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I work a regular admin position and I think I'm a pretty nice person. I'm always willing to help with whatever I can and get my job done. I'm just not interested in getting into deep conversation with my colleagues and I have zero interest in getting together outside of work. I was out one day a couple weeks ago due to a family emergency and my manager told everyone why I was out - this really annoyed me. I don't like my business being out there for everyone to know. I'm fairly new and I don't want people to know personal details of my private life. But I shouldn't be labeled unfriendly for that reason!
Some of these people have worked together a long time. I'm not a fan of cliques and I have no interest in being a part of one. I guess some comments have been made about me being somewhat quiet. I just don't care about what these people do outside of work to ask questions about their weekend and I can't fake it.
It sounds like you've already got this one under control. They feel like you don't care about them, and they're correct. That's good, right? If they know you don't want to be friends or chit-chat with them, that probably makes them more likely to leave you alone -- which is what you want, right? It sounds like you are fairly quiet, so it sounds like they already understand your situation.
The good news is you know that you don't care and don't want to. A lot of people who are shy DO care what people think about them, and that can be stressful for them -- they want people to like them, but they're not good at being outgoing/friendly. In your case, you really don't care about their personal lives or them liking you, so it should be much easier for you to just ignore their chit-chat, their cliques/friendships, and just do your job and go home.
In the future, share as little personal detail as you have to with your boss regarding sick days, etc., so that they do not have personal information about you to share with others. That's how I would handle that aspect of it, in addition to explicitly asking them not to share personal information the next time you have to tell them something personal.
It sounds like you've already got this one under control. They feel like you don't care about them, and they're correct. That's good, right? If they know you don't want to be friends or chit-chat with them, that probably makes them more likely to leave you alone -- which is what you want, right? It sounds like you are fairly quiet, so it sounds like they already understand your situation.
The good news is you know that you don't care and don't want to. A lot of people who are shy DO care what people think about them, and that can be stressful for them -- they want people to like them, but they're not good at being outgoing/friendly. In your case, you really don't care about their personal lives or them liking you, so it should be much easier for you to just ignore their chit-chat, their cliques/friendships, and just do your job and go home.
In the future, share as little personal detail as you have to with your boss regarding sick days, etc., so that they do not have personal information about you to share with others. That's how I would handle that aspect of it, in addition to explicitly asking them not to share personal information the next time you have to tell them something personal.
I don't dislike them but they aren't people I have anything in common with and wouldn't hang out with them in my personal life. I'm nice and I will listen to people tell me about their day but I guess they don't like that I don't talk about my life. I think it was really unprofessional of my boss to tell people why I was absent.
It sounds like you've already got this one under control. They feel like you don't care about them, and they're correct. That's good, right? If they know you don't want to be friends or chit-chat with them, that probably makes them more likely to leave you alone -- which is what you want, right? It sounds like you are fairly quiet, so it sounds like they already understand your situation.
The good news is you know that you don't care and don't want to. A lot of people who are shy DO care what people think about them, and that can be stressful for them -- they want people to like them, but they're not good at being outgoing/friendly. In your case, you really don't care about their personal lives or them liking you, so it should be much easier for you to just ignore their chit-chat, their cliques/friendships, and just do your job and go home.
In the future, share as little personal detail as you have to with your boss regarding sick days, etc., so that they do not have personal information about you to share with others. That's how I would handle that aspect of it, in addition to explicitly asking them not to share personal information the next time you have to tell them something personal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottsdaleMark
Have you told your boss how you feel about them sharing those details with others?
I work a regular admin position and I think I'm a pretty nice person. I'm always willing to help with whatever I can and get my job done. I'm just not interested in getting into deep conversation with my colleagues and I have zero interest in getting together outside of work. I was out one day a couple weeks ago due to a family emergency and my manager told everyone why I was out - this really annoyed me. I don't like my business being out there for everyone to know. I'm fairly new and I don't want people to know personal details of my private life. But I shouldn't be labeled unfriendly for that reason!
Some of these people have worked together a long time. I'm not a fan of cliques and I have no interest in being a part of one. I guess some comments have been made about me being somewhat quiet. I just don't care about what these people do outside of work to ask questions about their weekend and I can't fake it.
Unfortunately, even though you are a private person, you work with people. And people like to connect with other people.
One tip I give to people who like to be private is to find one area, that is not very personal, to share with your coworkers. This let's them feel like they are getting to know you, and eliminates the awkwardness that comes from not interacting enough.
This topic you share can be anything, but it makes it feel like you are an "open" person.
I don't share much personal stuff, but I do talk to my coworkers about things like museums, food, recipes, and movies. Some people talk sports. Some people talk about their hobbies. Other people talk about their pets.
When you open up about one topic, people feel like you are being open and they don't ask about other stuff. You can let them go deep on this neutral topic you are comfortable sharing. And keep everything else to yourself.
Here's the easy way to handle it...just let it go this time because if you have to set up a meeting just to talk about it, I understand that's stressful and making a big deal about it. So, next time you have to share something personal, just say something like this,
Hi, Mr. Smith, I am calling to say I won't be in because _______. Also, could you please not tell anyone; I would prefer people not know.
If you just say it really quick and simple, usually it's easier to get it out there without making a big deal about it. You said why you're gone and asked them not to tell. You don't even have to mention the time before. It's such a simple request it should be hard for them to have an issue with it. If they still want to be nosy or try to ask why they can't share, just repeat the same thing more or less. "I'm a private person and would prefer people not know."
Standard clerical and office staff support member.
A hospital or social admin usually has full authority over the running of the entity. They are basic chiefs amongst the Indians....an IT admin has authority to monitor adjust and modify the networking system...does that help ?
I wonder if you'd get that same type of criticism if you were male.
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