Difficult Coworker (employees, job, hired, office)

[bolehboleh]

I have a co-worker who is really getting on my nerves.

Most of my coworkers are friendly and we all get along fantastic. We work hard but we can also be playful with each other.

But when he's in the office, the mood darkens. He's demanding, mean and often condescending to me and my coworkers and I don't think anyone likes him. If you're not his friend, your are his enemy and he will bad mouth you to other employees.

My problem is that he was my friend before I started working there and he helped me to get the job. I always knew he was a bit of a whiner, but from the moment I started at our office he would bad mouth our coworkers. He even has childish nicknames he calls some of the staff.

I tried really hard to not let his complaints affect the way I saw my colleagues and I even told him several times I didnt want to hear his gossip. Because of his constant badmouthing I think many of them thought I might be on his side and they were reluctant to interact with me.

One co-worker told me they thought when I was hired they would better understand him. Another co-worker asked me why he acts the way he does. I didn't have an answer.

A few weeks ago I was working on something and I was quite stressed and he pushed my buttons the wrong way. He was, once again, condescending and insulting towards me. I briefly lost my professionalism and told him he was "being ****ing annoying." I know I should have watched my mouth and controlled my temper but I was tired of being talked down to.

We ended up talking it out in the hallway and I apologized for losing my temper. I also told him he needs to watch how he talks to me, but he refused to accept it.

Even today, I came in to work and tried to joke with him - my team had beaten his. His only response was "I'm in a bad mood."

If he was just another co-worker, I would just find other ways to ignore him. But he helped me to get this job and I'm eternally grateful. I love my job, but I don't know how I'm going to survive with him and his moods.

[Cyclist1968]

He got you a job where a co-worker is awful to deal with and you are eternally greatful?
Even if he happens to be that co-worker?

sounds as if you won't be greatful for long. Try helping him as best you can but if you fail, it is fine

He is that way to everyone so don't take it personal. JMHO

[Cyclist1968]

forgot to say, congratulations on the job!

[bolehboleh]

The co-worker he hates the most was someone he had brought on a few years ago. He was so angry because when the chance arose, she changed to a different workspace (away from him)and got herself a promotion so that she was at the same level as him professionally.

[Cyclist1968]

sounds like you have alot to look foward to! you may want to do your best to be transferred to a different department

[bolehboleh]

I love my job and I'm not qualified to work in any other department. We all travel for work a lot, and he travels the most. It's nice when he's not around.