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What is this, Unreal Tournament 2016? Can you STOP throwing in that the OP simply HAS to go into the army to get anywhere. It's quite clear from his experience that he doesn't want even more drilling and yelling, and by this time ought to be receiving the benefits and worse of being an adult rather than attempting to be further infantilized, especially by people who are closing their hands around their ears and shouting "military! Military! It did me good! It made me a man!"
At 25 and on that wage, he should be more than comfortable having either an apartment or a room by himself. Yes I've known high paid men even solicitors to have rooms in some cities because the rent was so high and they were trying to save. The man needs to get his own roof for a change, get a car, cook for himself, and take the time to enjoy his own dough. Otherwise by this time he's always going to be living for others and their expectations. What's the point of that?
Don't worry about getting married or going out with friends, going on vacations, buying clothes, etc. You want to work and save money. Make sure you get a job with benefits, a pension of some kind. Look into a state, federal, county job. Pay is not the best but it is better than most, plus there are usually great benefits. Plus unless you are a total screw up you can't be fired. Just get your foot in the door. Or look at big companies that are well established. Take anything to get in, you can always move around later as jobs are posted.
Decide what you want to do and go back to college part time. If you saved enough maybe you can finish going full time and living off savings. (Don't quit government jobs- many times they don't rehire you). Some employers will pay for education as a benefit, so that will help.
You may also look into the military, tho that is not for everyone. But you will get training and an education.
I wanted to do that also out of high school but my parents went ballistic, (I had a very volatile, emotionally and physically abusive family- I still eat very fast out of habit because you never knew what would set off or when my father would swipe everything off the kitchen table during dinner) and kept telling me stories how all the women are lesbians and I will be repeatedly raped in the military. I was scared to death so I didn't question it.
You need to look out for yourself. You don't need to cut off your family, just don't listen to them, and make them aware that you will no longer take the abuse and negativity. Do it for you. Once you are more "with it" and have made a life for yourself, you can always rekindle family ties.
I just wish things worked out better for me. I can't begin to tell you how many times I think to myself, where would I be now if I had a "normal family". At least now-a-days you have the benefit of "speaking" with numerous ppl and getting suggestions thru sites like city data. I didn't have that.
I hope this helps.
I really agree with the bolded. Do a search for "government jobs". It's amazing the wide range of jobs that are available. It's true, you may not make as much as non-gov job (although I was shocked at the hefty salaries listed for many categories), but the pension, health care benefits, and job security add a lot more to that. The people I know with government jobs have much nicer lives than anyone I know. They have never gone through the insecurity of being laid off like my husband and I have multiple times when a company gets moved or bought out. Sure, when there are budget problems talks of furloughs/not getting paid come around but that is always resolved. Saving for retirement is not as dire to them because of their defined-benefit retirements where they are guaranteed a certain amount for life. If I could do it all over again I would go that route.
Unfortunately, I don't think there is such thing as a solid plan. With the extreme volatility of the markets, what was good today may not be good tomorrow. Anything can change in an instant. Just look at how the markets have responded due to the UK's departure from the EU.
That said, trying to figure out OP's passion is key. He has a job, and it pays decent for someone living at home. I would use this time to save as much money as I can. OP should be able to save 80% of his income and live on the rest. Also during that time, I think it would be good for OP to start exploring his options and interests, and building out a few different plans from there. I think what OP really needs to know is that life is constantly changing, so just find something that works for the time being and always be searching for that next big thing.
I agree things are often a moving target and that the world seems to be changing quickly. With that said, that's kind of always been the case. I started college in 2004 and finance was a hot major then...what happened by 2008? Those new grads were getting thrown to the sharks with all the expensive finance talent being laid off willing to work for cents on the dollar.
I really agree with the bolded. Do a search for "government jobs". It's amazing the wide range of jobs that are available. It's true, you may not make as much as non-gov job (although I was shocked at the hefty salaries listed for many categories), but the pension, health care benefits, and job security add a lot more to that. The people I know with government jobs have much nicer lives than anyone I know. They have never gone through the insecurity of being laid off like my husband and I have multiple times when a company gets moved or bought out. Sure, when there are budget problems talks of furloughs/not getting paid come around but that is always resolved. Saving for retirement is not as dire to them because of their defined-benefit retirements where they are guaranteed a certain amount for life. If I could do it all over again I would go that route.
