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Have you confronted your boss? Not in an aggressive way, but more asking her expectations.
"I hear what you are saying. I want to make sure I am abiding by the rules. I had requested this doctors appointment off a month ago and put it on the calendar. The day of my closing I worked over six hours and it was on the calendar. We had discussed it. I hate these two appointments ended up being so close on my calendar. What would you suggest?" Put it back on her, but nicely.
Unfortunately, I've done this many times. I think its just her personality to act one way to your face and then go home and send a passive-aggressive email to you. There was one time her and I had a check-in and she told me I was doing great. That night, after I left work, she sent me an email saying she felt like she hadn't elaborated on my work in our meeting and went on about how she felt like I hadn't done this or that, basically an email telling me I sucked at my job. I couldn't believe she did that. I'm pretty sure those feelings didn't surface after our check-in, so why couldn't she have said that to me in our meeting? So the next day I asked to speak with her and I (politely and professionally, of course) told her that I was really confused by her email since our face-to-face conversation was the complete opposite and that I would have liked if she would have told me that during our check-in because her email made me feel like I did a horrible job, which wasn't true. And of course, like clock work, she told me that she didn't mean it like that and that she sees herself in me and that if it were her and she received that email, she would have taken that as motivation.
I didn't say anything to her about these past appointments because what do I say? I've repeatedly double-checked and confirmed our office policies and procedures to make sure I'm following them, but then she always finds a way to try and twist and manipulate it to make it look like I'm wrong.
I'm sure I'll get in trouble later this week because she asked me to help out a co-worker, which literally takes up my only free time to get work done tomorrow, since I'll be in offsite meetings the rest of the day. I'm sure I'll get some kind of email from her about not completing my work, even though she set it up so I don't have time.
The job had interviewed for reached back out to me early last week to schedule another interview to meet with her and the medical director. She had asked about Friday AM, but given the fact that I had just received the email telling me I needed to limit my doctor's appointments or any other adult responsibilities that needed to be taken care of, I decided I would reschedule for this week and just use a sick day to do so.
The only available time was yesterday. Early Tuesday morning, I texted my boss to tell her I wasn't feeling well and was going to use a sick day. My thought process was that it made sense to just call out than to deal with trying to leave the office for the interview and have her send me a rude, passive-aggressive email. After all, in the year a couple months I've worked here, I've never called out sick. Her response was "Ok. Hope you feel better!". Even though that was a nice response, I knew there would be something else in the works to ruin that.
I came into work today and remembered myself and a couple girls I work with had a luncheon event to go to. It was work related and approved by my boss. We leave at 11 am and return at 1:30 pm. When I got back, I had an email from my boss, forwarding me an email regarding errors on the website (none that were my fault) and that my co-worker (her minion and suck-up) had "so kindly" taken care of them, and copied my co-worker on it.
REALLY?! I mean, really?! Over the time I've been employed here, I have covered for this specific co-worker when she was unexpectedly out of the office for whatever reason. In fact, that was one specific time she was unexpectedly out for an entire week and I did A LOT of her work, in addition to mine. It was another passive-aggressive, inappropriate and uncalled for email that made me feel like I was making the right decision. Plus, I found out right before the luncheon that I got the job.
It just amazes me that she thinks she is a good supervisor. If she has such a problem with us leaving, especially for a work-related event that SHE approved, then SAY it!!! Don't send rude, unnecessary emails. Especially ones where she copies my co-worker on it. Just uncalled for!
Op...I think your boss is simply jealous of you. It is never going to be something blatant that you can deal with head on...It will always be these passive aggressive emails and such.
I'm not sure if you took a different position by now....But, if you are still in this job, I would write an email to her immediately following your weekly meetings reiterating what was discussed and send yourself a copy. Maybe you could ask that she reply with any corrections or clarifications of what was discussed. That will be your safety net if her demanding and changing things is ever something that you have to defend your job against with a higher up. Keep track of these for future reference.
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