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I work with a guy (let's call him Ralph) who had a best bud at work who he talked to constantly (let's call him Josh), and they would eat lunch together all the time. They had a very friendly relationship.
Well, Josh got crosswise with the boss and quit. Josh called Ralph, who agreed to be his reference. Josh gets a number of interviews over the next couple of months, which he tells Ralph about. Well, after a couple of weeks from the interviews, Ralph doesn't hear anything from Josh, so he calls him and leaves a voicemail. Josh doesn't respond. He then leaves another voicemail asking Josh if he wants to eat dinner with him sometime. No response.
Ralph then does a Google search and finds on a social media website that Josh moved to a different city. Ralph tried contacting him through there, and again he didn't receive a response.
That's happened to me as well, although I make it a point now to never get close to coworkers. I tried to contact an old coworker once who I was on good terms with, and I didn't get a response. He just didn't care.
I work with a guy (let's call him Ralph) who had a best bud at work who he talked to constantly (let's call him Josh), and they would eat lunch together all the time. They had a very friendly relationship.
Well, Josh got crosswise with the boss and quit. Josh called Ralph, who agreed to be his reference. Josh gets a number of interviews over the next couple of months, which he tells Ralph about. Well, after a couple of weeks from the interviews, Ralph doesn't hear anything from Josh, so he calls him and leaves a voicemail. Josh doesn't respond. He then leaves another voicemail asking Josh if he wants to eat dinner with him sometime. No response.
Ralph then does a Google search and finds on a social media website that Josh moved to a different city. Ralph tried contacting him through there, and again he didn't receive a response.
That's happened to me as well, although I make it a point now to never get close to coworkers. I tried to contact an old coworker once who I was on good terms with, and I didn't get a response. He just didn't care.
in this ever-increasing "all about me" society, you're going to have a tough time finding any real friends period whether its at work out outside of work. Most people today only care about themselves. To hell with fellow human beings. Its a sad state of our society unfortunately. .
OP, I know lots of people don't agree with you and lots of people do. I agree with you - don't trust and don't care to be friends with anyone at work.
Don't feel bad when somebody is against you. People have their own opinions and speaks up from their own experience.
I used to like to help others a lot and I was very soft. But one day I woke up and changed. I learned about this co-worker who was friendly with me, and I was helping her a lot at work, was the one who took advantage of me and was an a**kisser to the management and tried to push the things (very heavy work, even though we work in the office, but we have some physical work to do) that I was helping her to be on my job duty. And one of the leaders agreed with her, and assigned me to do the job by myself. It was like a slave work. Luckily, I dared to speak up to the upper management (higher than this leader) and they saw through and made both of us to do the job. Since then she and I are never friends anymore. We just work together and only talk about work related things. That's good with me.
I learned that sometimes you run out of your way to help someone and that someone takes advantage of you. And when you stop helping because you can feel tired too, then that person hates you. I don't care for such user. And at work, I watch out for whoever is very "sweet" and talks a lot, and tries to be friends with everyone on FB and creates a clique at work.
Now at work, I just care about being professional and nice reasonably. I can smile, say Good morning, how are you and share work information in reasonable manner and do my job well. I know everybody is watching everybody. I know there are always people who like you at work and there are a few who are jealous with you and dislike you. That's the workplace. And that's life.
When I come to work, I just care to work well for my employer who treats me right. I don't care to make friends at work anymore. I don't want friends today who can become foes tomorrow. It can happen easily because at work many people are very competitive, sly and jealous. I just care about professional co-workers who are fair and honest. That's all. I have friends out of work.
Other than that girl and that leader who favored her and treated me wrongly, I'm thankful that there are fair leaders at where I work understand and support me.
Through hard time, I learned to be smarter and stronger.
I will always try to help people at the end of the day. (Even if there is no immediate payoff. No promotion etc. Its in my nature as my mom did the same) Karma WILL come back to you positively.. Maybe not in this life but the next. Theres no reason to be self-absorbed and greedy. Especially if you're rich just wanting more money and an extra yacht or house.
You may not believe in a god or whatever. But Karma does exist. You do bad, bad things will happen to you ultimately. You do good, good things will happen in return
Don't mistreat people, Don't screw people over. What goes around comes around ultimately. You will NOT escape it. In my younger years I found out quickly, any negative action WILL result in a negative reaction
I will always try to help people at the end of the day. (Even if there is no immediate payoff. No promotion etc. Its in my nature as my mom did the same) Karma WILL come back to you positively.. Maybe not in this life but the next. Theres no reason to be self-absorbed and greedy. Especially if you're rich just wanting more money and an extra yacht or house.
You may not believe in a god or whatever. But Karma does exist. You do bad, bad things will happen to you ultimately. You do good, good things will happen in return
Don't mistreat people, Don't screw people over. What goes around comes around ultimately. You will NOT escape it. In my younger years I found out quickly, any negative action WILL result in a negative reaction
Yes, I still want to help my co-workers, but not to the point for someone eventually thinks that's my job. If you help someone too much, and that person wants to have light job and kisses the management's ass, and wants to push the heavy job on you, you will feel burnt out and stupid.
People must know boundaries. At work, you may like to go above and beyond, cooperate and/or collaborate, but you don't like to do all the work with a co-worker who just wants to do the easy work and talks and talks more than work.
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