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Why would you even consider a job that requires a vehicle if you don't have a vehicle?
My FI and I share his car. He usually picks me up and drops me off, that's how I also get to school. Regardless even with his help it's still inconvenient. And it adds an extra burden to him and more time for me. The option of just walking 4 mins from home is of course much better.
Just to clarify, my suggestion had nothing to do with the OP taking meds - quite the contrary. For most, an evidence based cognitive intervention should be attempted first. That's what a licensed and competent CBT based therapist offers. A person who had real CBT training - not a few lectures or an online class or a seminar that taught them about CBT, but one who went through a real CBT program and is at the PhD level.
A person like that can help. If they feel the anxiety is at a point where meds are needed, they will talk about that. But I suspect that the OP would know if he/she needed meds for anxiety.
If the OP goes to psychiatrist, they will just write a prescription for meds and send him/her on their way. The OP probably just needs someone who can help him/her with strategies to manage the anxiety. If OP is afflicted with debilitating panic attacks or something more severe, then meds may be warranted. But from the info in this post, he/she would benefit from some standard techniques that a CBT based Psychologist can provide, not meds (I have nothing against meds for the right purpose).
I don't have panic attacks or anything, and this is not something that happens often thankfully. I will look into that. We do have counselors at school so I will see.
Just to clarify, my suggestion had nothing to do with the OP taking meds - quite the contrary. For most, an evidence based cognitive intervention should be attempted first. That's what a licensed and competent CBT based therapist offers. A person who had real CBT training - not a few lectures or an online class or a seminar that taught them about CBT, but one who went through a real CBT program and is at the PhD level.
I second this. CBT is can be almost startlingly effective for anxiety and depression.
My FI and I share his car. He usually picks me up and drops me off, that's how I also get to school. Regardless even with his help it's still inconvenient. And it adds an extra burden to him and more time for me. The option of just walking 4 mins from home is of course much better.
Sharing isn't the same has having your own. Having one vehicle with a 20 minute commute sucks. Imagine the extra gas expenses as well as wear and tear in the vehicle. Take the job that doesn't require you to depend on someone else. Your FI (whatever that is) and you may not last.
I don't have panic attacks or anything, and this is not something that happens often thankfully. I will look into that. We do have counselors at school so I will see.
Never hurts to talk to someone of course but if I take the info in this thread and your posts at face value, it sounds perfectly normal. Especially given your age and stage in life.
You have a decision to make, it’s agonizing you to the point where it feels better to just drop it all. Dropping it all is easier, but that would not be the right thing to do. This is a good place for you and your development – it’s a place that won’t affect your life but will affect your development so you should use this as an area for growth and maturity. Don’t quit and drop it. Don’t shrink away. Keep it in perspective, make a decision, follow through. Maybe it’ll be a mistake, maybe not. You do the best with what you have. That’s what mature and grown up people do every day – get used to it. You can either use this moment as practice to get comfortable with dealing with life or shrink away into a cocoon if you aren’t ready (Hint: make yourself ready).
It's not unusual at your age to feel perplexed at decision making. After all it's something new for you. Your analytical skills will become better in time with more experience. G-confused post above is very good advice about not shirking away but moving forward. Just do the best you can right now and think what you'd tell someone else in the same circumstances.
A lot of us have been brainwashed by society and media and friends that everything in our lives has to be "perfect". So we constantly seek perfection and try to optimize every aspect of our lives and invariably come up short. And are plagued by 20/20 hindsight and how we could have taken a different decision and done things differently.
This is really a recipe for misery. See the positive side instead. Most people have to slog for months and then if they are lucky, they get one job offer. You have 3. Most people have to drive an hour one way as average commute. You get to walk to work.
So you are now working in a respectable law firm, have a decent job in which you can actually rise if you are able to demonstrate initiative, willingness to learn, and willingness to take on more responsibility. On top of it, you get to walk to work. I repeat, you get to walk to work!!
And as far as the work not being glamorous or exciting enough, trust me, hardly anything ever is. Even if the job title sounds super cool, chances are that you will only be doing exciting work 10% of the time. 90% of anyone's work is just routine methodical stuff.
As far as decision making is concerned, this really is analysis paralysis. We want the optimal decision, fear that we will end up making the wrong decision. Instead, it might be a better idea to just go with 1 or 2 positives, and then just ride out your decision. Especially with a job and with human relationship, I have seen that initial impressions and initial notions are often dramatically wrong. For all you know, you might completely hit it off with the other people in the firm, and work hard but also have a lot of fun and a good learning experience. Or not! But it is almost impossible to predict either way. So think of it as going to a new country. Some have a great time, some have a horrible time, some have life changing experiences in another country, some get really sick. But they all pay good money to get these new experiences. Here, the company is paying you
Anyway, just my two cents. Apologies in advance if I am off-base.
I wanted the start-up too! But then I started thinking of the distance/commute and I started leaning towards the other one. If the start-up was close to home too I'd have already said yes to them. Also, there were some things that made me suspicious about them. The founder of that business had another business previously that receive many customer complaints, was investigated for outsourcing jobs, lying about job creation, terrible reviews on Glassdoor, etc...Then this current company which he now owns is registered as a foreign company that can do business in CA. Isn't it a bit weird that it's registered as a Foreign company? Also, two years ago they had a document of dissolution as well. It all started to sound shady and my friends warned me against it.
Well, that changes things. Yep, it does sound shady. Makes it easier to accept the law firm job.
I understand what you mean about the references, but the employer told me they want someone to stay there in the long term, maybe even more than 2 years! Which realistically I know I won't because I hope to find something better in my field. So I'm pretty sure they won't give me a good reference if I leave for a better opportunity...
I am also concerned because I am able to now do 20-25 hrs in the summer but during the school year? I'm not sure. That means I will only have the mornings to study for school and it makes me nervous.
They are in business, if you do great work, they like you, and then if they are a good company they aren't going to give you a bad reference because you couldn't stay there for 2 years. It is all in how you handle it too. Also, attorneys understand going to college and time that's needed. So if there is a conflict with work and school, tell them about it to discuss how to work it out. Maybe someone else can cover for you. Maybe they can get a temp during those times. There are lots of options. If it becomes a problem later on and you can't work it out, you can always leave for another job.
But I wouldn't start out expecting problems that can't be handled. They could decide to replace you with someone full-time as their business might change. But you can't prepare for everything possible and worry about it. Attorneys are use to dealing with problems in their business and especially with their clients. They are resourceful as most small businesses.
I've never known a good business to stand in the way of someone completing their degree.
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