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Location: In a city within a state where politicians come to get their PHDs in Corruption
2,907 posts, read 2,067,392 times
Reputation: 4478
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dopo
In a way you are right, but I think it goes farther than that
It's not my opinion that she's concerned about, it's the people above
But I think she tries so hard, that she "steps on people" to give the impression that she wants to give.
I've noticed that to seem smart, she constantly criticizes things .... every now and then I throw it back saying "Since it's bad ... tell us how to fix it?" .... she got no answer for it.
Similar to the people that tell you "Ford/Chevrolet is a piece of junk"
But they can't tell you exactly why they say that
I get it. I've dealt with my fair share of people such as her. Often middle aged, chip on the shoulder, "proud to be b***h" attitude.
Follow my advice. She can be of enormous help, once she sees that you're genuinely working with her. Try it. Lot better than going to HR. People like her are much more skilled at playing the game, and have more bullets than you do.
Location: In a city within a state where politicians come to get their PHDs in Corruption
2,907 posts, read 2,067,392 times
Reputation: 4478
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dopo
I have to agree with that
somehow, she becomes friends with higher ups very fast and always knows things before everybody else does
Therefore, she can help you, or hurt you. People like her are an invaluable resource to have in your pocket. But, you have to be genuine. She can smell BS from mile away.
I agree, it could be a man or a woman
except that with a man, we would have cursed each other out, not talked for one week and then we would have been friends
in this case, it has been dragging on for years and if I dare to go off, I bet I would be in deep s...
I agree, gender has nothing to do with it. Does she only treat you this way or is this her general manner with everyone? And why on Earth have you let it drag on for years?
How do you deal with a disrespectful female coworker?
I have a coworker that I find very disrespectful
It took me a long time to notice it, because she's a woman
My male coworkers are always very respectful
That's when I began to see how disrespectful she is
To put it in few words, she always talks to me as if I was her son
Always belittle any issue I have and try to tell me how to do my job ... even though she knows nothing about it
everybody complains about work, she complains about work just like anybody else
When I complain about my work, she always says "We are all going through the same thing"
Anytime I tell her an issue with my work, she tells me "You need to ... and make sure that you ...." even though I know it's not my fault, but somebody else
Anytime I tell her how to do something, she says "Anyways" and moves on to say how she wants things to be done
Sometimes talking to me, taps the desk with her nails as saying "I want things done this way"
Other times she is going to show me a piece of paper and snaps it before showing me something
Based on her ....
All my issues at work are my fault
All her issues at work, are other people's fault
Keep in mind,
My male coworkers are the complete opposite
To the point that i feel they call me "Sir" way too much
If she was a man, I would have told her to go Mod cut. a long time ago
Obviously, I can't say that ... and I bet she knows that and takes advantage of it
Quote:
Originally Posted by va_bank
At first I thought this was a poem.
But seriously, go talk to HR. There's two reasons for this: 1.) They may actually help you deal with it 2.) Your visit will be recorded and if there's an unexpected altercation, the record will show that you have complained and tried to resolve the situation the right way which will make BIG difference when they are deciding who to fire.
How is she being disrespectul? You are talking to her and she is talking back to you? Just because she doesn't take your side doesn't mean she is disrespectful! And if you go to HR they'll laugh you out of the room (well, they'll wait until you're out of the room). You have NOTHING on her. She's not your boss so unless your boss has told you to follow her direction you can do what you want.
If you don't like her answers stop asking her! Stop talking to her at all. If she talks to you just nod and make excuses to get away from her. That's what ADULTS do when they have to get along with people they don't like. They don't run to HR and make fools of themselves and put their own jobs in jeopardy.
For the people that are on her side ...
Here's one that happened and created a mess
99.99% of the products we sell are .... let's call them "Type A, B and C"
0.01% of the products is "Type D"
We got asked to make a new line of this products
Several of us agreed that we should only include "Type A, B and C" and remove "Type D" (Adding Type D increases the sizes of most parts)
She pushed for "Type D" to be included because
"She wants all the models to be done, so she doesn't have to redo her work later in the future"
It all sounds nice and pretty
Except that including "Type D" affected the equipment we designed because that one model, takes larger parts.
A lot of things had to be oversized, created A LOT of problems that we are still trying to fix.
Why?
Because this person pushed to have "Type D" included that we almost never sell
Now you ask about it, and she'll say that "X person that already left was the one that made that decision"
But I have an email proving that that's not the case.
All this says is that you have a weak boss. Why was this up to her? Why was her PROPOSAL not taken to management for a final decision? If they sided with her then that is their problem - and yours - but don't blame the woman - blame your boss!
at my last job we had a woman that was doing this to another woman and she had a small tape recorder which when she saw the snarky woman coming she turned it on, and good thing too because this snarky woman told her to get up off her lazy a** and help her . Hr was going to tell her to learn to get along until she mentioned the tape recording . The one boss in charge said he would like to hear it and they did . The next thing we knew she was being escorted kicking and screaming and cursing while being escorted out the door with a box of her stuff in hand . I think maybe you should record this woman as well OP and please let us know how it turns out .
Unless you are equal or senior to her, don't talk to HR. I worked in HR for a large institution a couple of years ago and they were very proud of the fact that all disputes had been settled in favor of the senior party.
Professional ethics typically requires that you first discuss the issue with the party with whom you have a dispute. Although it will be difficult, invite her to meet - perhaps over coffee -
Bad idea. Do not spent any time with her alone, especially not outside of the workplace, or you will be falsely accused of sexual harassment.
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