Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
For all the managers/directors who need a little guidance...
Follow this recipe:
Don’t define the responsibilities for the role or for the roles on your team. Make sure you keep responsibilities vague and don’t put anything in writing.
Don’t communicate expectations with the employee.
Don’t help integrate your new employee into the company. Don’t take them around and introduce them to people. When other colleagues stop by your cube, don’t introduce them to the new person on your team.
Don’t give your new employee anything to do for the first week or two. Let them marinate in their cubicle.
When you do assign the first task, make sure it’s something administrative like taking the meeting notes or setting up a meeting.
Don’t check-in to see how your new employee is doing and if they’re off to a good start; make them manage you!
Assume your new employee knows everything at all times in your company: products, people, processes, systems, resources, and don’t bring them up-to-speed, even when they ask. Just shrug your shoulders.
Don’t meet regularly with your new employee or provide any guidance or feedback whatsoever; let them wonder what’s going on.
Ignore your new employee when they tell you they want to “add value” and be a contributor. Don't see this as a signal your employee wants to do work and... you know, contribute.
Be unobservant and/or lackadaisical in noticing your other tenured subordinate employee is freezing out the brand new employee, while hoarding the one and only project in your new group.
Let your subordinates tell you what to do; don't try and learn how to manage or direct people.
Stir, let sit for many hours or even days, bake at 450 degrees. Congratulations on your new flattened employee souffle.
Also,
Whisper and gossip with all of your subordinates in surrounding cubicles, but exclude the new employee. Then at their review tell them they need to be more engaging and social.
I don't think people realizes that most companies med-large are structured so that workers will fail.
The idea of hiring and keeping workers working no longer exist. You are hired to perform xyz, in which most people do their jobs for a certain duration with good productivity. Then productivity will taper off and most companies feels today they are more leveraged to fire & hire then to retrain and keep staff.
It's rinse and repeat for companies to keep burning new wood.
Look at companies that don't fire workers like the Post Office and Govt agencies.
Look at your new employee like they're crazy when they ask questions about the process, and if the Finance Department is utilized to help build ROI and biz cases. Afterall, your employee should intuitively know all the answers and their questions only show how incapable they are.
I have experienced and seen in real life what the OP listed. I laughed though since I am removed from those days. I would probably be crying if I was still doing that stuff.
One day I was complaining to myself that my managers were in too many meetings and weren't really "managing" myself or the team so I got a bright idea to schedule a meeting to discuss things with my manager. This helped me a lot so I always tried to have regular touchpoints with my managers. If anything they keep you on their "radar" and you aren't left twisting in the wind too much.
I found an informal mentor, and today I met with her. She's a couple levels up in management, very highly regarded and known by most in the company. That was a good start and from her I got a few other names of people to meet with. I'm creating a training plan for myself (proactive!) and reaching out (proactive yet again!) and giving myself tasks to do to help get up to speed and learn from those around me. Knowledge and sharing of knowledge will not come from within my little group, but there are other sources and I am seeking those out.
My new mentor said some things that gave me a hint about my manager -- specifically that he doesn't have the right personality for managing people. Since that's what I had suspected, I won't expect my manager to do what he simply isn't equipped or wired to do. Good thing I'm proactive, self-managing, and am willing & able to seek out the knowledge I need.
For all the managers/directors who need a little guidance...
Follow this recipe:
Don’t define the responsibilities for the role or for the roles on your team. Make sure you keep responsibilities vague and don’t put anything in writing.
Don’t communicate expectations with the employee.
Don’t help integrate your new employee into the company. Don’t take them around and introduce them to people. When other colleagues stop by your cube, don’t introduce them to the new person on your team.
Don’t give your new employee anything to do for the first week or two. Let them marinate in their cubicle.
When you do assign the first task, make sure it’s something administrative like taking the meeting notes or setting up a meeting.
Don’t check-in to see how your new employee is doing and if they’re off to a good start; make them manage you!
Assume your new employee knows everything at all times in your company: products, people, processes, systems, resources, and don’t bring them up-to-speed, even when they ask. Just shrug your shoulders.
Don’t meet regularly with your new employee or provide any guidance or feedback whatsoever; let them wonder what’s going on.
