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There’s a philosophical point to be made here. American culture extols total dedication to work. Those who are content with half-measures, are losers. And losers shouldn't eat, breath or occupy space. Sure, there’s also work-life balance… mostly aimed at family matters. And then there’s the raw appetite for money. So… the person who’s not enthused about having a family, not particularly oriented towards money, and not entirely agog over maximal assiduousness in productive labor – especially if that person is reasonably intelligent, has no particular handicap or malady, and has already made reasonable progress in higher-education – deserves by popular affirmation to be ground down to fertilizer.
So what’s the philosophical point? Apathy isn’t necessarily such a gross evil. Nor is it imperative to fulfill one’s potential, complete the 5-year-plan in 4 years, come in ahead of schedule and under budget. Enthusiasm for life itself, let alone the mere vocation of work, is not foregone or obvious.
And what’s the practical point? When we’re young, we’re essentially forced to suck it up… get a job, punch the clock. But then… save money. Cut corners. Invest aggressively. Minimize entanglements, possessions, aspirations… and punch out as early as possible.
Its bad as a pharmacy tech because I am missing things because I take prescriptions like I'm on an assembly line, and I miss uncommon errors. I'd do better with less work and more time, so I CAN work with detail under the right circumstances, but its less of a selling point for me than empathy. I have a lot of empathy even if I don't always have sympathy (I get why you raped your daughter, now, but I still don't excuse it.)
If you really believe the cause of your depression is career related and that's the thing you want to focus on and change, you should find yourself a career counselor. They can help you figure out what your strengths are and which careers could be a good match for you. They can also help you make a plan for furthering your education and help in finding possible internships.
If your interest is in helping people, you could look for an entry level job at a non profit that does good work. You would likely have to start at the bottom and do admin work but it would get you out of the pharmacy and give you the opportunity to try something new and see where it leads you. It sounds like you are young and don't have kids. If finding meaningful work is something you value, now is the time to try things.
A lot of people are cool with working just for a paycheck and they find their meaning outside of work, other's need to have a job that truly fufills them. I'm one who chose a career based on my passion for it. I do understand needing more than just a job, but you should be as close to certain as possible before jumping into grad school. Simply chosing the "least bad" option is not likely to help you get out of this funk.
Masters of Social Work -- 2 more years of school and I could get in the federal government as a GS9, be GS11 a year later, be GS12 two years after that if I get a lcsw, then try to get into a supervisor position after that.
Law--3 more years of school, massive debt, and uncertain ROI. High risk, but high payoff if I score.
Medicine--I'm already working in a peon job in a pharmacy, and I get called out on careless mistakes a dozen times a day. I'm also fairly innefficient. If I went this route, I'd go psychiatrist or neurologist. That said, I'd need 2 more years of undergraduate science to bolster my science background and then 4 years med school. Carribean Med school sounds promising, but still is a lot more debt than I'm comfortable with. High debt, potentially a high reward.
If attention to detail is a problem, I don't think being a lawyer would be a good fit unless you can train yourself to be attentive to the details. It's a skill that's critical. A single missed "not" in a contract could change the entire meaning. I also don't think medicine would be a good fit, miss something small but important and someone could die.
If attention to detail is a problem, I don't think being a lawyer would be a good fit unless you can train yourself to be attentive to the details. It's a skill that's critical. A single missed "not" in a contract could change the entire meaning. I also don't think medicine would be a good fit, miss something small but important and someone could die.
Hence the whole change from pharmacy. It seems like I get chewed out at every pharmacy I work at and I hate it. That said, for now its the only thing that pays well enough to cover my bills and I'd like a raise to start saving money instead of just spending it all. 13/hour is good for my age, but I'd really like at least double that, and preferably triple...but my only condition right now is the pay goes up and that close attention to detail is less important...Hell, if I could get another job that does 13/hour and I liked it better, I'd switch in a heartbeat. I'm just not willing to go down, since I feel like I live paycheck to paycheck as it is.
In the OP you said you want to help people and be useful. That sounds like motivation to me, although I don't believe in 'useless' people. Sometimes the difference between being at one place rather than another is simply not knowing something. Plenty of people say that their lives might have been different had they simply realized something then that they only realized when they were older. Also, in my very limited experience, missing details frequently tends to come from a lack of interest or effort typically coming from either not wanting to do something or the motivation to do it as quickly as possible to get it over with. Either way can lead to the same unfavorable results. It happens on the road all the time. A person who has been driving since forever takes something for granted and then a dangerous situation on the road is able to occur. The person obviously knows how to drive but by taking something important for granted their performance suddenly dropped. It's why cell phones shouldn't be used without hands-off equipment while driving but OK that's off topic...
