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I agree with those saying you should have a conversation with them.
Just tell them you've been a little confused and want to know what their expectations are. "I think I've been a little confused about the expectations, but believe I'm clear now. I'm only expected to make a meal for Bobby, correct?" If they say yes, cook for him. If they say no, they want you to cook for them, then come back with, "That's fine. There's an additional $10 charge a dinner for that. Will that be a problem?"
I just have to ask - why on earth would you think you're entitled to dinner if you're only there a few hours a day??!!! I can see why they're annoyed.
It all depends on your terms of employment. What specifically did they say about you and their dinner? It is NOT always expected that the babysitter will eat with the kids.
1) Bring your own food or eat after you leave. If they have not indicated that YOU should eat, then they expect you not to eat. They apparently expect that food to be for them. Part of the reason they hired you, apparently, is to assist with those difficult after-school and work hours. Since you can tell they are annoyed when you eat, stop eating their food.
2) I don't think she is taking advantage of your good nature. Your employer asked you to do something, so I would do it. In the future, I would do it since you do it most nights anyway.
^^^this^^^
You are being paid to work for them while they are out... if you don't want to cook meals for the family anymore, then prepare to quit or get replaced.
AND... If terms don't indicate that you eat the food they purchase for their family, and you are unsure, then ask, don't assume. I've never hired a sitter where these things were left as unknowns so your situation does seem unusual.
You are being paid to work for them while they are out... if you don't want to cook meals for the family anymore, then prepare to quit or get replaced.
AND... If terms don't indicate that you eat the food they purchase for their family, and you are unsure, then ask, don't assume. I've never hired a sitter where these things were left as unknowns so your situation does seem unusual.
The OP finally revealed later that this is a divorced couple, which does complicate things, especially payment. She's not really cooking for "the family."
Quote:
Originally Posted by rsklmn
I'm not sure what their boundaries are as a divorced couple and that also makes this situation difficult.
OP, who hired you and what did that person say about dinner? Are you always at one house or does it vary?
You will need to be very direct and businesslike or else they WILL take advantage of you, even if it's just because of the confusion about who is in charge.
"I would like to clarify my job duties about xyz..." And go from there.
I live far north where nannies are all live-in temps from overseas, and cooking dinner for everyone is typical. Obviously, it seems inappropriate for a casual young sitter. But if you are a regular childcare giver, scheduled, that is a gray area, isn't it? Clarify with your employer.
To me, it sounds like the parents have forgotten that you're there to care for their child when they can't be there, not to care for the parents. You've put yourself in this situation, but that's not saying that the parents are right in what they ask of you.
Whenever we've hired a babysitter, we would set a box of food out for her to fix ONLY if she was going to be there during a normal meal time. If she wanted some after making sure the kids were fed, that was fine. If she didn't want any because she'd brought her own food or just wasn't hungry, she would always save the leftovers for us. If she wasn't going to be there during a normal meal time for the kids, then we'd just ask her to give the kids a snack and we would take care of the meal when we got home. We have NEVER asked for the babysitter to make a meal for us just because we didn't want to cook.
So maybe make the dinner this time, then when they get home, ask if this is a service they'd like you to start doing, and if so, you'd need an extra $10 a night or whatever. This says you don't mind doing it as long as you get paid for it. Chances are they won't ask you to do it again
That's exactly what I was going to say. They hired you for child care. If they suddenly want child care (which doesn't stop while you're busy cooking them dinner!) AND a personal chef, tell them you'd have to charge more.
I agree with those saying you should have a conversation with them.
Just tell them you've been a little confused and want to know what their expectations are. "I think I've been a little confused about the expectations, but believe I'm clear now. I'm only expected to make a meal for Bobby, correct?" If they say yes, cook for him. If they say no, they want you to cook for them, then come back with, "That's fine. There's an additional $10 charge a dinner for that. Will that be a problem?"
I just have to ask - why on earth would you think you're entitled to dinner if you're only there a few hours a day??!!! I can see why they're annoyed.
You need to clarify this ASAP.
As a babysitter I would never assume that I would be eating with the children unless you are are scheduled well before dinner time and leave well after dinner time. And, even then I would discuss it with the family first. As an example, I often babysit for a couple and drive directly to their house from my full time job. I arrive at 5 PM, fix dinner for the children to eat at 6 PM and babysit until 9 or 10 PM. In that case I need to eat with the children, or I would not get to eat dinner that evening. (but even with that schedule some families may still want you to bring a bag lunch to eat)
However, with your schedule, it sounds like you leave early enough that you could easily eat dinner at your own house.
Frankly, I really doubt if most after school babysitters, who only work three hours a day eat with the children. And, I certainly do not think that most would be expected to "leave a plate" for the parents. I would think that they would only prepare enough food for the child to eat. Or if there was a little extra, put it in a plastic container in the refrigerator.
Do they parents say "Please fix Johnny, chicken, rice and peas for dinner with fruit for dessert" or do you just guess and decide to fix whatever see in the refrigerator?
If they want you to prepare a meal for them I would expect that they should pay you extra or give you more hours. The one exception would be to do something very simple like put a completely prepared casserole or chicken in the oven at a certain time.
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-12-2015 at 03:18 PM..
We have a part-time nanny. She doesn't cook for our son, but warms up pre-made / frozen food. She brings and eats her own food all the time, but doesn't cook for us.
Basically, I think nanny & cook are 2 different jobs and you should be paid accordingly. I don't know how to bring this up after the fact.
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