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Nah. Not wrong. I got invited to the company bbq. I don't want to socialize with those people. I just got my ribs and brisket and I went and sat outside by myself. Nobody noticed because they were too busy stuffing their holes. In fact, after I gobbled up my rib and brisket I went back to work, and they thought I didn't go, so I got seconds with out the shame
Only a few weeks and already you have this attitude?
I am not saying everyone has to be peachy and buddy buddy with everyone at work, but it sends a very very wrong message when the 'new guy/gal' decides not to participate in such events.
If you have been there a while, sure, you don't have to cater to every co-worker's whims and parties and get togethers, but a new employee has absolutely no business appearing to be an unfriendly individual from the start. You know that saying about first impressions right?
First Impressions----tend to stick. If she attends one, she's expected to attend them all. What if she doesn't attend other such functions? Then its taken as an insult...hey, she went to so-and-so party, but not this guy's, etc. You don't know at this point what the cliques are, and you might be aligning yourself with the wrong one. Office politics are very dicey, tread carefully. I wouldn't start by setting a precedent, if you attend one, you obligate yourself to attend them all. You might start socializing if invited to a function for someone in you direct group, but I doubt anyone would notice your absence from another department's function. However, your presence would be noticed, and held against you for later. Just steer clear for now.....
I started a new job recently as a secretary for a credit union. I have only bee there 2 weeks. The job is ok - but very stressful. When I clock out I just want to go home to my husband and dog. I have no desire to be around coworkers after that. One of the managers is leaving and they are throwing him a goodbye party. It's next week and that evening I already have plans I'm not willing to change since I have already paid. I told a coworker I wasn't going when she asked and she gave me a puzzled look. This party is for a manager I don't report to. I also don't feel very comfortable with some of my female colleagues as they have not been friendly since I started.
Is it wrong I don't want to go?
If they already are not "Being Friendly" then you may have done something before this which when combined with this party rejection, may cause the situation to become worse.
If they already are not "Being Friendly" then you may have done something before this which when combined with this party rejection, may cause the situation to become worse.
No I haven't done anything. They seem to be catty.
Well, here's another suggestion....maybe go up to the manager who's leaving sometime when its convenient maybe when others are there to notice. Simply say that you would have enjoyed attending his party but can't due to your concert and wish him good luck. You can present a pleasant face to the group without too much trouble, and not have to change your plans (which are legitimate). Little things like this go a long way with co-workers. I think its a bit more important to make a good impression on a new group of co workers. No one is suggesting that you make a huge deal out of someone you won't be working with, just to be polite and gracious. Someday when you really NEED some good "credit" you'll have it.
If you really want to stay negative, antisocial, and isolate yourself go right ahead. You are the one who gets to spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week every month all year with these people. It can be a bearable work situation or an unbearable stressful one. Choice is yours. Heaven forbid you might just find yourself an ally in one of them.
First Impressions----tend to stick. If she attends one, she's expected to attend them all. What if she doesn't attend other such functions? Then its taken as an insult...hey, she went to so-and-so party, but not this guy's, etc. You don't know at this point what the cliques are, and you might be aligning yourself with the wrong one. Office politics are very dicey, tread carefully. I wouldn't start by setting a precedent, if you attend one, you obligate yourself to attend them all. You might start socializing if invited to a function for someone in you direct group, but I doubt anyone would notice your absence from another department's function. However, your presence would be noticed, and held against you for later. Just steer clear for now.....
Maybe I'm looking back, but after 35+ years of working with large and small groups of colleagues I've found that you can usually find a bearable number of functions to attend or not. People like to be acknowledged, and they remember. You will get a feeling for how often it would be a good idea to at least put in a token appearance. Its a reality of the working world...just get on with it and quit whining about it. No one expects you to be besties with everyone in an office. Consider it like punching a time clock or paying social dues. It isn't going to kill you to be human. It can sap a lot of energy trying so hard to be unlikable all the time. I know, I know, these forums are full of posts about how much some OP hates the people they work with, how they avoid them, and usually it comes out that the same OP ends up feeling that everyone is out to get them fired or treat them unfairly. I would say you get what you give. You are not going to change this or get very far without the good will of others in your profession. Might as well get off that high horse and learn some skills.
No I haven't done anything. They seem to be catty.
Lotta bad advice here ...
Now, I'm not knocking you, but you're the secretary at a credit union, not a salesperson, ad rep or somebody who's trying to climb the corporate ladder (or are you?) ... Go home when your shift is complete, if people don't like it, that's their problem.
Go home after work! You are under no obligation to socialize. You are there to do the job for which you were hired and paid.
I do not understand this neediness to make friends at work. Cordial, helpful, encouraging? Yes!! But high school is over, folks. Some people will always need to "collect" friends.
Lotta bad advice here ...
Now, I'm not knocking you, but you're the secretary at a credit union, not a salesperson, ad rep or somebody who's trying to climb the corporate ladder (or are you?) ... Go home when your shift is complete, if people don't like it, that's their problem.
This is also my thought, after reading the OP's other replies. If she's not looking to advance, she doesn't need to pay attention to office politics. If she has designs on a better job at that employer, she needs to play the game.
Seems to me all she has to say is she already had plans for that day that she can't change. She's been there two weeks; I doubt anybody will get their knickers in a knot if she doesn't go. Frankly unless you really like the people you work with who wants to spend even more time with them after seeing them for 40 hours.
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