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1. No one cares about your life. They don't care about your dad, mom, brothers, sisters, or anyone else.
2. What ever happened to you is a memory that should not define what you can and can't do now. It is the past and belongs in the past. You need to stop dwelling on it. I know, that is going to be hard and you may need to see a counselor of some kind.
3. I don't think that there is a time limit for taking the bar. I do not know though. If you have completed Law school you are well on your way. Even if you have to take some more classes you are well on your way. I would complete this. Do not let anyone tell you that you can not do it.
4. Do not let anyone tell you that you can not do something. You are not the only one, many people take what happened to them in life and victimize themselves. You choose to become a victim. In effect what you are doing is saying that other people are right, you are letting other people determine what you are and have become.
Can you expound on this? How did they "scam their way back into your life"? Why can't you not answer their calls, block their emails, move and not tell them where? How and why did they force you to go back to copywriting?
I can explain it a little bit. Take my older brother -- he was a sadistic creep to me most of my childhood. After I got kidnapped, and escaped from it, he thought it would be funny to bring the guy who kidnapped me home, and my whole family thought it was a riot. My brother wasn't just sadistic to me, but to everyone, and at the end of high school the people he hurt and screwed over started retaliating against him. For good reason.
So he changed his tune and started acting like a Good Brother. Stood up for me against bullies, helped me get a job after high school to pay for dates with this woman I was courting. For years he convinced me that he changed, and he would proudly show me off to people that he was My Good Brother. He especially showed me off to the woman he married, and is still married to... I remember her telling me that she thought my brother didn't know who he really was, like, his personality was hard to pinpoint. If only she knew the truth.
Then after law school, when the fun started again, I asked him why he was acting like such a prick to me. I told him I thought we bonded, because I believed he changed. He laughed in my face and said, "you really believed that?" And my family helped him out with this, pretexting the whole relationship. They were close enough again to damage me, and since I was in a race against time to pick my life up from law school, they had me right where they wanted me. I'm talking like, a dozen calls a month to harass me from both of my brothers, my aunt would call me up at my desk at work to say **** like, "we're not gonna let you get away that easy."
Or my grandfather. He convinced me he was this completely different person than he really was. But he was just mirroring my own personality, my own interests, what I wanted out of a grandfather. He was a professional propagandist or something like that, so it was his line of work to be a chameleon like that, and he was damn good at it. He made himself out to be this totally different person than he really was, and he had really sophisticated manipulation skills. Last time I talked to him, when I tried to ask for help or advice out of this situation, he said "If I were you I'd go down to the hardware store and buy a rope to hang myself with."
That's how my cousin killed himself, and he grew up with the same people I did (minus my brothers and father), and he was the only person in my family I got along with. Funny joke, right? And he knows that I'm in this situation now because of everything he and my family intentionally and maliciously put me through, that they conned me and manipulated into luring me in to get close enough to do it.
Anyway, that's just one small example of it.
Quote:
Not true. Did you pass the bar? I know someone who was a paralegal for a long time, went to some night law school, passed the bar (I think after a couple of tries), and is an attorney. I have no idea what kind of practice he has, but that's on him.
I was never a paralegal, did internships. The issue is the time distance between graduation and now -- if he graduated from law school then quickly became an attorney, that's different. Maybe it's not totally hopeless. The only thing that matters now is that I get out of this.
This is a totally clean slate for me, it's true. Employers don't give a crap, though, they just see that I'm unemployed and pass me by. I've got a few more tricks up my sleeve, though, so I'll do that first, at least...
As the title says, my career is a total disaster right now, and I need to figure out what, if anything, I can to do fix this.
I'm unemployed and I'm going on interviews, and I'm starting to experience the repercussions of all of my bad decisions, of all the bad jobs I've had, of all of my bad habits, and it's really jarring. Not only that, but it's dangerous, too -- I need a job! And employers want nothing to do with me. I really don't blame them.