I don't know why people push government like this panacea. It really depends on the government entity. The safety and security of *all* government jobs is a myth. There have been plenty of places where government has laid off just like anywhere else, and it's really sudden. Someone new is elected and entire departments and agencies can totally be wiped out. I've seen entire buildings emptied when a new governor is elected. My department has precisely 3 permanent employees in HQ who were there at the time the last department head was hired. Everyone else has been fired or pushed out.
What is this, Unreal Tournament 2016? Can you STOP throwing in that the OP simply HAS to go into the army to get anywhere. It's quite clear from his experience that he doesn't want even more drilling and yelling, and by this time ought to be receiving the benefits and worse of being an adult rather than attempting to be further infantilized, especially by people who are closing their hands around their ears and shouting "military! Military! It did me good! It made me a man!"
At 25 and on that wage, he should be more than comfortable having either an apartment or a room by himself. Yes I've known high paid men even solicitors to have rooms in some cities because the rent was so high and they were trying to save. The man needs to get his own roof for a change, get a car, cook for himself, and take the time to enjoy his own dough. Otherwise by this time he's always going to be living for others and their expectations. What's the point of that?
Exactly!
If I were 25 again, and in the OP's position, I would find a stable neighborhood with plenty of older, but well-maintained housing, rent a room -- not an apartment, and seek a job in one of the "fast-pace" distribution centers and warehouses that aren't subject to the "de-industrialization" scare. Then I'd pay a little more attention to the fine art of managing and working with people (something I didn't recognize early enough); places like this are every bit as diverse and color-blind as the military, and while you have to learn to accept an occasional combination of authority and stupidity, the system is a lot more flexible -- and people bond more quickly when challenged.
If the OP can get his self-esteem back, the rest should take care of itself.
Last edited by 2nd trick op; 06-28-2016 at 04:17 PM..
Getting your bachelor's is easy...but you don't "wonder" about grad school, especially getting your doctorate. A decent program will be hard to get into and writing a dissertation is grueling along with coursework and teaching responsibilities.
You need a lot more drive to get a PhD. so forget that - focus on finding a better job. Don't limit yourself to obvious choices, just realize you may need to sell your skills more than just the courses you took.
When all is said and done, the OP is the one who needs to find some incentive. Motivation comes from inside and he just doesn't have any. It seems that all his life, it's been easy for him; he didn't have to work really hard to get good grades, he just coasted through. So now he is floating along and singing the blues.
If you don't want to hear your parents carp at you, get out.
If you want to go back for a Masters degree, do it! If you don't want it, don't do but stop crying and blaming others. Do you think you're the Dumpster?
If you want a better job or better pay, work at it.
The days of getting something with little effort are over. To get what you want out of life, it takes work.
Tough message? You bet. I raised 2 boys and one coasted. I urged him to do more, put in more effort, but he didn't see the point. So when it was time for the real world, he learned what Mom had been saying. People see effort, not just results.
34K a year isn't exactly horrible, it's almost average in the current economy.
Years ago 34K was a poor salary, but not today in 2016. Salaries have stagnated or dropped
in real dollars due to Clinton's NAFTA, Obamacare, etc. You are living proof!
You never said what your occupation actually is though so it's hard to comment.
34K for a doctor would be very bad, 34K for a teacher might be OK.
34K a year isn't exactly horrible, it's almost average in the current economy.
Years ago 34K was a poor salary, but not today in 2016. Salaries have stagnated or dropped
in real dollars due to Clinton's NAFTA, Obamacare, etc. You are living proof!
You never said what your occupation actually is though so it's hard to comment.
34K for a doctor would be very bad, 34K for a teacher might be OK.
$34k is a ****ty salary in all but the cheapest places to live. Regardless, the OP still needs to move out.
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