at any job is to make as much money as you can, as quickly as you can since you can't account for the future ( i.e. being let go, etc.). Stop caring so much. Some people have this thing called pride at work. I hate to tell you, but that's fake pride. Pride at work is different than pride at school, or sports, or at real accomplishments. reason being is you can better control your fate vs at work where it's a crapshoot.
So my advice, stop caring. The goal at any job is to pay bill, nothing else.
Once you do this, life just got a whole lot easier.
You are taking everything way too personal. I have dealt with bosses like this in the past and it isn't so much them having a personal problem with you as it is that they are badly equipped to deal with their own issues.
Is there really a reason to cry about this everyday on the way home? Think about it, you aren't saving lives... you are pushing paper. You should be laughing about your boss acting a fool.
Just give it your best, don't take everything personal, and do not quit this job without a new offer in hand. It will cost you thousands of dollars. Think about the lost current wages, lower wages at new job, and living expenses while unemployed.
You are taking everything way too personal. I have dealt with bosses like this in the past and it isn't so much them having a personal problem with you as it is that they are badly equipped to deal with their own issues.
Is there really a reason to cry about this everyday on the way home? Think about it, you aren't saving lives... you are pushing paper. You should be laughing about your boss acting a fool.
Just give it your best, don't take everything personal, and do not quit this job without a new offer in hand. It will cost you thousands of dollars. Think about the lost current wages, lower wages at new job, and living expenses while unemployed.
If they are badly equipped to deal with their own issues they shouldn't be bosses at all. Usually it's not even that but the boss's behavior/lack of management training/favoritism. I have a strong feeling her boss was the same as my ex boss who favorited people of her own race (non white race) and was much nicer to them and those who were higher up than her to get ahead but to everyone else beneath her she was a beeetch, yelled, shut out, gave glares, cursed and just acted ghetto when no higher up was about. I think it depends on the employee not everyone can put on a stone heart and act happy when they are being yelled at everyday. If it affects her health and the stress manifests itself physically she will be sick for a very long time. I went through the same thing and if the stress is enough it CAN manifest itself physically. A 30,000 a year job in something she doesn't even want to really do is really going nowhere. It can take months to find that new job she wants but in the meantime it's best for her to go back to school and move back in with parents since she's still young and has their help if she doesn't want to continue pushing paper with a biology degree. Just site a bad fit or personal reasons as the reason to leave.
Last edited by cra2ybeautiful; 02-09-2015 at 01:50 PM..
I had to do that for health reasons. The job was being made unnecessarily stressful by the people who "ran" it. There were 3 things that you had to manage and the third one was totally not necessary to stress people out with very bad management in the form of harassment. The harassment I saw was of the you're-not-doing-your-job-good-enough and a constant nit-picking on everything you did and did not do. Same thing, but you should get my point.
It looked like the longer you worked where I worked, I won't go into details about what or where, and the more you made the more you were going to be harassed and I feel, looking back, that it was all done deliberately because your wage was getting too high after a good number of years.
The company likely just did not want people to stay longer than 5 years because after 5 to 7 years your wage was going to be some of the highest wages paid in the city I worked in for a fairly easy-looking job. But there was definitely more to the work than people would think when they'd see you working.
I remember people working with me who were younger than me by ten years, but had health issues, stressing out and literally dying from the stress. And I remember thinking, well the work is challenging and the stress can be managed by exercise and watching what you ate, but it was like I said.
P-poor management that was really harassment led me to quit after just 8 short years. I did not want to, but my blood pressure had gone up and stayed up. In those 8 years that I was working there, roughly 4 co-workers died while I was there. One of them a supervisor who was one of the "harassers". I did not feel sorry for him when I heard he croaked. The other people I knew did get my sympathy. This might just be pretty much the way it is at all jobs in America now.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,046,216 times
Reputation: 2157
I wouldn't worry about staying six months or a year. Especially if the new job pays a lot more. Actively look for another job. As soon as you find one, give the current guy two weeks notice and leave.
Jumping ship without somewhere to jump to is something I have done a few times but that was because I knew I had somebody who would let me stay with them for a while for free until I got another job. If you think you can be financially secure for several months without income then do it. Otherwise, get the new job first.
I know the general consensus is "Never quit your job without something else lined up~!!!!" But do you guys agree with this?