The last job I had I was at for 4 years and I was stuck in the same role, copywriting, where I did a very small and specialized task; it was at a big corporation, so everything was very compartmentalized. One interviewer seemed dismayed that I wasn't moving up into management, especially since I'm so old now. I learned next to nothing at that job that I can use in other jobs without the tech skills behind it that are in vogue. Copywriting roles seem to be considered kid jobs you're supposed to move up from, and I have not.
Before that I went to law school, and I did well in my internships, but that never took off because I had undiagnosed mental illness (abusive childhood, so not only did I get that, but I also get the stigmatizing label "mental illness" for what really should be called a "mental injury"... but the world isn't fair, of course.) My insane family scammed themselves back into my life and started tormenting me at my most stressful and trying moment, so I crashed and burned and went back to my old line of work, copywriting. I was good at law, but I graduated 6 years ago, and I hear that it's too late for me to be an attorney now.
Now I'm here, 34 years old, no useful job skills, no career progression, no management, no law, no network, nothing employers want. I'm a loser. I'm a total failure and disaster. I can barely get any interviews, and at the interviews they want technology skills that I do not have, and I'm not sure I even have the time to learn because I don't have the resources (and by resources, I mean the money I need to test them in the open market).
What the hell do I do? Everything just seems totally broken here and my life is an absolute disaster. And it sucks. And it's not fair. But that doesn't change the fact that I have to do something about it, if I even can at this point.
Is there any hope for me? Because I'm not feeling it. I think I'm done for here.
All right—I'm at lunch and almost done, so you get until I'm done. Then I have to work on my career.
"Hello everyone"
Hi!
"As the title says, my career is a total disaster right now, and I need to figure out what, if anything, I can to do fix this."
I was right there with you this year (and I've been there before). Keep going...
"I'm unemployed and I'm going on interviews, and I'm starting to experience the repercussions of all of my bad decisions, of all the bad jobs I've had, of all of my bad habits, and it's really jarring."
Is this about your job, or your personal decisions? Or decisions related to your job? Be specific, write them down and try to understand what sort of dynamic you're creating for yourself. Annnnnnd... you might be surprised at what you uncover that's both negative and positive.
"... employers want nothing to do with me. I really don't blame them."
What sort of employers? Ones who run companies that you have no business applying to, or ALL of them? BY "ALL" I mean, "ALL." Like, places that would keep you afloat while you make a career change.
"The last job I had I was at for 4 years and I was stuck in the same role, copywriting, where I did a very small and specialized task..."
Four years at the same job is a pretty good thing to have on a CV, unless you burned that bridge on Day 365 x 4. I worked in advertising—copywriting skills are easily parlayed into other communications-based jobs. Clearly you have to have a creative streak, work under stress and deadlines, and be flexible.
"it was at a big corporation"
Which means it's a job reference from someone people have heard of, and you'll likely have connections to find another job.
"One interviewer seemed dismayed that I wasn't moving up into management—especially since I'm so old now."
You're not old.
"tech skills"
You need tech skills for copywriting? Are you doing graphic design as well?
"My insane family scammed themselves back into my life"
Nope, you let them in—but that's another concern.
"I was good at law, but I graduated 6 years ago, and I hear that it's too late for me to be an attorney now."
Well how can you tell if you were "good" at law? You stopped before you did it. As far as being "too old," I'm not sure who you're getting your advice from, but I've known a number of people who started law school well into their working career.
"I'm a loser. I'm a total failure and disaster."
Well, yes. That's why the only way for you is up, if you're at rock bottom. So at least you have that to look forward to.
"I can barely get any interviews, and at the interviews they want technology skills that I do not have"
"I'm not sure I even have the time to learn"
"I don't have the resources (and by resources, I mean the money I need to test them in the open market)."
Well then why aren't you filling out an application for a community college, where they teach tech classes (which I've taken myself, so I know they teach them), and that way you can take the skills you DO have and combine them? It sounds like you have time to learn them if you're unemployed.
