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I've been on here a lot lately because I was in the process of a new job and successful! I'm super excited to start this role, earn more money, and earn great benefits although I would deeply miss my coworkers. This environment is more conservative but a good career path for me to even possibly retire if wanted.
I start next Monday, although excited I am stressed out a bit. I'm still haunted from my very first HR job having flash backs and completely worried I'll be miserable. If you look back on my history back in 2014 I had a manager that hated me and I swear was trying to get me fired, I was the scapegoat many times, I felt incompetent, I cried in my office often, communication was horrible, etc. I lucked out with my current job with a super relaxed and informal work culture where they don't care how formal you are but I must leave because they haven't hired any temps that have been there over a year...
So, I am stressing out if my new job will be like my first one. I keep thinking of mistakes I might've made to be miserable in my first job and how to not repeat them. How common is it to be in a work environment like my first job? I just want them to like me...or at least tolerate it and not cry or feel like in constantly walking on egg shells like my first job.
Toxic situations can happen in a lot of ways--work, family, neighbours, etc. Society these days is too superficial and trite in how toxic work situations are viewed (IMO)... human nature can be brutally messed up. The things people do to one another are appalling. And they do cause real trauma. It isn't just a matter of sucking it up and polishing up your resume and moving on. It's much more complex than that.
You can recover, and get on with your life, though. In time, you'll understand a bit more just how dysfunctional and messed up people can be. Your former boss/coworkers might have reasons why they behaved the way they did. Don't rationalize and excuse their behaviour... but someday, you might understand some of it a bit better. In the meantime, do your best to realize it wasn't your fault. Crappy situations happen in life. You just survive them, and move on. Things will get better.
All the time, but I've learned not to judge too soon. I've had the same job title and the job was pretty much the same thing, except the new one was better because of the company and the environment. The first one not only gives me bad memories, it boils my blood when I think about it since it felt it was a dead end job and I was doing a lot of work, but the manager didn't like me and ended up firing me for saying a bad word since he couldn't find any flaw at the work I did. All I can say is give the new job a chance and don't over think it. Sure it may be similar, but the environment might be different or the co-workers/manager might be cool enough to enjoy the job.
Now you know how to recognize a toxic situation and realize that it's not YOU that's the problem. This helps you cope. The first time it's so confusing that you waste a lot of energy trying to figure out what is going on and what you did to cause it.
So you are more experienced this time around.
If it happens then have an exit plan in your back pocket.
Several years ago I worked with a sociopath which caused a lot of chaos at work. I learned from that situation how to spot another one. Years later at a different job I ran into another sociopath coworker that was causing chaos that only a sociopath can do. I resigned 1 week later. Part of the reason I resigned was because years prior I told myself to get out of that situation pronto because it doesn't get better. Gladly, I have not run into another situation again. Life is too short.
Always have a Plan B.
Statistically, it's very likely things will go smoothly at your new job. Those toxic scenarios aren't as common as 'normal' work environments. You'll most likely be in a normal environment.
I've been on here a lot lately because I was in the process of a new job and successful! I'm super excited to start this role, earn more money, and earn great benefits although I would deeply miss my coworkers. This environment is more conservative but a good career path for me to even possibly retire if wanted.
I start next Monday, although excited I am stressed out a bit. I'm still haunted from my very first HR job having flash backs and completely worried I'll be miserable. If you look back on my history back in 2014 I had a manager that hated me and I swear was trying to get me fired, I was the scapegoat many times, I felt incompetent, I cried in my office often, communication was horrible, etc. I lucked out with my current job with a super relaxed and informal work culture where they don't care how formal you are but I must leave because they haven't hired any temps that have been there over a year...
So, I am stressing out if my new job will be like my first one. I keep thinking of mistakes I might've made to be miserable in my first job and how to not repeat them. How common is it to be in a work environment like my first job? I just want them to like me...or at least tolerate it and not cry or feel like in constantly walking on egg shells like my first job.
I had a good job once with an extremely toxic boss (she had a really bad reputation). I had actual nightmares during that time. Got friendly with my supervisor who shielded me from the toxic woman over us both. Stuck it out for a year and then applied for another job within the company when it opened, and I got it. Even better--it was as an assistant to her boss. The look on her face when I told her was worth every miserable day in that job.
Last edited by Enigma777; 02-11-2016 at 09:26 PM..
Sounds very much like what my last job deteriorated into.
It started out as an alright place to work.
The supervisor was easy to get along with and the co-workers could be avoided rather easily if you timed your movements in the yard just right.
However, I began to crave more money and subsequently took on the added responsibilities entailed by a dairy farm loader/driver.
First it was just one load a night that involved driving out to a dairy that was 200 miles away and pumping it, then bringing it back to town.
This came and went about twice over two years before it was given to another terminal.
In the meantime, I took on multiple local dairies and became rather good at it.
However, other drivers began to leave and the workload slowly became too much for me to handle.
I looked into transferring to other areas and operations with the company to lighten my workload, but like a greedy fool, I put the money I was making before my own health considerations.
Should've taken the transfer when I had the chance and adjust accordingly.
Fast forward to the end of August and I was visibly beginning to slack off to a degree in protest.
At the same time, the current manager took over and began to enforce a military style sense of authority over the work environment.
One minor offense and I was fired not too long after by this guy.
In the end, I'm not a religious person and I'm about as unforgiving to that manager as he was to me.
Luckily, I've yet to run into this guy any where else in town.
Haven't seen him since getting booted by him and I also keep a close eye out for him in order to beat a hasty retreat to keep things from getting ugly.
However, I'm also kind of getting over it by having a current position with duties similar to what I was doing earlier on with the previous company.
Also, I'm keeping my eye on similar jobs in AZ, CA and other parts of NM in order to bounce out and away from this area once again.
Not to mention taking a few classes at the local CC put me in contact with some non-work faces, so that kind of eases the tension a bit.
Move on. It's time. It's been a few years. This will be at least your second job since then. Seriously, Let it go and move on. Life's too short to hold onto stuff like that.
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