Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-15-2015, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
1,073 posts, read 1,036,050 times
Reputation: 2961

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by eyeb View Post
next time just give them a roll of toilet paper with the use this note... let them wonder if it is for allergies or something else

again, I'm not sure you understand passive-aggressiveness... it would be pa if they just tossed the things in the sink away... asking the coworkers who used the utensils to clean up after themselves is common courtesy and professionalism... just like you don't walk around the office in your underwear, you don't treat the break room like your own kitchen.
Actually, you don't understand passive-aggressive either.

Aggressive behavior is acting on your feelings through an action that expresses your feelings outright. In your example, throwing away the utensils in the sink is aggressive behavior. You are correct in that asking coworkers to clean up is not passive-aggressive. But there are passive aggressives out there who will use PASSIVE techniques to act out their AGGRESSIVE thoughts without direct aggression.

Example: Bob sees Mike heating up a bowl of soup in the break area, watches him place the used bowl, lid and spoon in the communal sink and walk back to his desk. Bob is infuriated by the complete lack of courtesy and laziness of Mike.


A P-A behavior:

Bob knows it is Mike, but walks over to Mike's cubicle and says "Someone complained to Susan (office manager) that the break area is a biohazard. I ran in there and wiped off the counter, but someone left dishes in the sink. If you know who left dishes, pass it on that she walking through there before the end of the day."

You see, in the mind of the PA, he is doing something that conveys a message without unveiling himself as the aggressor or creating conflict with the offender (it is all the P-A needs to reward themselves--the feeling that they are getting an effect)...sounds polite, sounds like a day at the office. It is hard for some people to understand P-A, so many just label any grumpy, aggressive or sarcastic person as such. Those types can be P-A, but rarely exhibit the subtle nuances that PA's thrive on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-15-2015, 09:12 AM
 
615 posts, read 723,713 times
Reputation: 910
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Um, yeah.

I'm hoping your snarky cow-orker comes down with a nice juicy case of hay fever. I didn't have it until five years ago but fortunately I work at home, alone. I do sinus rinses with the neti pot, take Allegra D, Flonase, Symbicort and allergy shots but some days nothing helps.

I'd be tempted to thank your cow-orker for the box of tissues and mention that while we're laying our cards on the table, it sure would be great if she didn't use the word "like" every five seconds, because, like, it's really like bothering us, like, you know? Or whatever annoying thing it is she does, especially if she's one of those my-poo-smells-like-roses types.
Haha.

I had a roommate who would always make gross sounds when eating (e.g. slurp his noodle soup). I guess I'm just more used to tolerating things than is the average person, since I've lived in so many close quarters. Heck, for a while in college I was sleeping on the top of a triple bunk, with the guy in the middle snoring and the guy on the bottom usually having sex.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2015, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Southern California
12,713 posts, read 15,423,119 times
Reputation: 35511
You annoy the heck out of her and possibly the rest of the office. They probably all got together and thought of a way to get you to stop without confronting you face to face. Definitely, use them and stop sniffling at work. It's annoying.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top