I'm not really sure what "test them in the open market" means, but basically here's how what you're describing goes:
You stop working
You find a job to keep you afloat (or live off your savings)
You apply for a school loan
You research the schools and the market to see what you need to take
You go to school and get the skills you need
You do another internship to get your foot in the door
You land a job
and then somewhere in there is "You decide to remove negative distractions instead of whining about them."
"And it's not fair."
Nope, it's not. Deal with it.
"Is there any hope for me? Because I'm not feeling it."
I dunno. Only you can answer that one. But I can tell you that people have their own problems and are trying to keep themselves afloat. You worry about you. And that includes dealing with your family BS.
That's ultimately what I have to do. Thanks for the run down. It's too easy to fall into the abyss with this stuff. "Yeah, my family conned me so they could burn my life to the ground and drive me to suicide. Yet another mysterious, covered up death in my family." I mean, right? I'm 99% certain that my family tried to murder me, not just as a kid, but as an adult, too. God damn that's some insane stuff.
But it doesn't matter. The world doesn't make allowances for things like that. I'm alive. I could be approaching this problem way differently. The assertive, focused way is what I need to try now ... there are so many things I can be doing that I'm not right now.
I can explain it a little bit. Take my older brother -- he was a sadistic creep to me most of my childhood. After I got kidnapped, and escaped from it, he thought it would be funny to bring the guy who kidnapped me home, and my whole family thought it was a riot. My brother wasn't just sadistic to me, but to everyone, and at the end of high school the people he hurt and screwed over started retaliating against him. For good reason.
So he changed his tune and started acting like a Good Brother. Stood up for me against bullies, helped me get a job after high school to pay for dates with this woman I was courting. For years he convinced me that he changed, and he would proudly show me off to people that he was My Good Brother. He especially showed me off to the woman he married, and is still married to... I remember her telling me that she thought my brother didn't know who he really was, like, his personality was hard to pinpoint. If only she knew the truth.
Then after law school, when the fun started again, I asked him why he was acting like such a prick to me. I told him I thought we bonded, because I believed he changed. He laughed in my face and said, "you really believed that?" And my family helped him out with this, pretexting the whole relationship. They were close enough again to damage me, and since I was in a race against time to pick my life up from law school, they had me right where they wanted me. I'm talking like, a dozen calls a month to harass me from both of my brothers, my aunt would call me up at my desk at work to say **** like, "we're not gonna let you get away that easy."
Or my grandfather. He convinced me he was this completely different person than he really was. But he was just mirroring my own personality, my own interests, what I wanted out of a grandfather. He was a professional propagandist or something like that, so it was his line of work to be a chameleon like that, and he was damn good at it. He made himself out to be this totally different person than he really was, and he had really sophisticated manipulation skills. Last time I talked to him, when I tried to ask for help or advice out of this situation, he said "If I were you I'd go down to the hardware store and buy a rope to hang myself with."
That's how my cousin killed himself, and he grew up with the same people I did (minus my brothers and father), and he was the only person in my family I got along with. Funny joke, right? And he knows that I'm in this situation now because of everything he and my family intentionally and maliciously put me through, that they conned me and manipulated into luring me in to get close enough to do it.
Anyway, that's just one small example of it.
I was never a paralegal, did internships. The issue is the time distance between graduation and now -- if he graduated from law school then quickly became an attorney, that's different. Maybe it's not totally hopeless. The only thing that matters now is that I get out of this.
This is a totally clean slate for me, it's true. Employers don't give a crap, though, they just see that I'm unemployed and pass me by. I've got a few more tricks up my sleeve, though, so I'll do that first, at least...
You should start listening to the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast and join a support group. In fact, perhaps you should go on the show and tell your story. You are hardly alone and meeting others with a similar life experience could help.
You should start listening to the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast and join a support group. In fact, perhaps you should go on the show and tell your story. You are hardly alone and meeting others with a similar life experience could help.
