Become your boss' boss. How do you deal? (real estate, work, office)
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I used to be part of a bridge team that worked directly under someone. He trained me with a lot of things.
Now I'm his boss. He remains the head of the bridge team, but I'd since moved on to project management.
Ever since this project started a couple months ago, he's been acting quite weird. Skipping meetings. Won't answer my emails or messages. He wouldn't even send his reports directly to me. He sends it through someone else.
I'm guessing he is resentful.
I don't want to make a big deal about this. So, for now I'm just letting it slide and do what I can.
How would you deal with this situation? And no, please don't say I should kick him off or something like that. This is not reality tv show.
If he is your direct report, have a sit down with him, and tell him what you have noticed, skipped meetings, emails/messages, find out what is going on. If nothing else it will show him you have noticed the drop in performance.
Do not bring up being resentful or the fact you are the boss now. Give him an opportunity to put into words why it has dropped, you are guessing it is resent, it might be something totally else.
If he is your direct report, have a sit down with him, and tell him what you have noticed, skipped meetings, emails/messages, find out what is going on. If nothing else it will show him you have noticed the drop in performance.
Do not bring up being resentful or the fact you are the boss now. Give him an opportunity to put into words why it has dropped, you are guessing it is resent, it might be something totally else.
I guess I should include why I'm guessing he is resentful. One time I managed to get him to answer his phone. I needed a report from him ASAP because it was already a couple days late. I needed it for the next meeting. He said he'll get it to me when he gets it to me. So, I said again I really need it by tomorrow. Then he said "*my name*, I don't work for you".
Next day, instead of emailing that report to me he gave it to someone else to give to me. Ever since then, he's been communicating to me via someone else.
Remember back in grade school when you were mad at someone. Even though he's right there, you would ask the person sitting next to him to tell him blah blah blah. That's pretty much what's happening right now. Even when he needs a decision that only I could make, he'd tell someone else to ask me and relay the message to him.
I'd have a sit down with him if I thought there could be something else going on. But at this point, I'm almost certain he's resentful.
Why did he say he doesn't work for you if you are his boss?
Beats me.
I know where you're going with this. I can easily pull out the authority card and do something about this. I'd rather not. Last month an adjacent project manager asked me if I could spare someone and I almost gave him to them. That would have effectively taken him off his own bridge team and fill a role of a newbie. I stopped myself from saying his name and instead sent a new guy over there.
You have to confront this head-on. I had a situation where I was made boss of a colleague and it was pretty awkward for a while but we hashed it out, I told him I got why he was not thrilled about the situation, but we had to work together. And after a certain time, if he still doens't come around then it's not going to work out and you have to move him or fire him. THings happen - there's no excuse for insubordination after an initial period of resentment.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I had the same situation when my boss was involuntarily demoted, and I got the promotion. In my case, it worked out well, she was OK with it and after a few months transferred to another location. As a project manager, are you his boss as far as the project, and he still reports to someone else for things like performance reviews and pay? We often have people from different departments such as Engineering, Maintenance and Real Estate on a project, with the project manager in charge of the project, but still everyone on it reports back to their regular manager.
Whether he is resentful or there is just something else going on, you have to get to the bottom of it soon. I would schedule a private meeting, with a subject that hints at the issue without being too negative. If he is there that day but doesn't show up for the meeting, then I would contact HR and let them know that you will be writing him up for insubordination, and ask for their advice.
It's common for PMs to think they're the boss when they aren't. You should make sure from your boss that you are, in fact, over this person in the org chart. If you are, I would direct him into my office, lay it out, and tell him he needs to get over it or find another spot. Further transgressions = go to HR for appropriate action.
And if he isn't your direct report, you need to fix this with him, because his attitude is going to poison morale and kill your authority. You cannot be a boss with people walking around saying you aren't... it gets everyone else on the bandwagon, too. Same course of action, except your tone is far more conciliatory than above. "Sorry for the misunderstanding, didn't mean to offend, olive branch, need to work together..."
when I had older fellas I would visit them one on one...
tell him "i have a problem and I want your opinion" with or without your help I need to fix this....but because I respect you I came to you first.... I don't want you to do it for me.....just want your experienced opinion..
now he has to be careful how he answers,,,because if he answers like a dick,,,,, you just walk away and hes made his own bed..
if he unloads on you,,,then you smile and say I had thought more of you ...and walk away
then next time someone needs someone give them him
50/50 chance he may be appreciative you came to him....and from then on he will respect you..
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