As far as depression goes I had it and then I let Jesus back into my life. I haven't had it since. This is not to say that hard times don't come. That's simply not true and no one should tell you otherwise. But my view on life beforehand was extremely pessimistic and I questioned the point of it all. Now I don't feel that way anymore.
At any rate if you just really don't like the attention to detail there may be other possibilities in the medical field that you might prefer. Or you could try to find other ways of helping folks. Granted, as you are 50 I can't really say what the best course of action is for you as I'm not qualified for such things. But there may be other options out there you could pursue with the qualifications you have now.
Hence the whole change from pharmacy. It seems like I get chewed out at every pharmacy I work at and I hate it. That said, for now its the only thing that pays well enough to cover my bills and I'd like a raise to start saving money instead of just spending it all. 13/hour is good for my age, but I'd really like at least double that, and preferably triple...but my only condition right now is the pay goes up and that close attention to detail is less important...Hell, if I could get another job that does 13/hour and I liked it better, I'd switch in a heartbeat. I'm just not willing to go down, since I feel like I live paycheck to paycheck as it is.
Have you tried a career interest survey? There's probably something free online or you could go to the job search dept of your last university... or something. Perhaps making yourself an action list and starting to tick items off would make you feel better and as you gain momentum you'll feel even better. Make a plan and a goal and even if it looks sucky and uninteresting, you'll feel better just moving forward. But why not make it really great and think about where you would be happiest to live too and make goals for that too? Even if you never reach it, you'll be fine and if you take detours, well that's what life is all about. Also, think about what you used to like to do before you got depressed and move in that direction...perhaps you just got discouraged but you won't always be depressed.
Also, pay attention to signals--sometimes our next move is presented to us in an unexpected way and we just need to attend to what is going on. People have gotten into careers just by having random conversations with strangers or thru chance occurrences.
Masters of Social Work -- 2 more years of school and I could get in the federal government as a GS9, be GS11 a year later, be GS12 two years after that if I get a lcsw, then try to get into a supervisor position after that.
Law--3 more years of school, massive debt, and uncertain ROI. High risk, but high payoff if I score.
Medicine--I'm already working in a peon job in a pharmacy, and I get called out on careless mistakes a dozen times a day. I'm also fairly innefficient. If I went this route, I'd go psychiatrist or neurologist. That said, I'd need 2 more years of undergraduate science to bolster my science background and then 4 years med school. Carribean Med school sounds promising, but still is a lot more debt than I'm comfortable with. High debt, potentially a high reward.
Scratch law. There are too many lawyers, and the median income is in the low 60s for those that CAN get a job. Imagine going into law school debt and washing out with a 60K job, or being one of the legions of unemployed lawyers. Unless you can get into a Top Ten law school (not likely, given that you are a mediocre performer), getting a job is not a high probability outcome.
Scratch medicine. The schooling is a marathon, and the pay after five years is low 60s (residency). Imagine going into med school debt for a couple of years and washing out. Given that you are a mediocre performer, that is the likely outcome.
Here is a dirty truth: how you perform now is a really reliable indicator of how you will perform later, regardless of what you do. Changing that paradigm requires a (*cough*) fundamental transformation, into which you have to pour energy and effort. It does not sound as if you have that level of commitment.
Changing the paradigm is virtually a life and death decision: that is how much energy and commitment you have to pour into changing it, and it is a years'-long marathon. You basically have to change your wiring on every level - this is not like cramming for an exam.
Consider social work. You'd make what new law grads make if they can get a job, and med school is not in the cards. Social work has the advantage that you don't hate it. There are worse things in life than to earn a living wage in a respectable profession, while not disliking what you do.
There’s a philosophical point to be made here. American culture extols total dedication to work. Those who are content with half-measures, are losers. And losers shouldn't eat, breath or occupy space. Sure, there’s also work-life balance… mostly aimed at family matters. And then there’s the raw appetite for money. So… the person who’s not enthused about having a family, not particularly oriented towards money, and not entirely agog over maximal assiduousness in productive labor – especially if that person is reasonably intelligent, has no particular handicap or malady, and has already made reasonable progress in higher-education – deserves by popular affirmation to be ground down to fertilizer.
