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Look up: Emerging adulthood. It's a new thing. Older people need to realize this. It's getting a bit tiring hearing all these older people saying, "Why are you 32 and living at home?"
Emerging adulthood is a phrase coined by Dr. Jeffrey Arnett. He terms it as ages 18 to mid-twenties. Our OP is 28, which is LATE twenties. A thirty-two-year-old is a full-blown adult ... an adult who is doing something wrong if s/he is still living at home with Mom due to an inability to earn a living. As of 2014, American life expectancy for females is 81.2 years; for males, it's 76.4 years. That would make middle age about 41 for women and about 38 for men. So some Americans are "emerging" at 32 and middle-aged six years later? That's a pretty short sweet spot. By the time you're mature enough to work you're already too old for employers to hire?
Emerging adulthood is a phrase coined by Dr. Jeffrey Arnett. He terms it as ages 18 to mid-twenties. Our OP is 28, which is LATE twenties. A thirty-two-year-old is a full-blown adult ... an adult who is doing something wrong if s/he is still living at home with Mom due to an inability to earn a living. As of 2014, American life expectancy for females is 81.2 years; for males, it's 76.4 years. That would make middle age about 41 for women and about 38 for men. So some Americans are "emerging" at 32 and middle-aged six years later? That's a pretty short sweet spot. By the time you're mature enough to work you're already too old for employers to hire?
Well, I agree it's a bit late but it's something I'm seeing a lot more. He just focuses on those ages, but it can happen later than 25. It's just rougher out there for "emerging adults" and someone finally realized that there's a new phenomena that's coming from it.
How can I move out when I have no money and no job and no place to live?
WHAT did you do with the money you earned at the previous jobs you DID have?
WHY {have you ever asked?} doesn't mother approve of those hours? is it that she drives you and doesn't want to be "inconvenienced?
For now, DO as mother says, get a job at wherever, SAVE EVERY PENNY and get your own place ASAP! FIND a room to rent somewhere, they are fairly cheap to get into!
GET A BICYCLE and Bike to work!
Get a job you can walk to!
MOW LAWNS in your neighborhood for extra money or shovel snow!
Mother is a Controlling *person* in your life, but you should be OUT ON YOUR OWN BY NOW!
Seriously...my folks got married in 1944, when she was 19 and he was 22. They did it for one reason only: to each get out of their respective houses and away from their families.
The marriage lasted 10 years, when my dad died from an unusual ailment. Otherwise, it would have lasted.
Look up: Emerging adulthood. It's a new thing. Older people need to realize this. It's getting a bit tiring hearing all these older people saying, "Why are you 32 and living at home?"
It's a new thing that is pathetic and it needs to stop. Like I said before, there are way too many adult infants nowadays. Helicopter parents need to get lives of their own that don't revolve around their children and realize that they should become independent adults at the age of 18. It's called growing up.
OP, I'm sure you realize that that you need to get a job and out of your parent's home. My suggestion is to get certified in a medical health record system so that you can work and support yourself decently (in Madison, WI). One of the most popular is EPIC. They will certify you to be an epic developer. My mom went to NB for a few weeks, in a hotel that they paid for, and they gave her a rental car to go to and from the hospital.
Get a job
Save up (At least 3 months expenses)
Move out
Start therapy
Quote:
Originally Posted by statisticsnerd
Why are there so many adult infants nowadays? I'd tell my mother to f*** off if she had told me not to get a job so I could move out and grow up like a normal person. You should have cut your crazy mother loose a decade ago. What have you been doing for 10 years?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wonderingaboutstuff
I would revise this thought to add, "why are you still living with someone who is this controlling at age 28?
This woman seems to have some odd ideas about things and doesn't seem to have your best interests at heart.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaseMan
Why are you still living with your mom at age 28?
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person
It sounds like because her mother won't allow her to get a job.
Ugh, you guys don't get it. This is what happens when you helicopter parent. As a 20 year-old who is slowly cutting her own umbilical cord, I know that if I listen to my parents I will end up just like the OP. I have end our relationship, but I have to do it slowly.
Being raised by a helicopter parent is like being in an abusive relationship. You love this person, but they control every aspect of your life and you feel horrible and get berated when you don't listen to them. Children of helicopter parents are constantly criticized for every little thing (grades, choice of friends, etc.).
As a kid, I was only allowed to ask 10 questions a day. Heck, if I spend too long in the bathroom my mom will walk right in! If I made a 90% on a test, my mom would say, "If you studied harder, you would've made 100%" instead of a simple, "Good job, Pinkmani!".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nor'Eastah
Oh, go get married.
Seriously...my folks got married in 1944, when she was 19 and he was 22. They did it for one reason only: to each get out of their respective houses and away from their families.
The marriage lasted 10 years, when my dad died from an unusual ailment. Otherwise, it would have lasted.
WHATEVER YOU DO, OP, DO NOT RUN OFF AND GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU'RE EMOTIONALLY STABLE ENOUGH TO DO SO!
And what good guy would marry a woman that has issues with making decisions for herself? Entering a relationship at this point in her life will mean she probably mean she will end up with an abusive guy. She's too vulnerable.
And now that I have my driver's license she won't even let me drive, due to no insurance and won't let me use the car either.
WTF?
Won't let you drive because you don't have insurance = she is stopping you from committing a crime. You have to get insurance before you drive.
Won't let you use the car... how is that different than not letting you drive?
Why didn't you have your own car?
Either live in a city and take a bus until you can save up enough for your own car or live in the city and take a bus without saving up for your own car. In short, move somewhere with a bus and get used to riding it. How are you this helpless at 28?
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It's getting a bit tiring hearing all these older people saying, "Why are you 32 and living at home?"
