Should I ask my supervisor this question or just forget about it? (employee, job)
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I been noticing that she has a habit of telling me everything I am doing wrong but never what I do well. It's almost like you are not allowed to be human and make any mistakes at all while working here which is just crazy. I want to ask her so bad in a pleasant way what do you feel I do well in my position? It's been times I wanted to say this to her after her nitpicking about the smallest things, "you know when I took this job I had no idea I had to be perfect"
So should I just continue doing what I am doing and now worry about asking her that question? I have to be doing something well to be here three years without a write up and a recent performance bonus.
Anyone ever have a supervisor like this? always focusing on the negative?
Very few managers/supervisors will pat you on the back for doing your assigned work. You are there to do a job so do it well and when you don't you will hear about it.
It's a reasonable question, but you do need to ask it in a pleasant way. Your OP shows that you recognize this, although the temptation to be a bit snarky is also there the way I read your post.
All managers should have regular meeting with their reports. In those meetings you should discuss the status if projects, what is going wrong, and what is going well. Positive reinforcement and acknowledgment of competence goes a long way in establishing a positive working relationship.
MLS is a bit tone deaf to human interactions if s/he doesn't understand this.
It's a reasonable question, but you do need to ask it in a pleasant way. Your OP shows that you recognize this, although the temptation to be a bit snarky is also there the way I read your post.
All managers should have regular meeting with their reports. In those meetings you should discuss the status if projects, what is going wrong, and what is going well. Positive reinforcement and acknowledgment of competence goes a long way in establishing a positive working relationship.
MLS is a bit tone deaf to human interactions if s/he doesn't understand this.
Maybe I should just accept that is her personality and not concern myself with it anymore. It would be nice to have a positive working relationship with her instead of all the nitpicking.
It's a reasonable question, but you do need to ask it in a pleasant way. Your OP shows that you recognize this, although the temptation to be a bit snarky is also there the way I read your post.
All managers should have regular meeting with their reports. In those meetings you should discuss the status if projects, what is going wrong, and what is going well. Positive reinforcement and acknowledgment of competence goes a long way in establishing a positive working relationship.
MLS is a bit tone deaf to human interactions if s/he doesn't understand this.
I think MLS is correct that far too many employees want praise for doing what's expected at bare minimum. I've had a few that wanted praise just for showing up.
Positive reinforcement is great but there seem to be an awful lot of people who take every correction as a negative. It's difficult to help those people to learn and grow when they see every suggestion as a criticism of the way they do things. Yes, people make mistakes and they need to understand it's not the end of the world if those mistakes are pointed out so they can be corrected and learned from. In some cases it may be the method of pointing them out that might need to be worked on, but that's not always the case.
My last boss and I didn't have a good relationship. For the last year I worked for her, nothing I could do was ever good enough for her. Meanwhile colleagues would consistently give me positive feedback, so I knew I was doing a good job, she and I just did not have a good working relationship. I am not at all averse to the idea of critical feedback, as long as it's couched with positive (assuming there is positive to give).
My current boss (been in new role/company 3.5 months now) does provide constructive criticism, but also lets me know when I do things that she appreciates/likes. It's crucial during a training/on boarding process to know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. Not all managers are great at this kind of communication though.
fishbrains has good advice. If you approach the conversation in a pleasant way, during a regularly scheduled 1:1 with your manager, it shouldn't be taken the wrong way at all. However, if you go about it in a snarky way, then you just look childish, and that's not going to help.
I think MLS is correct that far too many employees want praise for doing what's expected at bare minimum. I've had a few that wanted praise just for showing up.
That isn't what I said, sorry if I wasn't clear.
I don't mean to imply that managers should praise people for doing standard stuff, although if you are inclined to do so it doesn't hurt.
But employees who work in a void won't be terribly productive either. If your job is to do A, B and C, and all you hear about is complaints about C, you might need to improve, or you might not. If your manager doesn't put those complaints into context, you don't know if this is a big deal or not. Similarly, you may be amazing at A, putting in a huge amount of time, but if A isn't that important to your boss, you may be putting in too much effort.
Part of an employee's job is to make their boss look good (supervisors have a reciprocal responsibility, but that is for another thread). If the supervisor doesn't give feedback to their direct reports as to what they are thinking, the employee cannot anticipate future needs and address them. An example of this might be an employee who always responds well to angry customers. The boss likes how this employee does it, but since it is part of the job, never acknowledges this. Without that feedback, the employee may think that they are doing it wrong. They may think that they are taking too long to resolve issues, giving the complainer too much benefit of the doubt, or spending too much to make the customer happy. Without feedback, both positive and negative, the employee may change the excellent job they are doing, trying to 'improve' because they think that a lack of acknowledgement is implicit criticism.
Go ahead and manage in any way you like. The benefits of regular feedback, including positive feedback, are widely acknowledged.
I don't mean to imply that managers should praise people for doing standard stuff, although if you are inclined to do so it doesn't hurt.
But employees who work in a void won't be terribly productive either. If your job is to do A, B and C, and all you hear about is complaints about C, you might need to improve, or you might not. If your manager doesn't put those complaints into context, you don't know if this is a big deal or not. Similarly, you may be amazing at A, putting in a huge amount of time, but if A isn't that important to your boss, you may be putting in too much effort.
Part of an employee's job is to make their boss look good (supervisors have a reciprocal responsibility, but that is for another thread). If the supervisor doesn't give feedback to their direct reports as to what they are thinking, the employee cannot anticipate future needs and address them. An example of this might be an employee who always responds well to angry customers. The boss likes how this employee does it, but since it is part of the job, never acknowledges this. Without that feedback, the employee may think that they are doing it wrong. They may think that they are taking too long to resolve issues, giving the complainer too much benefit of the doubt, or spending too much to make the customer happy. Without feedback, both positive and negative, the employee may change the excellent job they are doing, trying to 'improve' because they think that a lack of acknowledgement is implicit criticism.
Go ahead and manage in any way you like. The benefits of regular feedback, including positive feedback, are widely acknowledged.
Good summary! I agree and would rep you if I could.
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