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Your boss was a virus who infected your coworkers. This is no different than high school bullying. Kids choose the side of the bully or they risk being bullied. Your coworkers felt they only had two choices -- 1) go against the manager and treat you with respect regardless of backlash or 2) be sucked into the gang mentality; which is the path of least resistance. Their choice really had nothing to do with you as a person but rather who your manager is as a person.
Thankfully you are out of that environment. I hope you find more comradeship in your next workplace.
For what its worth, more often than not the person who does the bullying is someone who has very low self esteem and self worth. The object of their bullying is sometimes a person they are envious of.
Unfortanetly, this is always the case. A bully will alienate you from your co workers. Once the boss starts talking poorly of you, everyone thinks it is ok.
You did the right thing, I applaud you. An environment like that will consume your day (and night) with stress and feelings of low self esteem. You did nothing wrong, I'm sure.
I worked in an environment like that for 7 months. After I started there the first day, I knew something was wrong, but decided to "stick it out" (worst decision I made).
I left a toxic work environment. I left mainly because my boss didn’t like me from the start- he didn’t want me hired and tried to rush me out of the interview, but the big boss hired me. On the first day, my boss said I was lucky to be there. He went for days at a time without speaking to me, walked around the room and talked to everyone else and made it obvious that he’s ignoring me. He literally walked in and greeted everyone except me, and left without saying good night. He would humiliate me in front of my coworkers, would yell at me over minor mistakes, and would correct me when I spoke.
It started with just him doing this, but then others joined in. I had to deal with my coworkers putting me down at work quite a bit. (ie: Coming up behind me at my desk and trying to startle or scare me by talking loudly; Making comments within earshot about me to outright making fun of me.) They’d whisper while I’m around, some flat out stop their conversations when I passed by them or laughed when I walked by. It got to be too much with too many people- if it was one or two people, I'd just ignore it, but it started to impact my work and general well being.
When I gave my notice, a coworker just laughed and told me to “get a sense of humor.†My boss started acting a little nicer to me (Why bother? Why start now?), but I overheard him trash talking me to other managers so I knew I made the right decision.
This was my first time being treated like this at work and I don't understand what happened. Were they trying to bully me out the whole time? Why was I hired in the first place? What type of person thrives in places like this?
How should we know what you did. Did you a have Hillary bumper sticker on your car?
Many places wouldn't hire because of that.
In any case, you did the right thing by quitting.
I am in Seattle as well and was mobbed by all male workers at my 37 year long profession at a racetrack (Horse). Women behind the scenes get hazed really badly in this industry anyway and I was in a region where I knew no one . One groom got angry that the boss hired me and not his cousin and made everything a living hell for everyone . Would leave the boss hanging, made it hard on the much older groom , would tell me to do things exactly opposite of what the head trainer told me to do .. I could go on forever .. I stuck it out a month and realized NOBODY talks or treats me that way in my own profession , finished up my chores and quietly left - cousin was hired but was scared of horses and left in a week . I now compete against him . He had no idea that I was more than a groom, I just thought Id take the honorable way up in a place where I was unknown . Wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by finalmove
How should we know what you did. Did you a have Hillary bumper sticker on your car?
Many places wouldn't hire because of that.
In any case, you did the right thing by quitting.
I don't like the default these days to "toxic environment" or "toxic people" for anything we are unprepared or unable to handle. Hopefully the OP will learn that as time and jobs proceed there will always be that problematic situation or person at every work environment and the solution isn't to run every time.
The solution is to use every problem presented to us as a learning experience so that we develop some resilience and problem-solving skills to unpleasant people and unpleasant terms. With practice and a little good choosing eventually we can enter situations which used to daunt us with some confidence that we have developed a set of tools to handle what used to be unmanageable.
About the third time my daughter changed jobs and called me with that old familiar tune, "I love my job but there's this one person here. . ." This is what I told her.
