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Face it, everyone wants to be the next pro sports star or famous actor/actress. There is nothing wrong with aspiring to do something like this. But you damn well better have some kind of college education or trade to fall back on.
Face it, everyone wants to be the next pro sports star or famous actor/actress. There is nothing wrong with aspiring to do something like this. But you damn well better have some kind of college education or trade to fall back on.
Yes of course, I fully agree. I'm not naive or delusional.
Your dream is to live in a very competitive city (New York) in a very competitive job/profession. On top of it, you have PTSD. The stuff you want isn't for the faint of heart. Basically you have to be willing to give up everything else in your life to have that singing career in New York. It requires tons of sacrifice. It's a field where people are often desperate for success and they'll do anything for it (including prostituting themselves--no joke). You have to look at it from the perspective of what you're willing to give up to have that career. I can't say I would blame you if you didn't think it was worth it. But then you have to find some other purpose/purposes in your life. We are all capable of being good at more than one thing.
Corporate America wants legions of zombies that will slave away for them their entire life and make a few people at the top super rich. So people such as yourself that refuse to give in and do something that is unfulfilling, are a threat to them. When you work for someone else all you're doing is making someone else rich unless it's a civil servant, military, a nurse, or another job similar to those.
Honestly, the artistic world is just as brutal as Corporate America is--and probably worse because it preys on so many desperate people trying to fulfill their dreams. I mean, most accountants and engineers working for corporations probably weren't thinking these were "ultimate dream" type careers...at least not to the degree that singers & performers do.
no but it's kind of required to raise kids... and that is some people's definition of a happy life...
being a free spirit is fine, but you have to give up things like owning a home/raising kids/having a stable job... you can't say one is better just because you don't like the other, either
This is what millenials call a "different" world, they just don't get that to get what they consider important, they have to give up some things too... older generations decided that they wanted a family, they gave up the mobility/freedom to chase the wind.... how is that any different than how it is today? You pick what is important, then do whatever it takes to do it
OP, sorry I deleted the part where you said "what happens when you are 75".
The best place to look for those stories is on the Retirement Forum. I suggest you read the original posts thoroughly for the first page or two to see if the dilemma presented in any way resembles your own. There are more than a few posts from older women who thought they were right to follow their passions when they were younger, wound up with nothing at about your age, and then were trapped in grinding poverty for the remainder. It ain't pretty.
They write from the standpoint of having lived the "follow your dream" life for forty years, now reduced to straitened circumstances in their 60s. THESE are the people to whom you should pose your question.
You absolutely need to build a Social Security earnings base. You need 35 years of SS-taxed earnings at full retirement age (which for you is 67) in order to have a minimum amount to live on. If you can go to NYC and live on somebody's sofa for a limited time to test out your talent (I think I can predict what you will find), then come back and get certified in something useful. Trades. Nursing. We are talking survival here, unless you are OK with being homeless until you roll around to retirement age, if you live that long. No more working under the table.
I'm sure you are a very nice singer. If you had world-class talent, you would have had half a million in the bank by now - particularly having lived in the benign and densely-populated areas you cite. Lots of art lovers there with time to spend in cafes listening to singers. Lots of sidewalks to sing on. However, the universe has already voted. If you did not make it in artsy West Coast communities, you will not make it in NYC, which eats its young.
I have witnessed too many poverty stricken aging hippies who "followed their bliss" to ever opine that your proposal is the "right" thing to do. Dumb as h*ll, is more my take.
You already blew fifteen years without having anything to show for it, and you are behind on your survival plan. Sorry for your "trauma" and all, but rise above it and get serious about providing for your future. That is what survivors do.
Best wishes to you, Jane
With the exception of the Social Security part, this is what I'm thinking. If you earn at least an ok living, live frugally, and consistently save/invest a good portion of your income (i.e. at least 15%) Social Security should be a small portion of your income by the time you're eligible.
Well, thanks for your reply - as insensitive as it comes across to me. "Sorry for your trauma and all" just doesn't sound particularly kind, but you have no clue what happened to me--and if you did, you would probably rethink your words. I don't expect everyone to sugarcoat everything, but I've been through the ringer, and I did come here asking for some hope.
Well, if you are annoyed at a CD poster being unkind, what do you think it's going to be like in the music world? Honestly, people who really want to make it in NYC wouldn't be contemplating all the angles on CD and calling CD posters unkind. They would be in NYC, right now.
Maybe I'm missing something, but it would seem to me that the immediate thing to do would be to get a local job. Then you'll at least be getting out of the house, making a little money, getting a normal routine.
I can't tell if your interest in NYC is just because of the sining, or if there's something else that's a draw for you. The New York City forum is used to giving advice for situations like yours, but the first thing they'll tell you is to come with a lot of money. It would be especially handy if your friends already in NYC would let you come and stay with them for several months.
Most people I've known who are trying to break into the arts do something else in the meantime, like the cliche of the actor who's waiting tables. You mentioned having had a high-paying job; could you do that in NYC while you're auditioning? Another possibility is that your performing would be for pleasure, but not your main job. I knew someone - in her 30s or older - with a steady, dull job as a bookkeeper, but she always had dreamed of singing. She managed to find herself some free gigs, and it blossomed a bit from there, until she had a regular spot at a hotel. Now, maybe you're dreaming of something grander, but you'll never know until you try.
yes follow your dream, or else you will be wondering "what if" for the rest of your life
in my late 30s I lost my job, had no money, and moved to a state that I had never even visited, based only on intuition. I had no job leads, did not know anyone there, it was purely on a gut feel. It turned out to be a great move. I stayed there 10 years, and then moved again, also to a place I had never visited but always wanted to live.
trust your gut, be willing to follow your dream, regardless of how it turns out, take whatever temp jobs you need to, to pay the rent. best wishes! don't listen to the nay-sayers. the only one responsible for your happiness is YOU.
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