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Old 03-16-2008, 06:20 PM
b75
 
950 posts, read 3,455,804 times
Reputation: 338

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Like I said I'd consider a consultation(which is cheap) with a legal expert (aka a lawyer) so I know specifically how to best get my ducks in a row & the methodical avenues I should pursue; especially for CYA purposes.

I wasn't saying to sue at all, rather if things got really bad & I wanted to pursue it further I might consider going to some various public agencies including the DOL (that is if HR didn't do what it was supposed to do). And if you have everything together you will be more likely to be successful at some point in the process (hopefully sooner rather than later).

Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
A consultation might not be expensive but hiring is expensive and will most likely be a waste of cash. Your settlement over that minor comment will be so small even if you do happen to win. The settlement will not even cover the attorney bill, as is true in so many cases.
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Old 03-16-2008, 07:20 PM
 
451 posts, read 1,224,703 times
Reputation: 216
One last thing I wanna add, is why is everybody suggesting going balls to the wall. If you come out too strong and don't get the desired outcome your only choice is to quit. Try to work out a soulution so its a win/win for everybody instead of going stright to a win/lose or a lose/lose situation. I say start with a informal process, then starting moving up the creek. I'm guessing this guy is a punk and will back down if you show him your not afriad by confronting him letting him know you have a problem with the way he talks to you.
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Old 03-18-2008, 10:27 AM
 
48,505 posts, read 96,483,446 times
Reputation: 18301
I thnik the first thing is to realise that people like that mentioned are just plain unhappy themselves. The second is to realise that his opinion is not at all important. There are always persons like him.In fact I would say that he would not bother if he did not view you as a threat to him.Next time just tell him frankly that you could careless by sayingsome mild like ;someone having a bad day;maybe a good hair cut a change would help. then leave and go over to others. Others probably have the same opinion of this guy. he also is probably one that like to cut down the boss behind his back. Wgat goes around will come around i the end.
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Old 03-18-2008, 10:50 AM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
49,970 posts, read 63,287,500 times
Reputation: 92419
Sounds like he's just an ignorant lout, or a mental case. Unfortunately, there's no law against that.
I wonder, are there other people around you who heard what he said? Is this person saying odd things to others also? Are you being targeted by others besides him? I need more info.
If this guy is the only problem, then he's probably acting weird to others as well. You should get some allies at the company and all make a game out of making a list of the stuff this guy says and does that is inappropriate. If he gets wind he's a subject of ridicule, I bet he'll get his s**t together.
I'd rather see you try using your wits and feminine wiles to get one over on him than to go whining about sexual harassment.
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Old 03-22-2008, 10:09 PM
 
19 posts, read 72,557 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catrinac View Post
I've posted about my abusive workplace before and many kind people replied. A couple of people said I should grow a thicker skin and I should. That said, here is the latest situation: I got my hair cut at a good salon on Monday. My hair is a little fried from overcoloring but in general is not too bad. It's also a thinning a little from stress. The stylist cut an inch or so off and added bangs which I think is a nice change. It's about shoulder length, reddish brown, and not perfect but certainly not gross or anything. I go to great lengths to blow dry it well and was feeling so much better about how it was looking post cut. About half way through the day a co worker came up to me before a meeting and I asked him what it was going to be about. He said, "You, your hair, and how it sets such a bad example." I was floored! My hair is far from perfect but I actually got a compliment on the change and thought people would acknowledge that at least I did something about it. I don't think I can work with this man and am not sure what I should do.
Catrinac it sounds to me as though the comment is so extraordinary, he must surely have been joking and you didn't take the joke! You should have laughed it off. As if a workplace meeting is going to be about your hair! Even if he was joking awkwardly, or even if he was NOT joking, you had the option of responding as though you were assuming it was a joke. Thereby taking any power to hurt you away from him. If you love your hair, be confident about it. If you've had compliments, believe in those.
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Old 03-22-2008, 11:31 PM
 
Location: Southern California
3,455 posts, read 8,308,668 times
Reputation: 1419
Quote:
Originally Posted by GinnyDesta View Post
Catrinac it sounds to me as though the comment is so extraordinary, he must surely have been joking and you didn't take the joke! You should have laughed it off. As if a workplace meeting is going to be about your hair! Even if he was joking awkwardly, or even if he was NOT joking, you had the option of responding as though you were assuming it was a joke. Thereby taking any power to hurt you away from him. If you love your hair, be confident about it. If you've had compliments, believe in those.
I agree, it really sounds like it was meant to be a joke.
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Old 03-23-2008, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque
2,296 posts, read 6,263,393 times
Reputation: 1108
Default Friday was his last day!

The official story is that he was thinking of "quitting for a while anyway". I saw my boss talking to him earlier in the week. He might have been asked to leave, I'm really not sure. I was happy about it but got the feeling Friday that the female boss who fired him might be mad at me, like I had somehow "caused" him to have to leave. Either way I am relieved.
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Old 03-19-2009, 10:58 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,141 times
Reputation: 10
Go for litigation. I have been at my job more than 20 years, have seniority to almost everyone. I am continually harassed because I am a woman in a "man's job". You would not believe the crap these guys pull. and because all of the higher ups are male, also, complaining to anyone would only make my life more miserable. I have spoken to other women in my same situation. some have litigated. some have won. all have been put through hell even when right is on their side.one woman's husband left her and took the kids (who by that time hated her because of all the stress related tension in the house), she had a nervous breakdown. but she WON her case. big whoop.she hasn't seen the money awarded to her yet.... that said, any occupation-- outside of mine-- should respond to an attorney or to promise of litigation--if you have the stuff to back it up. I wish I had some other recourse than to just wait until I can retire. and now, with our new economy crap, I can't even afford to do THAT.
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Old 03-19-2009, 11:03 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,400 posts, read 8,004,231 times
Reputation: 2871
Quote:
Originally Posted by catrinac View Post
He said, "You, your hair, and how it sets such a bad example." I was floored! My hair is far from perfect but I actually got a compliment on the change and thought people would acknowledge that at least I did something about it. I don't think I can work with this man and am not sure what I should do.
And a snappy comeback would be, "You, your face, and scaring small children. Now get out of my way, we've got a meeting to attend."
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Old 03-19-2009, 11:45 PM
 
2,365 posts, read 11,103,002 times
Reputation: 696
Quote:
Originally Posted by GinnyDesta View Post
Catrinac it sounds to me as though the comment is so extraordinary, he must surely have been joking and you didn't take the joke! You should have laughed it off. As if a workplace meeting is going to be about your hair! Even if he was joking awkwardly, or even if he was NOT joking, you had the option of responding as though you were assuming it was a joke. Thereby taking any power to hurt you away from him. If you love your hair, be confident about it. If you've had compliments, believe in those.

No, he was being rude!!!!

What else is there to say, except plot to hire hells angels to cut his liver out.

If not that, then you just have to ignore him and threaten to pull his toupee off, if he decides to be rude.

HOWEVER, unfortunately you have to say mean things in a funny, nice way...

if you can pull this off, then go for it,

if you cannot, then just ignore him.

yes, people will smirk,,but they will also distrust him/her.

i have a similiar problem...... and I would give as good as i get and a little more...but that is me and I don't necessairily advise it.

good luck...!!!

p.s. don't discuss it with co-workers only with family and us, since your co-workers will want to avoid it or laugh it off....since they don't want to be the next chicken in the road, run over by this guy. Beware of those who commiserate, since they will in the end, just want to avoid it, laugh it off or get you even more riled up and into trouble or worse psychoanalyze you, the guy and the situation, which will just exasperate you even more.
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