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I babysit a 9 yr old boy 3 afternoons a week. As a rule, the family is nice and his parents are polite, friendly and treat me fairly. But lately some uncomfortable situations have arisen with regards to food.
1. I usually prepare his dinner from scratch (not just stovetop mac and cheese or heating up frozen foods) and usually leave the leftovers for his parents (I make them each a plate). Often, there isn't enough left for me or a only a small portion. If I do eat and there isn't enough left for everyone they seem annoyed. I feel bad, but in general, isn't it expected that the babysitter will eat with children? I do not eat touch anything in the pantry/fridge otherwise.
2. Last night the boy's mother asked me to set up dinner for them even though I'll only be babysitting for about 2.5 hours and won't be eating with them. I agreed but I think in the future I'd rather not do that as I think that is taking advantage of my good nature. How do I refuse next time?
I babysit a 9 yr old boy 3 afternoons a week. As a rule, the family is nice and his parents are polite, friendly and treat me fairly. But lately some uncomfortable situations have arisen with regards to food.
1. I usually prepare his dinner from scratch (not just stovetop mac and cheese or heating up frozen foods) and usually leave the leftovers for his parents (I make them each a plate). Often, there isn't enough left for me or a only a small portion. If I do eat and there isn't enough left for everyone they seem annoyed. I feel bad, but in general, isn't it expected that the babysitter will eat with children? I do not eat touch anything in the pantry/fridge otherwise.
2. Last night the boy's mother asked me to set up dinner for them even though I'll only be babysitting for about 2.5 hours and won't be eating with them. I agreed but I think in the future I'd rather not do that as I think that is taking advantage of my good nature. How do I refuse next time?
It all depends on your terms of employment. What specifically did they say about you and their dinner? It is NOT always expected that the babysitter will eat with the kids.
1) Bring your own food or eat after you leave. If they have not indicated that YOU should eat, then they expect you not to eat. They apparently expect that food to be for them. Part of the reason they hired you, apparently, is to assist with those difficult after-school and work hours. Since you can tell they are annoyed when you eat, stop eating their food.
2) I don't think she is taking advantage of your good nature? Your employer asked you to do something, so I would do it. In the future, I would do it since you do it most nights anyway.
I work ~10 hours per week and my main responsibilities are to pick him up and take him home 3 afternoons/week and make sure he has snack, does hw, and feed HIM dinner (not his parents). I'm 25 years old and this is one of the 3 part time jobs that I do while saving money for grad school.
I work ~10 hours per week and my main responsibilities are to pick him up and take him home 3 afternoons/week and make sure he has snack, does hw, and feed HIM dinner (not his parents). I'm 25 years old and this is one of the 3 part time jobs that I do while saving money for grad school.
Unless they specifically say, "You are welcome to eat also," I would not eat.
I would never expect a babysitter to set up dinner for me & my husband. And yes, by all means, I would want you to feel comfortable and eat whatever you want in the house! I might be paying you, but you are taking care of my kid(s) and yes, you should eat with them!
I think they are taking advantage of you. I'd nip that in the bud quickly.
When I was hired, it was made clear that I would make dinner for my charge, but not the parents. I was also told to help myself to anything, however, as I mentioned earlier, I only eat whatever I make (and as per my own rule I do not eat any other things in the house). I was NOT told to leave leftovers. I do that as a courtesy! In fact I make plates for the parents and cover them with foil. I could just dump the leftovers in a container or leave the food in pots but I clean the pots and set up food for them.
The previous babysitter told me that she would occasionally leave food for the father (but not always). The parents are divorced but 95% of the time the babysitting happens at dad's house. But the mother often works from the fathers house (strangely enough) and sometimes seems upset if there isn't food for her. I'm not sure what their boundaries are as a divorced couple and that also makes this situation difficult.
I also think that to ask for me to cook for what is basically a pickup/dropoff (2 hrs of care) is unreasonable because already I go above and beyond my responsibilities. I am there to watch him, not cook.
I should also mention that the mother has forgotten to pay me for her day this week and I won't see her until next Wednesday. They depend on me to be there for their soon and I depend on them to get paid for my time, on time!
I would never expect a babysitter to set up dinner for me & my husband. And yes, by all means, I would want you to feel comfortable and eat whatever you want in the house! I might be paying you, but you are taking care of my kid(s) and yes, you should eat with them!
I think they are taking advantage of you. I'd nip that in the bud quickly.
How should I tactfully say no to this? Or just gradually stop being so nice? lol.
When I was hired, it was made clear that I would make dinner for my charge, but not the parents. I was also told to help myself to anything, however, as I mentioned earlier, I only eat whatever I make (and as per my own rule I do not eat any other things in the house). I was NOT told to leave leftovers. I do that as a courtesy! In fact I make plates for the parents and cover them with foil. I could just dump the leftovers in a container or leave the food in pots but I clean the pots and set up food for them.
The previous babysitter told me that she would occasionally leave food for the father (but not always). The parents are divorced but 95% of the time the babysitting happens at dad's house. But the mother often works from the fathers house (strangely enough) and sometimes seems upset if there isn't food for her. I'm not sure what their boundaries are as a divorced couple and that also makes this situation difficult.
I also think that to ask for me to cook for what is basically a pickup/dropoff (2 hrs of care) is unreasonable because already I go above and beyond my responsibilities. I am there to watch him, not cook.
I should also mention that the mother has forgotten to pay me for her day this week and I won't see her until next Wednesday. They depend on me to be there for their soon and I depend on them to get paid for my time, on time!
All of this would have been helpful in the OP.
Just tell them what you told us and see how it goes.
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