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Old 01-19-2017, 05:09 AM
 
Location: A State of Mind
6,611 posts, read 3,674,044 times
Reputation: 6388

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Quote:
Originally Posted by applej3 View Post
Sorry this happened, OP.

Do not quit.
File for unemployment immediately. They have to give a reason for terminating you.

Don't count on getting a good reference. What they promise and what they do are two different things.

"Courtesy"? Forget that. Don't kid yourself. They are not your friends.
OP, I agree with previous posters. Go ahead and file now, you will need the money which will come in a couple of weeks, I think. Even if you do get a job soon, your first paycheck would not be immediate. Your company is trying to talk you out of your benefits, which they don't want to be involved in..they sound like they are cheating you and are being shady. You can explain to EDD what happened and that you would have stayed there if this had not erupted.

Employment / workplaces involve the character of those around you and sounds like this arose due to someone else's personal dealings, that got you involved, but was not about your work. It is too bad that emotions and situations can become entangled in a work environment.

So do this, for both you and your wife, you don't need the added stress. Good luck with it all.
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Old 01-19-2017, 05:34 AM
 
283 posts, read 198,630 times
Reputation: 553
OP, You have to do whatever it takes to protect yourself and family. As others suggested, don't quit. Employers have no soul.
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Old 01-19-2017, 05:47 AM
 
Location: Richmond VA
6,885 posts, read 7,890,726 times
Reputation: 18214
Go to the unemployment office TODAY and find out. NY has pretty liberal unemployment insurance.
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:02 AM
 
1,585 posts, read 1,932,057 times
Reputation: 4958
Quote:
Originally Posted by cfbs2691 View Post
This!
And if they make you sign something write " under duress" where you have to sign your name.
How would they make him? Do not sign anything!
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:04 AM
 
1,585 posts, read 1,932,057 times
Reputation: 4958
Don't quit, file for unemployment, look for a new job, and learn a lesson about staying out of office politics especially when sex is involved. You put yourself in this position when you opened your mouth.
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:04 AM
 
9,394 posts, read 8,363,704 times
Reputation: 19208
If there is no severance being paid I would NOT submit my resignation. Let them terminate you and you should be good to file for unemployment benefits.
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:09 AM
 
3,271 posts, read 2,189,152 times
Reputation: 2458
Do whatever you have to do to protect your wife and child. If you have to, look outside of NY for work if you can find more long term stability for your family that way. Either way, my prayers go out to you and I hope that you can quickly find work and rectify your situation.
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:30 AM
 
Location: USA
2,740 posts, read 1,338,561 times
Reputation: 1675
I'm sorry you're going through this.


Personally, I wouldn't sign anything. I wouldn't believe anything "they" said they're going to do. I'd get that in writing - even that wouldn't be a guarantee. I'd get letter of recommendations now. They aren't your friends. HR is never anybody's friend. They're there to protect the company.


I'd talk to the people at the unemployment office - maybe even a lawyer.


Again - sorry. I hope you find something else quickly and you can put this mess behind you.
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:31 AM
 
Location: La Jolla, CA
7,284 posts, read 16,684,958 times
Reputation: 11675
Here is a tip. Never, EVER resign unless you leave with money and references in hand, or you already have another job waiting for you (or don't need a job). Resigning is worse than getting fired in almost all cases. Did you receive a written suspension or something that indicated you were to miss work? Being asked to consider their "offer" for a few days could be reformatted into you not showing up and getting fired for it. Believe me, HR is the sleaziest group out there and they are just conning you into releasing them from everything on their terms.

With respect to the reference, a promise to provide a good reference means NOTHING. "I don't know why he left" is not a good reference nor should his company ever afford him the occasion to tell anyone why he thinks you left. But that's a separate issue as he will likely be told he can't say anything about anything at a later date. So your good reference is almost certain to go down the toilet along with the job.

The employer won't deny UI because you will almost certainly have waived your ability to collect it in the first place, by quitting your job.

Here is another problem: Even a half-witted HR person at a future employer will already know that you got fired, whether officially or whether "forced" to resign. The fishy reason your boss offered would only either make it sound like you just walked off the job mid-shift or that there was some other bizarre circumstance, and people aren't going to want to touch that. Always assume the worst.

Now, I don't know your specific situation since I don't know if you effectively "skipped" a day of work without having something in writing. But I would carefully consider how you communicate (phone or email) so that it suits your needs, not your employer's. If you need written communication, then get it. If you want verbal communication, use it. If this happened to me, I would simply tell the employer that my attorney advised me that I was not to resign under any circumstances, and that they could pursue termination or I consider myself employed. That might not be the right angle for you. But I don't think you should resign.

Finally, it doesn't matter that you're in New York or any other state. You are almost positively an at-will employee anywhere you go.
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:35 AM
 
801 posts, read 615,512 times
Reputation: 2537
Quote:
Originally Posted by cfbs2691 View Post
This!
And if they make you sign something write " under duress" where you have to sign your name.
An ellipses means under duress. <signature...> Those three dots give it a different meaning.

However, he is not under duress; "No." is a complete sentence. He signs or what? Nothing. He'll have exactly the not-employed situation he already had before. That's not duress. Signing would be absolute madness.

To the OP, if you're willing to do this to keep your job: Report this situation to HR immediately, by email (not phone - no phone calls, where you cannot have control over the flow of the conversation), if you haven't done so already. And if not that, then reporting sexual harassment (of the supervisor/employee) anonymously to the state dept. of labor. Until then, you appear for work on time and work, until you are terminated.
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