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I try to juggle both. Thankfully we are a two parent household so either of us can effectively be there for kid-related issues. For serious issues, without a doubt the welfare of our children would come first. I would never put my job above being there for my daughters during their times of need, especially when it comes to thoughts of suicide/mental health issues. While we're at it, even if my daughters weren't children, we'd still be there for them.
Well, yes, as they should, but that doesn't mean I try to get off work for every single thing they do. I've missed many field trips, etc because I had something mandatory at work. But if it is a big deal, then yes they come first.
What if your child is 17 and you are taking a week off because she supposedly took pills and was in the hospital ( this happened more than once) or she had to bring her to the dr several times....or she was missing supposedly. And other issues.
Uh ya, I'd take off work if my kid was in the hospital for a drug overdose. You wouldn't?
Thanks, yes, sadly we do live in a culture now that does not really value family the way we used to. I could care less about being an employee of any company that would not understand family commitments and schedule boundaries. As long as your manager knows and agrees to your pre-agreed upon needs, there are no problems.
My company has been wonderful with flexibility, and the higher-ups have families, too. Being a Christian company may help with that. In any case, shame on anyone who expects a job to be more important than your family.
Smart and industrious folks can create/find/work out a situation that allows for making a living AND being there for your family.
I can't really agree with your first statement. It has nothing to do with valuing family or not. What has changed over the past couple of generations is simply that most moms aren't home full-time with their children anymore. My opinion is that no one should take a job unless they expect to be able to show up at least 99% of the time.
When someone is an employee of a company, they have obligations to that company. Every business exists to make money. Shareholders care only about profit; they aren't concerned about individual employees' family issues. And even beyond the profit aspect, think about jobs where people's lives depends on employees showing up and doing their job, like doctors, nurses, police, firefighters.
I worked and raised 3 kids, and it was a complete rarity for me to miss work because of my kids (a very few times in my entire life). I think most employers would be tolerant and understanding of a rare absence, but once a month like OP mentioned?! Nope, that wouldn't be acceptable to me as an employer or as a co-worker of such a person.
Now, if you happen to find a job that can be completely flexible, show up when you can, otherwise show up another day....fine, but I've never had such a position.
Some people think kids always come first and others feel you need to have back up and your job is the most important. I believe it's case by case basis. Once or twice a year if your kids get sick etc....understandable but when it starts to be almost a monthly occurrence I think it is too much. Especially when others have to cover your work. You start to believe if that person is even being truthful about their absences. Your thoughts?
In my case I was the "2nd babysitter" (Mom was first and she still worked) and so when my Sisters kids needed looking after, if Mom wasn't available, I stood in place.
I know that my Sister had it easy for raising the kids, people standing by her to help, the single parents need all the leeway possible. With no family to help, it's a tough and rough life.
Never will forget feeding her youngest who had a fever and was ill and caught the bug from him which laid me out for 2 days and had me staggering for 2 more....Luckily I had "Sick pay" and so I didn't lose out...
I can't really agree with your first statement. It has nothing to do with valuing family or not. What has changed over the past couple of generations is simply that most moms aren't home full-time with their children anymore. My opinion is that no one should take a job unless they expect to be able to show up at least 99% of the time.
When someone is an employee of a company, they have obligations to that company. Every business exists to make money. Shareholders care only about profit; they aren't concerned about individual employees' family issues. And even beyond the profit aspect, think about jobs where people's lives depends on employees showing up and doing their job, like doctors, nurses, police, firefighters.
I worked and raised 3 kids, and it was a complete rarity for me to miss work because of my kids (a very few times in my entire life). I think most employers would be tolerant and understanding of a rare absence, but once a month like OP mentioned?! Nope, that wouldn't be acceptable to me as an employer or as a co-worker of such a person.
Now, if you happen to find a job that can be completely flexible, show up when you can, otherwise show up another day....fine, but I've never had such a position.
Well there didn't used to be so many people having kids out of wedlock, so yes, there is a decline in traditional family values. Just look around. The tendency to care deeply about the welfare of your children has taken a big ol' backseat to work-among other things. It was not luck that brought me to my flexible job. It was me sifting through jobs until I found one that would allow the flex I wanted. That was a choice-with a lot of looking. I didn't just take anything.
The problem is that the workplace has to come to grips with the FACT that kids get sick, kids require parents to take time away from work in general.
If a company wants parents as employees (and if they don't there'd not be enough non-parents for all the jobs) then stop treating these kinds of absences as though they are UNEXPECTED. They are not at all unexpected but when there is no plan for them it becomes a mad scramble for everyone to figure it out. Parents are not unusual in the workplace. Kids needing stuff done during workhours is not unusual and not a surprise for anyone! Stop treating it that way.
As a country we need to figure this out instead of punishing one or both parents when SURPRISE! Jimmy is sick...again. Something that is fair to all, parents and nonparents. Sorry - I don't have any answers but it's time that businesses got real.
Geez..remember a couple decades ago when there were daycares in the workplace? What happened to that? Too much liability? Anyway, it was at least an effort and we need more of that effort now to come up with solutions.
The problem here is that your ability to keep your job and your kids go hand in hand, wouldn't you say?
In this day and age where US citizens have little to no employment rights or recourse yea its pretty much that way.
That's why we have a proliferation of gang bangers and drug dealers, mass shootings and other social problems. Unless you are working in the space program getting ready to launch a rocket or some other field that requires some form of extreme safety measures where screw ups kill someone then this whole lack of work life balance is really just the employers ego trip and they can get away with it because there are few laws protecting employees (who are also US citizens for the most part, or should be).
most of all jobs it is not the end of the world if someone leaves for 30 min or whatever and even in the other minority of jobs there are only certain phases of the job where you cant afford to be gone for any reason.
All the rest is pocket lining, ego trips and other nonsense. Employers trying to squeeze people for every last unit of energy.
Our country is sick and its only going to get worse and a lot of our social problems fall squarely on employers. People have less time and less capital to leverage then ever before and the kids pay for it. And when the kids get older the older people are going to pay when the chickens come home to roost.
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