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I wish I could but I'm afraid that I'll come off as stuck up bc I'm already the most educated, financially successful, upscale, mature person there by a long shot. I have to downplay myself a lot.
I'm thinking to either start pretending like I'm religious and throw in some god talk when they try to discuss others. Some of the advice I've read is to say something positive about the person they are talking about but so far, I don't know how to do it in an easy manner. For example, X is so lazy and stupid. Really? I think X has really pretty hair. Lol
Hopefully, it will die down once they see I'm not into it. I'm too old for this nonsense.
Eta I can't rep you again, yet but thanks!
Dare to be different. I don't think this would make you look stuck up. Be the example that they all need to see. Use humor. Kill em with kindness. Tell them you'd rather be counting your coins, than to be talking to them about nonsense. Or, something smart-arsey like that. In this case, I'd much rather be known as the stuck up vs gossip girl. Oh man I'd have fun in that environment. They'd hate me and I'd enjoy every minute of it. And you are better than them. Own it.
All good advice. One thing to add, keep your private life away from the office. Don’t tell anyone there anything remotely personal. These people are not your friends, they are your coworkers. Anything you say about yourself can become grist for the gossip mill so be careful what you put out there. Even the most innocent of facts can be turned around and made into gossip. Keep your head above water and good luck swimming with the sharks.
I would think since you're in HR your co-workers shouldn't be gossiping about others, correct? If it was me I would do exactly what "dumb" said above. That was good advice. I actually really like your "God talk" as well! Gets people every time!
In your position I would be careful what you say regardless! Rise above the others. Just because you work with someone and communicate on a daily basis doesn't mean you have to talk about your personal life or any type of gossip in general. Give general answers such as....
Them: Hey, can you believe what that girl was wearing?
One of the things I did was when lunchtime came, I took my packed lunch and throw quilt and headed outside for a picnic lunch and read a good book. It all fit in a nice sized tote bag. Because I always did it, and in bad weather or winter I found a little quiet cafe and had some soup, people got used to me not being in the midst of all the gossip.
When questioned, I just said working was stressful and I needed that hour to decompress and relax fully, or I’d snap and it would be ugly.
They’ll think your weird for a while, then they will lose interest in you, since you don’t play. I was at my last job for eight years and by the time I left they all adored me.
Once in awhile I would like to be caught up in it but often simply don't have the time.
Recently someone was terminated on the spot... seems I was the only one at work that didn't know it and asking if anyone knew if she was out on vacation didn't help!
Maybe instead of gossiping about someone else, you can get the gossipers to talk about themselves? Ask them what they did over the weekend, how their grandchildren are, what they thought about the latest whatever fashion is going around. If they're busy talking about themselves, they won't have time to gossip about anybody else.
Gov't here, too. I just keep silent and that says a lot. "I'm really trying to give up gossiping. My new rule for myself is: If I'm not saying it to lift someone up, then it's gossip."
This little gem makes me wonder about you, OP. So..you're better than all of them in (hold on, let me count) 4 ways. So you have to downplay yourself? Pretentious and fake? That's what that sounds like, stuck up's not far behind!
Quote:
Originally Posted by hellob
I wish I could but I'm afraid that I'll come off as stuck up bc I'm already the most educated, financially successful, upscale, mature person there by a long shot. I have to downplay myself a lot.
I work in human services and am forced to interact with coworkers. I can already see that the EQ isn't high and there is a lot of drama and gossip and complaining. I've been reading advice online but most of it relates to office workers. I can't just detach and hide at my desk. I'm ok with letting them know that I'm not going to engage in the drama but I don't want to come off as I think I'm better than them.
Please don't tell me to look for another job bc it's a good paying gvt job and I'm sticking with it. I'm planning to transfer to another location in a year but in the meantime...
Walk away when the gossip starts. If you can't walk away, keep your mouth shut and don't respond in any way, shape or form. There's no need to tell them you won't engage...just don't engage.
You're right...you're can't completely remove yourself from gossip and drama in the office, but you can keep yourself out of it.
Walk away when the gossip starts. If you can't walk away, keep your mouth shut and don't respond in any way, shape or form. There's no need to tell them you won't engage...just don't engage.
You're right...you're can't completely remove yourself from gossip and drama in the office, but you can keep yourself out of it.
Exactly. The second you join in and add one word or ask one question, the hours the flow will come out from the gossipers' mouths. It's like diarrhea from the holes on their faces.
The gossipers just waste the company's time on nonsense and useless talks, and they just hate the ones who work hard and not to join them. I don't care about them at all.
I wish I could but I'm afraid that I'll come off as stuck up bc I'm already the most educated, financially successful, upscale, mature person there by a long shot. I have to downplay myself a lot.
s!
You know, sometimes you can't do the right thing and remain liked by everyone.
And that's ok.
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