So, an employer should hire you with no real CURRENT references, or not knowing where you work NOW.
But based on where you worked BEFORE now, how is the employer supposed to confirm that you do indeed do what you say you do NOW, and not where you were before now.
I'm as pro worker as the next person, but wanting someone to hire you with saying where you work now is crazy. I find it hard to believe that if the roles were reversed that the OP or any one defending his/her position would hire someone without the most current information. That's ridiculous.
The bottom line is as long as the employer has the job -- and you want the job you're going to have to do what it takes to get the job.
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The only reason employers get away with this is because of the teaming masses of desperate people who are unemployed but mostly under employed.
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I'm not saying the job market might not tighten up, but do I ever see a worker REALLY having the upper hand? Only those who manage to get a couple of offers at the same time….and even then the employer will usually always have SOMEone as a second choice.
If you don't need that employer's offer…they certainly don't need you…..