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Why not encourage your children to reach for the stars in their chosen profession ... and respect those choices regardless of how they are different from your own? Parenting as a dictatorship could result in some rather problematic teenage years.
I see an OP who will have adult sons never talking to him again up the road, and they will have made the correct decision. His MO conceals IMO his real reason not to be willing to invest in them..selfishness. Like thousands of other kids, they are being abused. They deserved better parents.
That's nice and all but what really matters is what your children want. Raise them to keep learning and make smart decisions; then trust them to do so. It might be the smart decision is one that you don't agree with, but at least you'll support them as you have faith in them.
OP all you want is for them to validate your choices. That makes you weak, as you cannot tolerate the concept of others being different from you. You are insecure.
[Snip.] I'm just wondering if not encouraging my kids to do the college thing makes me a bad dad
No, it doesn't make you a bad dad to not encourage your kids to go to college. However, it would make you a bad dad if you discouraged your kids to go to college.
OP all you want is for them to validate your choices. That makes you weak, as you cannot tolerate the concept of others being different from you. You are insecure.
No but I had kids so that when I'm long gone a reflection of me will be there. If they go against everything I believe in they would've been a waste of all the time and money I spent raising them
I make a good living in a blue collar field. Got my GED at 17 and got a trade certificate. Have worked for myself, big companies, small companies and now will be managing a construction crew.
I have twin boys in grade school, and to be honest I would be a little bummed if they went into an office job or anything academic besides maybe a physician. I know that accountants and such are needed, but for some reason I just think in the grand scheme of things, jobs where you sit at a desk and play with numbers and where a tie are less repectable than people who actually use their physical skills. When your build something you're actually creating something tangible. I would encourage my kids to not go to college and instead do a trade, go work in a factory etc. I think those kind of things are much more valuable skills and I would honestly feel like a failure if all my son wanted to be was "Max Jr. MBA" who wears a suit and writes memos and uses linkedIn. Me and my wife discussed it, and unless the boys are gonna go for pre-med/nursing or something like construction mgmt..college doesn't get paid for and no loans get cosigned. Of course they can do what they want, but I don't want to pay for something that I don't really respect. I would be happier if they did like me and went for the GED and then trade school and then I would support them financially until they were able to take care of themselves, and would even probably be able to get them jobs. I want to raise men who have useful skills, not little employees for the dilbert life.
Had this discussion around my sister (who went to school for a boring pencil pusher degree and is now gonna be living in Chicago doing the 9-5 and going to just be another face in rush hour crowds instead of someone with a skill) and she said that me and my wife are messed up for feeling that way. What is your opinion?
I'm glad that you make a good living. Most parents aspire to somewhat more than they have achieved for their children, though.
I really know of no parents - or students who aspire to obtain a GED. It's what someone gets when they drop out of - or otherwise screw up in HS.
Please consider encouraging your sons to do their very best in high school and to at the very least take two years of a liberal arts curriculum at a community college.
It is there that they can find out if they excel in math and science and if becoming an MD is even and option, OR if some other subject interests them.
If no academic subject is of interest, perhaps one or both of them might join you in your blue collar trade. Or perhaps he may want to continue on towards his bachelors degree.
Please do your sons a favor - let them discover their own talents and ambitions.
I'm glad that you make a good living. Most parents aspire to somewhat more than they have achieved for their children, though.
I really know of no parents - or students who aspire to obtain a GED. It's what someone gets when they drop out of - or otherwise screw up in HS.
Please consider encouraging your sons to do their very best in high school and to at the very least take two years of a liberal arts curriculum at a community college.
It is there that they can find out if they excel in math and science and if becoming an MD is even and option, OR if some other subject interests them.
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If no academic subject is of interest, perhaps one or both of them might join you in your blue collar trade. Or perhaps he may want to continue on towards his bachelors degree.
Please do your sons a favor - let them discover their own talents and ambitions.
I aspire for my boys to grow up and be men. Callr an anti intellectual or whatever and that's fine but I think pointless knowledge is just that, pointless. I don't know what liberal arts is but if it's phooey like art history, philosophy, religion, literaturr, French language etc it's very feminine and pointless for two good irish boys like my sons.
They can become cops, firemen, doctors, tradesmen or if they really must one of them can be a priest.
If they do an intellectual thing I can't stop them but I will be heartbroken and I wouldn't be able to look at them. I had kids to raise men and ladies, not nerds who can't do anything physical
I aspire for my boys to grow up and be men. Callr an anti intellectual or whatever and that's fine but I think pointless knowledge is just that, pointless.
I couldn't agree more about pointless knowledge. But we're discussing college here, not pointless knowledge. They don't relate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxFromPhilly
I don't know what liberal arts is but if it's phooey like art history, philosophy, religion, literaturr, French language etc it's very feminine and pointless for two good irish boys like my sons.
They can become cops, firemen, doctors, tradesmen or if they really must one of them can be a priest.
You do realize that most of those jobs requires significant use of liberal arts, right? A doctor is required to study liberal arts heavily. Perhaps a fireman doesn't use liberal arts singificantly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxFromPhilly
If they do an intellectual thing I can't stop them but I will be heartbroken and I wouldn't be able to look at them. I had kids to raise men and ladies, not nerds who can't do anything physical
If you're going to raise your children so poorly that they won't be able to do anything physical, that's on you as a parent. It has nothing to do with going to college.
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