I've been out of college since May. I have a degree in Biology and I work as an Admin Assistant for a small firm. I've had the job for about half a year and it's awful, it literally makes me feel ill thinking about going to work tomorrow hahaha.
I've applied to a few other jobs but haven't heard anything back yet. My boss is a prick and nags at me all day. He expects me to read his mind, and gets really angry if every little thing isn't perfect. He's completely disrespectful and acts like I owe him my life because he gives me 30k a year. I'm dedicating my life and almost all my time to this place, and the guy yells at me about not cropping a centimeter off a picture.
I've noticed some similarities with this job and an abusive relationship. For example, he'll act like a giant dick and then apologize an hour later because he can tell I'm really upset. On Friday he yelled at me about something completely petty. I actually DID the task he asked me to do, but he's horrible with computers and seemed to miss the point? So he came out and yelled at me, and I finally stood up to him. I explained to him that I -did- what he asked, and I showed him in two easy clicks how petty he was being. This made me really upset - He treated me with such disrespect, like a piece of garbage, even though I had performed the task. I went to the bathroom and cried for a while, hahah. I think they could tell I was crying when I came back, because he came out and apologized to me about an hour later. I was on the verge of tears all afternoon though.
I often cry on the way home because this job sucks so much. I hate working in admin and need to get out of here ASAP. I still owe about 13k on my student loan, but I have some stocks I can sell to pay the thing off. I won't be on the streets if I quit - My parents would let me stay there til I find a new job.
Tl;dr My boss was very nice in the beginning, but now that he's getting to know me he's being a giant ass. I cry a lot and I think about my job nonstop when I get home. I spend most of my free time dreading work, and I want to quit.
Is it really true that it's so much easier to find a new job when you're working? Will employers think I'm lazy or mentally ill if I quit now and have a resume gap? This is my first real job.
I know Biology isn't the best degree, but admin is not my cup of tea and I really want to get out of this! I'm perfectly willing and able to work, but this job is killing my drive to do anything and making me really miserable.
I support a team of about 25 people, and the other guys give me a lot of work. They're all really nice and we get along. The only person I have a problem with is the boss.
Sigh one last question. What the heck should I do about references? I have a few coworkers that seem to really like me, but I don't feel comfortable asking them about this. I'm afraid they'll tell someone, or look poorly on me ... I don't know. The guys are really sweet and I think they'd give me a positive reference, but I'm terrified to ask.
Might it help if you stood up to your boss and refused to take his abuse? Seems to me that in your present state of mind you don't have a lot to lose, and it may well be that he can sense your weakness, your fear and frustration ( which translates to helplessness to bullies) and that makes him worse. The fact that he apologizes to you when it's apparent he's been out of line makes me think maybe it would help things if you were able to stand up to his bullying.
I've had to work with a few bullies over the years ( both co-workers and managers), had to deal with bullying family members, and I've never yet seen a bully who didn't cave when someone stood up to him (or her as the case may be). Even when I thought that last area manager I worked with never would - he was following me around, repeatedly berating and hassling me for no reason, I finally turned around, told him to "BACK OFF"- not what I wanted to say-, and walked out. He never tried it again, in fact, even when there were conflicts he was nice to me. And not surprisingly, because the guy had absolutely no tact and didn't seem to know who he could berate and who he couldn't, he was "asked" by his superiors to resign at a later date.
As for getting another job, it seems to be true that it's easier to do so when you're employed, so I don't think I would just quit cold turkey if I were you. As for the references, I'd get the contact information from your coworkers, they'll do just fine. I've done the same under similar circumstances and it worked just fine.
Best of luck to you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
For example, he'll act like a giant dick and then apologize an hour later because he can tell I'm really upset. On Friday he yelled at me about something completely petty. I actually DID the task he asked me to do, but he's horrible with computers and seemed to miss the point? So he came out and yelled at me, and I finally stood up to him. I explained to him that I -did- what he asked, and I showed him in two easy clicks how petty he was being. This made me really upset - He treated me with such disrespect, like a piece of garbage, even though I had performed the task. I went to the bathroom and cried for a while, hahah. I think they could tell I was crying when I came back, because he came out and apologized to me about an hour later. I was on the verge of tears all afternoon though. 