Once I get a job I'm going to do this. I was afraid to for a long time because I knew I was really easily exploitable because of this stuff, and I was afraid of support groups attracting predators.
I had an interview today with a company. It was for a Customer Service Job but I tried to pitch them my copywriting skills in the cover letter -- and it worked! Sort of. They want me to do digital marketing that I only have a little bit of experience in. But I can double down on it and work my ass off to learn it, or continue to drown in despair. I don't know what I'm going to do.
I don't know that going back to school would help especially if you have to take on debt. It sounds like you may benefit from counseling/therapy to help resolve what your family did and to help you completely, totally and utterly until the end of time distance yourself from them. IMO that should be your number one priority. What you posted is hard to believe. I'm not saying it didn't happen but my first inclination is to say, this can't be real. Assuming that it did happen, what you describe is awful and IMO talking with a professional to help you deal with it would be the first step.
I would also consider taking the bar anyway even if you don't have a law job lined up. It can't hurt you to be able to add that to your resume. Assuming of course that you have the time to study and the money for the exam fee. If not, I'd put it on hold to when you have both of those things.
Finally, you could look into contract administration. I think your legal background would be helpful for that type of job.
I'm not saying it didn't happen but my first inclination is to say, this can't be real.
How do you think I feel? This is why it's gone on for so long, I just couldn't believe it was real, and they were more than happy to tell me that it wasn't real, too. But no. My family has ****ed over a lot of people, and there are many who will vouch for me on this. These are real people, and these are real things that happened.
I graduated, and I won a bunch of hearings in my internships, even one my supervisor said was "impossible", and he got a little pissy that I was able to pull it off! So yeah, I was pretty damn good at it. But I'm 6 years out now, and the attorneys I've talked to said there's a 0% chance anyone would hire me this far out. The only option is to set up my own shop, and I don't have the capital for that, because I'm about to end up on the street.
I'm looking for other copywriting jobs right now, because that's the last job I had, and seems the likeliest role I can get immediately. The problem is, being unemployed means employers want nothing to do with me. When I was employed at my last job I had to fight recruiters off with a stick. Now it's nothing, and it's not like I've lost any of the skills I had in my previous role.
As far as the future goes, I wish I could be an attorney, but prospects for that look really grim. Maybe something in business. I'm focused primarily on getting a foothold before I take my next step. This is the first time in my life I've really been "on my own", so I have a lot of exploration to do. I've spent my whole life being an object abused by people, as ****ed up as that is, and I only figured it out after having a brush with death because of it about a year and a half ago.
Have you tried applying for paralegal jobs? A number of the paralegals in my bf's firm are attorney's who aren't currently practicing law for whatever reason. In my city they earn good money, generally more than a basic copywriter, and working in the legal field would allow you to make connections that could lead to future law work.
I graduated, and I won a bunch of hearings in my internships, even one my supervisor said was "impossible", and he got a little pissy that I was able to pull it off! So yeah, I was pretty damn good at it. But I'm 6 years out now, and the attorneys I've talked to said there's a 0% chance anyone would hire me this far out. The only option is to set up my own shop, and I don't have the capital for that, because I'm about to end up on the street.
I'm looking for other copywriting jobs right now, because that's the last job I had, and seems the likeliest role I can get immediately. The problem is, being unemployed means employers want nothing to do with me. When I was employed at my last job I had to fight recruiters off with a stick. Now it's nothing, and it's not like I've lost any of the skills I had in my previous role.
As far as the future goes, I wish I could be an attorney, but prospects for that look really grim. Maybe something in business. I'm focused primarily on getting a foothold before I take my next step. This is the first time in my life I've really been "on my own", so I have a lot of exploration to do. I've spent my whole life being an object abused by people, as ****ed up as that is, and I only figured it out after having a brush with death because of it about a year and a half ago.
Have you considered working with an Indian tribe as an attorney? That may be a feasible entry into the field you seem most interested in...
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