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I am a young female. I've been at my job for a couple of months now and no matter how nice and friendly I am , I find myself singled out. No one talks to me. It all started with two older female coworkers snubbing me. Then it seems like everyone (including guys) joined in. I hear the gossip and the snickering when I enter the lunch room. Or they give eachother weird looks when I pass by.
These people pass my cubicle and ignore me and make no type of eye contact whatsoever even though it's clear that I am there. Seriously, you have to make an effort to avoid not looking at me. And that's when I say "good morning so and so" and the reply is usually an awkward nod. Or simple questions like "how was your weekend" is a one word answer reply. But I hear others ask the same thing, and their conversations are flowing back and forth.
I am a social butterfly so for me to not interact with others nor talk as much is uncomfortable to me.
Side note: One of the female coworkers had my linkedin profile up on her computer when I passed by her office. Weird, right?
What's worst is that my boss is bff with one of the females. This is making me miserable! The gossiping and ostracizing is making me go crazy. Lunch times make me crazy. I just sit in my car and drive off somewhere and try to calm down. Help me! My work productivity has gone down, and I hate going to work.
You've said nothing of your work, which is why you are there, not to socialize. Take care of your work and don't be concerned with what others do on their weekends. Just say good morning and get to work. Interaction may come later, at its own pace.
There's a difference between being friendly and overly friendly. Just say your good mornings, have a good evenings and focus on your job. If someone wants to get friendlier than that, then fine. But don't try jumping in if they're not friendly towards you.
You've said nothing of your work, which is why you are there, not to socialize. Take care of your work and don't be concerned with what others do on their weekends. Just say good morning and get to work. Interaction may come later, at its own pace.
I have to wonder if you've worked in an office environment?
Simply walking in, working and going home without making any interactions with anyone else would kill me. In fact, when I spend 5 minutes talking about my weekend with a coworker, I feel much more uplifted and ready to work than if I just miserably plopped down in my desk with my coffee while everyone else talks about me. Maybe this is just me though. I'm sure if you were in the situation described, you would be just fine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused
If this is everyone then it's not them, it's you.
I think this is an interesting point. I don't think enough has been said by the OP to reach this conclusion though. For instance, if the problem was purely that OP was annoying, I think it's odd that a coworker would be going through her LinkedIn profile. I've worked in several offices and if anyone annoyed me, I'd just avoid them and talk to people I do like, not make deliberate attempts to get them back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by deposite
There's a difference between being friendly and overly friendly. Just say your good mornings, have a good evenings and focus on your job. If someone wants to get friendlier than that, then fine. But don't try jumping in if they're not friendly towards you.
Somebody has to be friendly first. There is a too friendly, but there's nothing wrong with trying to start conversations at lunch, or something along those lines. Just don't force yourself on people who are not interested in engaging with you.
What's worst is that my boss is bff with one of the females. This is making me miserable! The gossiping and ostracizing is making me go crazy. Lunch times make me crazy. I just sit in my car and drive off somewhere and try to calm down. Help me! My work productivity has gone down, and I hate going to work.
**** 'em off by doing a better job then them, all while you look for another job. Work as hard as you can, get as great results as you possibly can, and then when that job search gets you another job, you can get back at your co-worker losers and the boss by putting you're notice that simply says you feel you are a better fit at the organization.
You won't see the great response you want, but if the boss then loses a top performer (especially knowing they were younger with potential), it will sting with them long term, and they will eventually crack the whip at the losers you currently deal with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyl3r
I think this is an interesting point. I don't think enough has been said by the OP to reach this conclusion though. For instance, if the problem was purely that OP was annoying, I think it's odd that a coworker would be going through her LinkedIn profile. I've worked in several offices and if anyone annoyed me, I'd just avoid them and talk to people I do like, not make deliberate attempts to get them back.
Nothing that odd, really. That person thinks the OP is unqualified and is looking for ammo. That is probably the prevailing thought among the older grunts in the office.
Somebody has to be friendly first. There is a too friendly, but there's nothing wrong with trying to start conversations at lunch, or something along those lines. Just don't force yourself on people who are not interested in engaging with you.
Some people just don't enjoy conversations. If the person is friendly enough to me, I'll budge. If not, I say my good mornings and good evenings.
I wonder if they are jealous of your youth or looks, and someone started a rumor about you.
Try to ignore it. Just do your job and go home. Getting out at lunch is a good idea. You spend 8 hours/day in an office with them. You don't need to eat lunch with them, too. Don't give them any reason to suspect anything bad about you.
This.
OP you're there to work not socialize. Quit asking "how was your weekend", you never know what people have going on at home. The one word responses are your clues. It could be they're resentful of you(the older women), maybe one of them spends all weekend taking care of an elderly parent. Leave it at "good morning" if you pass them in the hall. Eat lunch on your own, consider it your down time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint
You may be too much of a "social butterfly" for this work environment. Too much socializing and visiting in an office can be very annoying and distracting to people who need to concentrate on their work. It is not realistic to expect others to converse or make eye contact every time they pass your cubicle.
This as well. OP is young, she needs to learn "when in Rome do as the Romans do". If the office environment is keep to yourself, minimal talking, than follow suit. If the office is more social and relaxed, than follow suit.
I have to wonder if you've worked in an office environment? Simply walking in, working and going home without making any interactions with anyone else would kill me. In fact, when I spend 5 minutes talking about my weekend with a coworker, I feel much more uplifted and ready to work than if I just miserably plopped down in my desk with my coffee while everyone else talks about me. Maybe this is just me though. I'm sure if you were in the situation described, you would be just fine.
I think this is an interesting point. I don't think enough has been said by the OP to reach this conclusion though. For instance, if the problem was purely that OP was annoying, I think it's odd that a coworker would be going through her LinkedIn profile. I've worked in several offices and if anyone annoyed me, I'd just avoid them and talk to people I do like, not make deliberate attempts to get them back.
Somebody has to be friendly first. There is a too friendly, but there's nothing wrong with trying to start conversations at lunch, or something along those lines. Just don't force yourself on people who are not interested in engaging with you.
Well than you better never change jobs or get laid off, or hope your coworker doesn't quit.
I have worked now in several different offices, and they're all different. Some people have been friendly and casual in, others more formal. You pay attention and do your best to fit in. They're not your friends, they're your coworkers.
Being able to read people is important. When you get a one word response to "how was your weekend?", that is telling you to quit asking.
Why do you find it odd that coworker is looking to see where the OP worked before if they find her annoying? It's not odd at all, granted I would like an office where people did talk and could say "where did you work before this?". But this person could be thinking "what company did this annoying person work before, Disney perhaps?".
OP needs to take it down a few pegs, and if she finds it too upsetting than start looking elsewhere.
In a post the OP made about two weeks ago, she references that her co-workers joke and laugh with one another, but not with her. Therefore, I really don't think this is a case of her being too extroverted and happy.
In a post the OP made about two weeks ago, she references that her co-workers joke and laugh with one another, but not with her. Therefore, I really don't think this is a case of her being too extroverted and happy.
Regardless, you they're to work. The hell with them if they exclude her.
You keep it professional, and even if at some point they start to get friendlier, you be polite and nothing more.
You say "Good Morning", and you say "Good Night"(if you see people, don't go around saying this) and leave it at that. Do a good job and in time if you don't like the work environment you "Press On" as the British say.
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