So what’s the philosophical point? Apathy isn’t necessarily such a gross evil. Nor is it imperative to fulfill one’s potential, complete the 5-year-plan in 4 years, come in ahead of schedule and under budget. Enthusiasm for life itself, let alone the mere vocation of work, is not foregone or obvious.
And what’s the practical point? When we’re young, we’re essentially forced to suck it up… get a job, punch the clock. But then… save money. Cut corners. Invest aggressively. Minimize entanglements, possessions, aspirations… and punch out as early as possible.
Good post. I agree, and I think historically our culture does do that, because that is the Puritan ethos. But I'm grateful for that heritage. It made what we have today possible. Is the American attitude to work really so harmful to Americans? I don't think so.
Evidence in favor of this:
- we have a labor force participation rate lower than Greece (and ask anyone what the Greeks think of work)
-47% of our people don't even earn enough to pay any income taxes
-our retirement age is basically within a couple of years of Western socialist democracies
-The average American lives to about the same age as Western Europeans - and the differences (about 2 years for both sexes), is due nearly entirely to dietary and lifestyle factors (as opposed to work-related illnesses).
Now however, I'd point out that the American attitude to work that results in us working MORE and for longer than our European friends, is mostly beneficial because of its effect on GDP. We rank 20th in global GDP per capita - but of those 20 spots about 15 are either relatively tiny tax-havens or oil oligarchies. Their prosperity is based on financial artifice and unsustainable cartel economics, not on productivity, AND we have about 3 times the population of all of those nations ranked higher than us COMBINED...meaning that despite our 20th place ranking, we have a good claim as the true global leaders in national efficiency, even despite our relatively lackluster labor force participation rate and being a fairly bloated welfare state ourselves.
Greece, meanwhile, ranks 71st.
We are the only nation in the top 30 most populous nations that is ALSO ranked in the top 30 most productive as measured in per capita GDP.
Changing the paradigm is virtually a life and death decision: that is how much energy and commitment you have to pour into changing it, and it is a years'-long marathon. You basically have to change your wiring on every level - this is not like cramming for an exam.
What you've pointed out is true, but its also the "risk-reward ratio". People are more apt to devote more resources (risk) if the potential payout (reward) is higher.
I have spent the last 20 years in business and what I have learned is that people only operate in a few modes. There are the "coin-operated" folks - who are just out to make as much money as possible.
Nothing wrong with that- they are pretty good employees.
Then there are the passionate folks (great employees - they can be hard to manage but when correctly utilized are brilliant and can do the work of five "regular" staff and have 10 times the impact)
Then there are the apathetic, "do just enough to not get fired" folks, who are an unfortunate fact of existence, and who basically go through the motions, take up space, don't really give a crap, etc. This is the largest group by far.
Scratch law. There are too many lawyers, and the median income is in the low 60s for those that CAN get a job. Imagine going into law school debt and washing out with a 60K job, or being one of the legions of unemployed lawyers. Unless you can get into a Top Ten law school (not likely, given that you are a mediocre performer), getting a job is not a high probability outcome.
Scratch medicine. The schooling is a marathon, and the pay after five years is low 60s (residency). Imagine going into med school debt for a couple of years and washing out. Given that you are a mediocre performer, that is the likely outcome.
Here is a dirty truth: how you perform now is a really reliable indicator of how you will perform later, regardless of what you do. Changing that paradigm requires a (*cough*) fundamental transformation, into which you have to pour energy and effort. It does not sound as if you have that level of commitment.
Changing the paradigm is virtually a life and death decision: that is how much energy and commitment you have to pour into changing it, and it is a years'-long marathon. You basically have to change your wiring on every level - this is not like cramming for an exam.
Consider social work. You'd make what new law grads make if they can get a job, and med school is not in the cards. Social work has the advantage that you don't hate it. There are worse things in life than to earn a living wage in a respectable profession, while not disliking what you do.
Best of luck.
That was my thinking. I also looked at it, and Federal Government pays really well.
I could start as a GS 9, move up to GS 11 after a year, then get a LCSW and be a GS 12 a year after that. Then I'll be making all the money I could concievably need to buy a fun life, though I could be wrong.
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