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As if my father wasn't the most important person in my life. He was everything to me. I was his baby girl.
But life must go on, and I have bills to pay. It's amazing to me the folks who think they can just throw their hands in the air and have a meltdown because their loved one dies. You can't do that in real life. I had nobody else to fall back on. All his siblings and parents were dead, my mother and her siblings were dead.
People handle things differently. Like others have said, no need to pile on.
All, please don't argue amongst yourselves over this thread. I appreciate all of the replies; both the straight shooters as well as the ones expressing sympathy. Thank you. Everything that you all have said to me, is what I'd advise to someone else if I weren't going through it personally, so I welcome the proverbial slap in the face (snap out of it!). I needed it.
I probably wasn't clear, and for that I apologize. The company encouraged me to use up as many PTO days as I could, and work part time as financial supplement. So the other days that I did not work thus far, has been used by my vacation and bereavement days. The company had/has no problem with this; the only issue is that they want me back in office earlier than I "planned".
As an update to all, they told me to stop working as of yesterday, and use the rest of my PTO to really hammer down on the rest of my mom's business. We both agreed to a date of May 2nd. I'm very grateful to have this company have my back, and support me the way they have during all of this. I guess I just freaked out a bit as I wasn't expecting pushback on the date I set, but I understand why now. I guess I needed a mirror pushed up to my face in order for me to get back to business as usual.
Quit. What a horrible place . . .
Why would you want to work for someone that has no empathy for the stress you are under and the whole horrification of the situation? They need to be reminded that they are doing nothing that important. Unless you are averting nuclear war or saving a child from a burning building, nothing any job does is that important. Take some time for yourself. Move on.
..::::EDIT:::.. OK, problem resolved. Good for you. I'm glad it worked out
Thanks to all who have replied! I have taken every single reply into account.
To answer the remote work question, I am currently working remote on a part-time basis, agreed, per company before I left. What they want me to do now is to not work remote anymore (I've only worked 2 days since I've been gone), use up the rest of my PTO and come back ASAP.
Yes, you are all correct, I could move up the day if I really tried. I will try to do some rearranging and go from there. I cannot leave until at least the memorial service - I'm hoping by this weekend.
If anyone has other suggestions, please continue to post. Thanks all.
My mother was in a nursing home when I went back to my Fortune 10 corporate job after quitting awhile.
I was NOT FMLA eligible.
You can get fired for absence and luckily I never had to leave work for her condition.
HOWEVER she passed away within a couple of weeks of my return. They allowed me five days off without pay which is the company POLICY even though it's not applicable to new hires for six months.
I'm telling you all this for contrast.
Your company has been very fair IMO. They didn't have to give you ANYTHING until she died, most places would give you a week or so for that.
I don't want to be HARSH but you really do NOT need to delay things for a memorial service...you HAVE her ashes.
You can have a MEMORIAL service today. OR you can have "a particular" organization any time even six months from now.
I see you're probably making a big thing of it for friends and other family members so ok, now you have to pick your JOB or those people.
Your mom would probably tell you to go back to work. I think you're not thinking clearly due to the grief and responsibilities but WHAT REALLY cannot wait? Get it done.
ETA I just saw your update. I'm leaving this here though. I'm glad it worked out for you.
Quit. What a horrible place . . .
Why would you want to work for someone that has no empathy for the stress you are under and the whole horrification of the situation? They need to be reminded that they are doing nothing that important. Unless you are averting nuclear war or saving a child from a burning building, nothing any job does is that important. Take some time for yourself. Move on.
..::::EDIT:::.. OK, problem resolved. Good for you. I'm glad it worked out
Sorry for your loss . . .
That's funny.
If they're doing nothing important then they certainly don't need her and she can quit or be dismissed.
Just don't let me hear all this political talk about WORK LIFE BALANCE when apparently the ONLY persons who matter are the employees who are getting paid for unimportant mundane tasks.
#feelthebern
Great advise though. QUIT WORK for no reason at all. NOTHING about her mother's ashes requires still taking off work or even closing out her "estate" unless she can't get rid of her stuff in time and can't afford to pay rent or mortgage or move it and she has no FINANCIAL POA over her mothers things.
HOW is that the employer's responsibility. Just TRY operating a business that way. Let's start with all the people who's mothers would die multiple times. The busiest people in some of these companies can be the HR dept trying to keep up with all the BS.
NO exaggeration as the FMLA act DOES usually require a large staff to remain in compliance.
Last edited by runswithscissors; 04-21-2016 at 09:55 AM..
If they're doing nothing important then they certainly don't need her and she can quit or be dismissed.
Just don't let me hear all this political talk about WORK LIFE BALANCE when apparently the ONLY persons who matter are the employees who are getting paid for unimportant mundane tasks.
Everyone thinks they are important. You're not. I'm not. No one is. If you/your business disappears today, you will be all but forgotten tomorrow. The world will find a way to move forward without us. As unbelievable as that might be to you, it is the truth.
I think the "to care for your mother" part is the stickler since she passed on the 10th. When my mom passed, they wanted me back in 7 days. Luckily my sister took over at that point.
Maybe you should speak with HR and explain you situation. I hope you can work something out.
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People are hired to solve problems for the company, not add more.
