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I love what I do and the company I work for. But one of my coworkers is a off-putting at times and I am unsure of the correct way to approach it. I want to say right off the bat that I am not creating a thread to bash anyone and/or gossip so I would appreciate if you do not have anything to add, then please do not post. This particular woman is very skilled at what she does, I am just looking to brainstorm a bit.
We are a small team consisting of 5 or 6 people.
I always knows when this particular person has less to do or she is lonely because she comes and hangs out in our office alot (I share an office with a coworker). Although she is asking work-related questions, it feels as though some of them are not terribly important and she will linger for longer than necessary. She has a very loud voice, so when she is there, I cannot get anything done. I cannot make phone calls, think, or even respond to emails because it is like hearing someone yelling and right next to you, and her laugh is the same. I can even hear her through my headphones unless I turn up the volume all the way. She currently has allergies so she hacks lougies and then swallows them loudly. I sit near the door and when she speaks to me, she likes to lean over my desk and have her face directly in mine and tell me I smell like cotton candy and other things that are delicious lol. For a while she wanted to keep trying to touch me-tell me great job and put her hand on my back and rub it, and I believe she noticed I would move away so she stopped.
I want to hear some opinions on what would be the best way to approach this situation?
I want to approach this as respectfully and tactfully as I can. I have not brought this up to my superiors at work because I am just unsure what the first steps would be with this, or even if approaching superiors would be necessary. Maybe I just need to speak to her in private, but do not want to offend her or hurt her feelings.
Lougies, back rubs and irritating laughter? Yikes!
Sounds like quite an assault on the senses. No wonder you have a hard time getting anything done when she's around.
Are you close with your office mate? If so, I would talk to him/her about it and come up with a plan together. They may be feeling the same way as you and relieved when you bring it up. I don't consider this gossip if you bring it up with them as it's clearly an issue affecting you work flow and you're trying to find a solution to the disruptions.
Lougies, back rubs and irritating laughter? Yikes!
Sounds like quite an assault on the senses. No wonder you have a hard time getting anything done when she's around.
Are you close with your office mate? If so, I would talk to him/her about it and come up with a plan together. They may be feeling the same way as you and received when you bring it up. I don't consider this gossip if you bring it up with them as it's clearly an issue affecting you work flow and you're trying to find a solution to the disruptions.
I am not particularly close to my office mate. We share the office and occasionally chat, but he and I just focus on our work. So I am afraid bringing this up to him may appear as though I am picking fights, and would not want to appear as though I am placing him in the middle.
I am not sure if this detail helps but she is middle age-about 50. I figured age should not really matter, but perhaps that information may help somehow.
I think body language, and some choice words, if you haven't tried that, can often help. You answer her question, then you get back to work. You don't make eye contact, you keep your eyes on your work and act like she's not there. If she continues talking, ignore her. If she addresses you, remain busy, then after a moment look up and say, "I'm sorry, did you say something to me?" Once she feels tuned out she'll find another place to go to get attention. Until that happens you'll have to put up with her disgusting habits, however.
If she gets in your face, I'd roll back in my chair and laughingly say, 'Wow, give a person some space, will ya?" Same thing with rubbing my back. I'd pull away and say, "I'm sorry, but I'm trying to work and touching someone isn't professional."
This way you're not confronting her, which can seem combative, but you're addressing the things she does as she does them.
If she lingers and you want to get back to work, just say "Sorry, I have to get this done and can't chat at the moment". Then turn and start working. Any half sane person will walk away. If you keep doing that her visits should decrease and you won't have to have a confrontation.
I think body language, and some choice words, if you haven't tried that, can often help. You answer her question, then you get back to work. You don't make eye contact, you keep your eyes on your work and act like she's not there. If she continues talking, ignore her. If she addresses you, remain busy, then after a moment look up and say, "I'm sorry, did you say something to me?" Once she feels tuned out she'll find another place to go to get attention. Until that happens you'll have to put up with her disgusting habits, however.
If she gets in your face, I'd roll back in my chair and laughingly say, 'Wow, give a person some space, will ya?" Same thing with rubbing my back. I'd pull away and say, "I'm sorry, but I'm trying to work and touching someone isn't professional."
This way you're not confronting her, which can seem combative, but you're addressing the things she does as she does them.
Part of the issue is, I have done these things, but now she comes and visits my coworker with a bunch of questions. This is why she keeps lingering.
But yeah, when she gets too close I will jokingly tell her to give me some space.
I appreciate you all understanding I do not want to confront her, because sometimes we need to collaborate with her and do not want her to feel like she is not liked.
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