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Old 05-01-2016, 05:38 PM
 
204 posts, read 289,788 times
Reputation: 91

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I moved to NYC in January and was so excited to have found a job prior to moving that I ignored some of the red flags that I noticed. Now, 4 months later, things have become so bad, that I'm thinking of leaving without having another job lined up. My director is extremely difficult to work for, unprofessional, verbally abusive, and has unrealistic expectations. She flat out told me that she doesn't trust me and does not believe that I have what it takes to succeed in this position. I have tried to ignore her negativity and just focus on the job, which has allowed me to excel over the last few months, and have the emails from the area director to prove this. Despite this however, she has made this environment beyond difficult to work on, and I don't think I can suck it up any longer. Financially, I do have plenty of savings where I could leave the job and be okay for a few months until I find something else. My fiancé is still working, so we would still have an income coming in. He thinks I should stay and try to do my best to ignore her, and doesn't think getting fired would be bad; I think differently, although I think it's heading in that direction. I also have two interviews lined up this week, so maybe I'll get lucky and one of those will work out.

If these interviews don't work out, how stupid would it be to leave without having another job lined up? I've never done something like this before, so being unemployed, even for the shortest period of time, scares me.

Also, would you put this job on your resume, or leave it off? Currently I have it on, as I have done some great things which I hope can help me find something else. If I leave it on, what's a good reason to use about why I'm leaving after short period of time? Obviously I can't say the truth, so I need to come up with something positive about wanting to leave.
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Old 05-01-2016, 06:05 PM
 
3,463 posts, read 5,638,140 times
Reputation: 7218
Wow. Leave. ITs only going to get worse. A nasty bully. You will have nervous breakdown trying get this demons OK. Dont put it on a resume. I know they say its easier to find work when you have a job, but if you are mentally beaten down, it could manifest itself in an interview if you have this beast in the back of your mind. You wont have focus required to shine. If it was me(you arent me though) I would leave ASAP, exorcise this demon from your mind, and concentrate on being positive in interviews.

Good luck, IVe been where you are. Hopefully you will get resolve soon.
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Old 05-01-2016, 06:30 PM
 
204 posts, read 289,788 times
Reputation: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by thunderkat59 View Post
Wow. Leave. ITs only going to get worse. A nasty bully. You will have nervous breakdown trying get this demons OK. Dont put it on a resume. I know they say its easier to find work when you have a job, but if you are mentally beaten down, it could manifest itself in an interview if you have this beast in the back of your mind. You wont have focus required to shine. If it was me(you arent me though) I would leave ASAP, exorcise this demon from your mind, and concentrate on being positive in interviews.

Good luck, IVe been where you are. Hopefully you will get resolve soon.
I'm good at being able to separate my current job from interviews, but I have a difficult time separating work from my personal life (if that makes sense.) I literally bring work home with me and I'm expected to be on call 24/7. I refuse to allow it to affect my relationship with my fiancé, although I know he gets frustrated too when I have to work late daily, or when I talk about work out of frustration, or when I'm called on the weekend, etc.

I know having gaps on a resume is not the worst thing in the world and I could easily justify it, but I feel like I would be doing a disservice to myself by leaving off this job. I don't plan on using this job for a reference anyway, and bridges have already been burned here.

I've never been treated this unprofessionally before and I'm good at ignoring negativity and gossip. This lady though has just made it unbearable. Since I've been here, 3 employees have left (given two weeks and then just stopped showing up.) So, I know it's not just me.
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Old 05-01-2016, 10:31 PM
 
48 posts, read 90,282 times
Reputation: 54
Try your best to secure the new job first - just as a good rule of thumb. If you literally had nothing on the horizon this would be a different convo, but try to last 1-2 more weeks if at all. I've had horrible bosses like you, I'm all about leaving as a show of force. But just go ahead and get that offer email and then hit her with the 14 day. Walk out 2 days into it, it'll make no difference lol
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Old 05-02-2016, 03:36 AM
 
3,960 posts, read 3,573,877 times
Reputation: 2025
Quote:
Originally Posted by fsu00 View Post
I'm good at being able to separate my current job from interviews, but I have a difficult time separating work from my personal life (if that makes sense.) I literally bring work home with me and I'm expected to be on call 24/7. I refuse to allow it to affect my relationship with my fiancé, although I know he gets frustrated too when I have to work late daily, or when I talk about work out of frustration, or when I'm called on the weekend, etc.

I know having gaps on a resume is not the worst thing in the world and I could easily justify it, but I feel like I would be doing a disservice to myself by leaving off this job. I don't plan on using this job for a reference anyway, and bridges have already been burned here.

I've never been treated this unprofessionally before and I'm good at ignoring negativity and gossip. This lady though has just made it unbearable. Since I've been here, 3 employees have left (given two weeks and then just stopped showing up.) So, I know it's not just me.
I've seen this so many times in our field (social work), and it's almost criminal that agencies will offer someone from out of town a job, have them move across country, and then make things so miserable for them that they chase them out. Do these people have no compassion? Not to mention a conscience. (And these people are social workers - yikes!)

Of course the wisdom is that it's better not to leave until you have another job lined up. And if you can swing that, by all means do

I will say that in some abusive social work job environments looking back I regret not having resigned weeks or months earlier (job offer in hand or no), because in a sense you keep your dignity when you refuse to accept unprofessional and abusive treatment.
In addition, when the abuse went on for months it did take a toll on me emotionally, and to be honest, I think in one case I do bear the brunt of some post-traumatic symptoms to this day (especially in job situations). Had I left that job 6 months earlier, I could have avoided that.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:24 AM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,882 posts, read 30,982,886 times
Reputation: 47220
Definitely secure the job before leaving your current one.
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Old 05-02-2016, 09:24 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,015,665 times
Reputation: 15764
I would never leave a job because of one person because you never know when that person themselves are going to get fired or quit.

For instance, I worked in a place where two women had it in for me since almost Day 1 and made my daily life a living h@ll. Within 6 months, both of them had quit and things were much better for me.

Another thing to consider is that with difficult people ... usually everybody has a problem with them. If you are the only person who has a problem with that person, then it's probably partly you.

The most important thing is that you believe in your job, what you are doing, and/or enjoy it.
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Old 05-02-2016, 10:46 AM
 
Location: NYC
16,061 posts, read 26,668,429 times
Reputation: 24848
I would do everything I could to secure a job before leaving. Make that your focus over the next couple of months and try and get out of there.
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Old 05-02-2016, 01:05 PM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,015,665 times
Reputation: 15764
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoshanarose View Post
I've seen this so many times in our field (social work), and it's almost criminal that agencies will offer someone from out of town a job, have them move across country, and then make things so miserable for them that they chase them out. Do these people have no compassion? Not to mention a conscience. (And these people are social workers - yikes!)

Of course the wisdom is that it's better not to leave until you have another job lined up. And if you can swing that, by all means do

I will say that in some abusive social work job environments looking back I regret not having resigned weeks or months earlier (job offer in hand or no), because in a sense you keep your dignity when you refuse to accept unprofessional and abusive treatment.
In addition, when the abuse went on for months it did take a toll on me emotionally, and to be honest, I think in one case I do bear the brunt of some post-traumatic symptoms to this day (especially in job situations). Had I left that job 6 months earlier, I could have avoided that.
I find that so funny and ironic when there are nasty, condescending people and ambitious (in the climb the ladder/out for themselves kind of way) people in fields like social work.

WHY did they go into social work then? This is a job where compassion is key and things like treating people well and making the world a better place are supposed to take precedence over yourself.

Why not just go into business/engineering/marketing/etc, etc if you are that type?
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