She still drops in to unload about the latest job problems and I've got a mom's listening ear. But now she tells me how she's planning on dealing with it and I think she's got the right attitude to succeed.
There are loads of self-help books on all kinds of interpersonal problems. And find a mentor. That will help a lot. Be prepared for constructive criticism and go for it, OP!
I left a toxic work environment. I left mainly because my boss didn’t like me from the start- he didn’t want me hired and tried to rush me out of the interview, but the big boss hired me. On the first day, my boss said I was lucky to be there. He went for days at a time without speaking to me, walked around the room and talked to everyone else and made it obvious that he’s ignoring me. He literally walked in and greeted everyone except me, and left without saying good night. He would humiliate me in front of my coworkers, would yell at me over minor mistakes, and would correct me when I spoke.
It started with just him doing this, but then others joined in. I had to deal with my coworkers putting me down at work quite a bit. (ie: Coming up behind me at my desk and trying to startle or scare me by talking loudly; Making comments within earshot about me to outright making fun of me.) They’d whisper while I’m around, some flat out stop their conversations when I passed by them or laughed when I walked by. It got to be too much with too many people- if it was one or two people, I'd just ignore it, but it started to impact my work and general well being.
When I gave my notice, a coworker just laughed and told me to “get a sense of humor.” My boss started acting a little nicer to me (Why bother? Why start now?), but I overheard him trash talking me to other managers so I knew I made the right decision.
This was my first time being treated like this at work and I don't understand what happened. Were they trying to bully me out the whole time? Why was I hired in the first place? What type of person thrives in places like this?
Contact U.S. Department of Labor https://www.dol.gov/
click on "contact DOL" upper right. Report this.
I am sorry that you experienced such hostility. That is totally unprofessional and it sounds like a horrible situation. I hope that you find something much better.
I don't like the default these days to "toxic environment" or "toxic people" for anything we are unprepared or unable to handle. Hopefully the OP will learn that as time and jobs proceed there will always be that problematic situation or person at every work environment and the solution isn't to run every time.
The solution is to use every problem presented to us as a learning experience so that we develop some resilience and problem-solving skills to unpleasant people and unpleasant terms. With practice and a little good choosing eventually we can enter situations which used to daunt us with some confidence that we have developed a set of tools to handle what used to be unmanageable.
I agree with you. You shouldn't always run from one bad situation or person. I found that no matter where you work there is always going to be that bad apple in the group. However, when the majority of the office - including your manager & especially your manager - has made your working environment uncomfortable with no end in sight for change, it becomes hostile. And hostile doesn't necessarily mean spit balls being thrown at your head. Being ignored is just as bad. No one wants to be where they aren't wanted.
But again, I don't think someone should bail at the first sign of trouble but as feeling, breathing humans there is only so much a person can take. The OP's threshold may not be as high as others. And that's OK, too. The OP stuck it out for as long as possible, hoping for change that never came. He did the mature and responsible thing by giving notice. If what he says is true, he took the high road.
With that said, Lodestar, finding a mentor is a great idea too!!
I agree with you. You shouldn't always run from one bad situation or person. I found that no matter where you work there is always going to be that bad apple in the group. However, when the majority of the office - including your manager & especially your manager - has made your working environment uncomfortable with no end in sight for change, it becomes hostile. And hostile doesn't necessarily mean spit balls being thrown at your head. Being ignored is just as bad. No one wants to be where they aren't wanted.
But again, I don't think someone should bail at the first sign of trouble but as feeling, breathing humans there is only so much a person can take. The OP's threshold may not be as high as others. And that's OK, too. The OP stuck it out for as long as possible, hoping for change that never came. He did the mature and responsible thing by giving notice. If what he says is true, he took the high road.
With that said, Lodestar, finding a mentor is a great idea too!!
I do agree with your opinion, ShanIAmVA. It sounded above and beyond what anyone should be expected to deal with.
JanND's suggestion was a good one.
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