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Please don't be so naive. There is an old saying "all's fair in love and war", this is used in all types of situations, including work environments. Co-workers are NOT family, they work with you during your shift, complain about you behind your back as well as others, tattle to the boss then go home to their own families and problems.
I understand the need, though, to have a friend to commiserate with about the job and/or anything having to do with the job. I would try to find ONE coworker who I felt good about, trusted, and befriended. Then we would "vent" ONLY to each other, verbally "back in the day". And that is how I advise anyone to do it in today's environment. Put NOTHING in writing, NOTHING.
For what it's worth. Pretty much most families I know also live with you during the day, complain about you when you're not around, and create some even worse problems then one could imagine. If anything, co-workers are exactly like family in many cases unless you completely alienate yourself from them.
That being said, I think the trick is to find the fine line in the middle of being an open book or being a completely closed loner. I have seen far too many promotions and career advancements happen to people simply because they got on good buddy buddy terms with a manager or executive. Business is about connections, not performance. Make a good friend with your co-workers and your reviews are more likely to be positive, and you will more and more promotions easily falling in your lap. People remember you easier. "That's the guy that goes to the gym with me!" or "That guy tells the funniest jokes at lunch". On the same page, people will backstab you and be complete *******s, so there really is that fine line in being careful about just how much you divulge and how close you get.
Take the opposite, being more serious and just keeping things to small talk. People tend to think you are too closed up, have no personality, they don't remember you. You're just a background object. It doesn't matter if you have the best performance in the group, that's often irrelevant to how your peers and even direct supervisors view you. We live in a whistle blowing and social world. The trick is to just not get too zealous with it. :P
EDIT: As an introvert, I have always struggled being the "forgotten one" passed up for promotions/advancements despite excellent performance. I have made great pains to be more extraverted and outgoing, and yes, sometimes it gets me in hot water because people will be *******s, but it also has led to much more career success and advancement for me.
Ya I can see that happening. I work for a medium-sized company and in a way, it does feel like a family. At least a couple of my co-workers are quite open with certain things on the list. We do invite each other on some outside office dinner and drinks, so ya, in a way, we are sorta like family.
I have a couple of colleagues in which I know their complete relationship background and at the same time, they know my current relationship status, something I don't even share on facebook lol. They are such a family in a way that when my SO was flying in, they all mandated to have dinner with him with. It was nice
It's only the three of us though, because we're all in the same team and knows of the daily struggle that no one else in the company can possibly understand lol.
In general, I avoid close relationships in my office. I have casual relationships with those in other divisions, but I try not to talk much about work: we exercise together, so most of our discussions are related to sports, diet, cooking, nothing really personal that could come back and bite me. I'm also careful to avoid to change the subject when it turns to gossip.
The people I share highly personal things with aren't in my field.
This is the best I can do to be chatty without exposing myself to potential problems. I used to be closer to co-workers at other jobs, but I've since decided that it's too risky in today's climate where drama queens get promoted: reminds me of high school, sometimes.
I agree with this list. I do my best to share only a little bit of information at work, but try to keep many aspects of myself a mystery. I do not share my health information or what I am going to the doctor for. It's really none of their business and they do not ask. But I do mention if I am sick (because they should know why I will not be in the office lol). But that is as far as I take it.
Do not share information that may turn you into a target. Coworkers are not your friends. You can be friendly, and may even share some laughs, but at the end of the day it is business. I do my best to keep my work life and personal life as separate as possible.
re: Health info and who gets to know it - I had a lump on my neck and when my son noticed it, (I didn't), he was alarmed and insisted I see the doctor. When I saw my PCP, he sent me to a surgeon, and there was no good news. It had to come out and it was twined around a facial nerve. It could have had serious repercussions. So I did what I was supposed to do - I went to my immediate supervisor and told her I needed time off for surgery. She wouldn't approve it without a doctor's note, which the surgeon promptly supplied. (Do people actually l
LSS: On my return to work, there was a card on my desk with cash in it and signed by the employees, hoping that my surgery went well. Turns out, "supervisor" had wasted no time in telling the staff that I had to have surgery on a tumor. So much for sharing anything with anybody if you want confidentiality.
When I confronted Miss Blabby, she said, "Well, they had to know you wouldn't be here, right?" I advised her that simply stating that I needed time off for a personal matter would have been sufficient and that as the boss, she had a duty to respect my confidence. She didn't see that she did anything wrong.
I agree with this list. While I am sure quite a few out there have no qualms about discussing these things at work, I never talk about these sort of things. Maybe in terms of current events I have no problems discussing what happened, but I never discuss my political views and all. I never discuss salary either (which someone on this forum thought nothing wrong about that). I like to keep to myself and just engage in harmless banter about sports or movies and things of that sort.
I've met lifelong friends at my previous jobs---people I have invited to my wedding and still see to this day. I've never been in a workplace where these rules haven't been violated.
(1) Negative feelings---I think everyone at my jobs gripes. Everyone. But posting online or about specific people? Yikes, no.
(2) Controversial Opinions---This one bothers me because I've had SO many religious people bring up God and ask me if I believe, tell me it's okay as long as I believe, etc. I hate that.
(3) Health Issues. Most people share. But at my job you're pretty much protected by the union so it doesn't matter---there are people always on leave. They just collected money for this woman for a baby shower because she has no family in this country and they just collected money to buy this woman a gift because she has cancer right now. I think it is one thing to say, "Yes, you can let people know," or let people know on your own---no one should be blabbing. I'm also in health care so health issues are understood and do not put people in a negative light.
(4) Relationship/Family Issues---Again, most people seem to share. But I do agree that there is oversharing and you can't come in spewing drama all of the time.
(5) Money---I've worked at places where we make the same, have known salaries (public), etc.
I will say that I do not work in an uber-competitive environment and we all need to work with each other. Peoples' jobs are protected (unless you really screw up or are a horrible person to work with) so you can't really screw people over.
I think everyone complains to some degree about their jobs to coworkers. It's healthy for people to let off some steam, but talking about social media is stupid.
Status:
"In the words of Steve Winwood, Roll With It!"
(set 28 days ago)
Location: State of the closed-minded
296 posts, read 217,507 times
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In some companies/work environments, even sharing your birth date could be a mistake---others, possibly those with power or authority could use it as a tool for manipulation.
As others have wisely said, we are there to work!
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And Every Thing Else:
I am there to work. 
