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Its 2 offers on one job. One offer for the job with a raise, and another offer for the job without a raise. Only a damned fool would respond to the latter offer before finding out if the raise was approved.
You negotiated very poorly. The manager made a mistake by offering you a raise. It's clear he can't give it to you right away. If he offered you the job without the raise would you have taken it?
If not, you have your answer. If you would have, you should have told him yes.
The manager isn't handling it well either, but your reaction isn't going to get you anywhere.
I already have the job and the raise, but I also have a supervisor who seems to hold a grudge about me not dancing when he yelled "dance" to cover for his mistake. He has damn near made me wish I turned the job down.
Veuvegirl, why did I negotiate poorly? I don't know what my answer would have been if the raise was declined. Its one of those things where you have to cross that bridge when you come to it. Trying to make me cross it beforehand is not ethical.
IMO you should have been honest. Managers (and people in general) like honesty if they are both on the same team.
If you would have said "Yes, I will accept the job even without the increase but i would appreciate it if you can do whatever you can to get me the increase", he probably would have said "Thanks for letting me know. I will do the best I can but I am glad that you want to stay on the team regardless."
Instead you basically said "I don't trust that you have my best interests in mind so I don't want to tell you anything."
He got defensive and said "You have to answer me or I'll just take it as you don't want the job"...
At that point, your relationship soured and you're probably going to need to look for another job.
...but it's ok as long as we learn from our mistakes. if you have the same situation a few years from now and you handle it the same way...then it's not ok.
I was honest. I didn't want to answer to 2 offers at once because it's an extremely unfair request. I had already accepted an offer they made. If they wanted an answer to another 2nd offer, they could finalize their answer on the first offer and then ask about the 2nd.
I was under no obligation whatsoever to reply to a simultaneous and less attractive offer from the same manager, and its unethical to try to force me to.
I'd like to hear of some examples where someone said they'd work for less money and were given more.
Those examples may apply in the private sector.
You've worked for the 'government' for how long? I think you said 6 years. Then, you must know there are guidelines (limitations!) and such - and the possibilities may fall within all that. I'd be checking out that info before 'throwing your weight around' too awfully much in your initial permanent position. Or, is it a local government that maybe has more latitude? Will you be on probation during your initial permanent service?
I don't know, I might consider putting the other foot forward to start things off. Just sayin.
You were not under any obligation to answer anything so of course you don't have to answer anything. But you seem surprised that your behavior put a bad taste in your supervisor's mouth and now his attitude towards you is poor. I find it odd that you are surprised at that.
Of course this is work and there is negotiation to be done, etc. But your managers wants you to feel that you trust him. You made it clear that it's Me vs You. You could have said "Yes, I really like you and the team and the company and I probably would take the lower offer but it would really help me a lot if you could get the original offer" and I guarantee that your manager would have said "Thanks for being up front with me. I will do what I can."
Saying "I refuse to answer the question" isn't honest in my opinion. Answering the question is honest. The unfortunate part is that this is going to be difficult if not impossible for you to repair at this point. Hopefully your manager isn't out looking for your replacement already.
As for my current job, I did the same thing...told them what I was making and just said "somewhere around there would be great but let me know what's competitive" and they offered me about 30% more. I didn't ask for 30% more.
This strikes me as very strange. All gov jobs I have seen over the past 40 years have classifications and the wages are clearly out in the open and not negotiable. In any event, look forward to having a pleasant working relationship with your supervisor
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Just sayin.