Ignore your new employee when they tell you they want to “add value” and be a contributor. Don't see this as a signal your employee wants to do work and... you know, contribute.
Be unobservant and/or lackadaisical in noticing your other tenured subordinate employee is freezing out the brand new employee, while hoarding the one and only project in your new group.
Let your subordinates tell you what to do; don't try and learn how to manage or direct people.
Stir, let sit for many hours or even days, bake at 450 degrees. Congratulations on your new flattened employee souffle.
It is so refreshing to find a kindred spirit, you must have been my replacement at my last job.
I have had this happen to me a couple of times and it never ends well. It is a big risk now a days to take a new position, just never know what you are getting yourself into, and you are putting your income a risk with these people that have no business managing anyone.
On interviews I ALWAYS ask, "what is your on boarding process?" If I get blank stares, then I know this organization is bad news.
Now, I have worked at some amazing organizations, with managers that want to manage and see you succeed in your new role, but unfortunetly, it is becoming a rare event.
It is just a sad and frustrating situation.
Hang in there and start shopping your resume, organizations like this are horrible places to work.
* After 6 to 9 months, the boss finally calls a meeting with you, and includes HR, were they let you know you are just not a "good fit" for their organization and you are being released during the probation period.
For all the managers/directors who need a little guidance...
Follow this recipe:
Don’t define the responsibilities for the role or for the roles on your team. Make sure you keep responsibilities vague and don’t put anything in writing.
Don’t communicate expectations with the employee.
Don’t help integrate your new employee into the company. Don’t take them around and introduce them to people. When other colleagues stop by your cube, don’t introduce them to the new person on your team.
Don’t give your new employee anything to do for the first week or two. Let them marinate in their cubicle.
When you do assign the first task, make sure it’s something administrative like taking the meeting notes or setting up a meeting.
Don’t check-in to see how your new employee is doing and if they’re off to a good start; make them manage you!
Assume your new employee knows everything at all times in your company: products, people, processes, systems, resources, and don’t bring them up-to-speed, even when they ask. Just shrug your shoulders.
Don’t meet regularly with your new employee or provide any guidance or feedback whatsoever; let them wonder what’s going on.
Ignore your new employee when they tell you they want to “add value” and be a contributor. Don't see this as a signal your employee wants to do work and... you know, contribute.
Be unobservant and/or lackadaisical in noticing your other tenured subordinate employee is freezing out the brand new employee, while hoarding the one and only project in your new group.
Let your subordinates tell you what to do; don't try and learn how to manage or direct people.
Stir, let sit for many hours or even days, bake at 450 degrees. Congratulations on your new flattened employee souffle.
Speaking from the perspective of having spent many years as a manager, this is food for thought for all managers, and goes along with what my mentors taught me. I was, however, in a culture with a different organizational mentality, one in which I would be held accountable for the welfare and performance of my subordinates and my own performance as a manager and leader was measured by their success. My looking good depended on their looking good.
Apparently it's not obvious...and I'll have to explain.
This list isn't meant to actually be followed! It's sarcasm, people! Or, I guss for some, that would be [URL="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sarchasm"]sarchasm[/URL].
The list is what I'm currently experiencing in my new job. All of these things are occurring now... to...me.
I'm venting by using sarcasm to express my frustration.
Get it?
I'm not clear where the sarcasm is. Is it that you don't actually believe that these things listed will make new employees and yourself fail? You said you would explain it but you didn't. There are no posts implying that managers follow a list to intentionally make employees fail. I'm confused.
I'm not clear where the sarcasm is. Is it that you don't actually believe that these things will make new employees and yourself fail? You said you would explain it but you didn't.
Are you someone who needs to have Seinfeld episodes explained?
The whole list in my post counts as sarcasm.
1. A manager wouldn't (shouldn't) really want a new employee to fail, but the title lays how to make that very thing happen (as if that really was the goal). An untrained or incompetent manager can unwittingly cause this to happen.
2. Each item on the list is exactly the wrong behavior for a manager/director to do to a new employee. But it's the right behavior to ensure the employee is not off to a good start (again, in reality something a manager should not want to have happen, and yet it happens, and has been happening to me).
3. By doing all those things on the list, a manager is ensuring 'success' ... success at helping the new employee fail.
It (the whole thing) is sarcasm wrapped in irony.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
