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Welcome to being an adult at work. People step on your toes, play passive-aggressive games with you, try to one up you publicly, and undermine your efforts.
Women do it to men, men do it to women.
I would NOT report any of this to management. It's petty and makes you look bad. Never tattle unless it's something really egregious or illegal. Just do your job better than everyone else.
And it amazes me how often people think that making your boss aware of a potential issue is "tattling". I let the boss know if a hard drive is catastrophically failing, because it impacts productivity. This is the same. You are not in grade school.
Location: In a city within a state where politicians come to get their PHDs in Corruption
2,907 posts, read 2,068,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sealie
And it amazes me how often people think that making your boss aware of a potential issue is "tattling". I let the boss know if a hard drive is catastrophically failing, because it impacts productivity. This is the same. You are not in grade school.
You're comparing apples to oranges. There's no indication that the productivity is impacted in Jade's case. Just typical political games people play every day. Your advice is comparable to me going into a doctor's office complaining of a headache, and him prescribing me Fentanyl. It'll help all right.
And, the fact, that the number one (cliche) advice on this board when someone complains of an issue at work is to either go to the Boss/HR/EEOC, just shows how we're becoming a nation where our cornerstone (individual responsibility) is being decimated piece by piece. A nanny state.
And it amazes me how often people think that making your boss aware of a potential issue is "tattling". I let the boss know if a hard drive is catastrophically failing, because it impacts productivity. This is the same. You are not in grade school.
Not even close. This is an interpersonal issue. Nothing really egregious is happening here, the guy is just being a jerk. No rules are being broken, no rights are being infringed upon. Feelings are not your employer's problem. And as a boss, there is nothing more irritating than petty interpersonal gripes.
If you don't want to put him in his place, nobody else is going to do it for you. If he questions your work, tell him he will catch up when he has more experience and end the conversation. Tell him you don't have time right now, but offer to request more training for him if he needs it. Do your job, which I am sure does not consist of catering to a partly trained and inexperienced new hire.
No co-workers to worry about these days. Only employees.
Oh...rabbit trail. My point is why would the people she works with not give honest feedback? Adults normally will let each other know if they think one of them is looking at things the wrong way. The fact that her coworkers (employees, staff, whatever) are supporting her observations means they are supporting her observations. They wouldn't find it necessary to humor her and condescend as if she is a psych patient they don't want to trigger.
OP: I have one of 'these guys' too, I suggested he go to someone else as I was trying really hard to concentrate on my own issue, he gave me a pep talk about how 'we all have learning problem areas'. He's just dumb though, I don't give it second thought.
Just remain neutral. You don't want to appear unhelpful, but unless this new guy is doing something to slow your production or prevent you from being promoted it's best to just detach instead of giving him the power to distract you.
Good luck
Location: In a city within a state where politicians come to get their PHDs in Corruption
2,907 posts, read 2,068,439 times
Reputation: 4478
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
Oh...rabbit trail.My point is why would the people she works with not give honest feedback? Adults normally will let each other know if they think one of them is looking at things the wrong way. The fact that her coworkers (employees, staff, whatever) are supporting her observations means they are supporting her observations. They wouldn't find it necessary to humor her and condescend as if she is a psych patient they don't want to trigger.
OP: I have one of 'these guys' too, I suggested he go to someone else as I was trying really hard to concentrate on my own issue, he gave me a pep talk about how 'we all have learning problem areas'. He's just dumb though, I don't give it second thought.
Just remain neutral. You don't want to appear unhelpful, but unless this new guy is doing something to slow your production or prevent you from being promoted it's best to just detach instead of giving him the power to distract you.
Good luck
Because as humans, our first instinct is to be empathetic, and agreeable when speaking with someone who is upset, rather than to be judgmental and honest.
Because as humans, our first instinct is to be empathetic, and agreeable when speaking with someone who is upset, rather than to be judgmental and honest.
Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she is presenting to her co-workers as 'upset'.
You're first instinct may be to be dishonest, and condescending, but this is not helpful.
It's definitely not the first instinct of all professional humans.
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My point is why would the people she works with not give honest feedback? Adults normally will let each other know if they think one of them is looking at things the wrong way. The fact that her coworkers (employees, staff, whatever) are supporting her observations means they are supporting her observations. They wouldn't find it necessary to humor her and condescend as if she is a psych patient they don't want to trigger.
He's just dumb though, I don't give it second thought.
