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I worked at a place like this. The people did barely any work. The lady I shared an office with would go weeks without doing a lick of work. She wanted to sit and chat with me all day, and got offended when I wouldn't.
I decided I was just going to be polite and then go about my business, and it was not my problem if she was offended because I didn't want to spend all day talking.
I volunteered for extra assignments and researched stuff to keep myself busy.
Eventually I brokered a deal to work at home 4 days a week.
Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Our society is doomed. We can't even discuss interesting people. What names have been in the media the most this week? Donald Trump and Becky with the Good Hair.
In the office I work in, people can discuss their trip to Walmart for an hour at a time. A back and forth about who put what on facebook can go on forever. Its beyond annoying. It's horrifying. I think it is a curse to worry about this stuff though. I have often wondered if my life would be happier if simple things like this did not make me so annoyed? They obliviously chirp on about the most inane things, and I sit there wanting to deafen myself with a pencil. Who is the loser here lol
i am generally a private, and introspective person, and like you.. believe the workplace should be a serious, professional environment. however, workplace has evolved over the past decades into what you describe above and more and more, your ability to chit chat becomes part of your sociability score as related to your work peers, and judged as such by others.
i don't like to do it, but i do chit chat because it is something that is now part of the job, and it is a skill that can be developed.. you can be pleasant and share some things, without going overboard. but staying reticent will draw alot of unnecessary attention to you. yeah i know, it sucks.
these people you work with they're not your friends, they're just bodies there to do work. that's how i look upon them for the most part. i got close to 1 other employee who shares the same thinking, and so when these endless chit chats begin in our office, he and i start laughing hysterically because we have special private nicknames for everyone based on their personalities and the special code words. at first, they thought we were enjoying the convo.. it stopped after a month tho, we got reported to HR, a few finally got a clue and thought we were making fun of them. still, whenever i engage in one of their dumb conversations, i can't stop thinking how ludicrous they are and really have to force myself from cracking up.
You feel alienated and left out, so you belittle everyone else for not including you. You need a coaching session on how to be more sociable.
I love my job. I also really like the people I work with.
We chat about many things...our children, our pets, current events, issues at work and how to solve them, etc. I am also friends with several of the people I work with. We do social things together - not happy hour (none of us are really drinkers, outside of a glass of wine with dinner or something) - but things like art shows, sporting events, concerts, etc.
Usually places with a ton of small talk do not function very well and have all sorts of internal issues and long term end up going down the tubes (i.e.: Closing or massive layoffs) Its inevitable. Business with customers gets lost to other places, the places end up losing money etc.
Its a management issue but generally the managers are involved with all this "soft skill, small talk" crap themselves.
This has been my experience too. If the environment is so slow paced that people have time to just chat all day long, the company doesn't have enough work to go around. That never ends well.
The best way to avoid being drawn into long off topic discussions is to be busy. If people see you are working hard they will be less likely to bother you and will be less offended if you don't join in.
Of course, it's important to be at least somewhat sociable at work. People are inherently social creatures. On a more practical level, people are going to be more willing to help you when you need it if they know you a bit as a person. There's nothing wrong with a short "how was your weekend" or "do you have any plans for..." or "where did you get that... I really like it" chat.
I actually got a negative feedback on my recent annual review because of my lack of "soft social skills" in the office. Apparently, it's not acceptable to keep my mouth shut and not joke around all the time. So I don't do inside jokes, doesn't mean it's because I hate everyone. In fact, forcing me to join in on the chit chat IS making me hate everyone. Go figures.
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