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What’s likeable? I’m nice and professional. At my workplace likeable is going out for happy hour and discussing personal details of my life. Don’t want to.
When in Rome....act like the Romans do.
Likeable is dependent on each situation. If everyone was a non-social robot, you might be preferred and likeable. If you work with people who can preform their jobs well and still be personable and lighthearted.....you might be non-likeable.
There’s a fine line between being quieter and not seeking out conversation and be a closed off A hole. It’s kind of an empathy thing. Even if his grand kids mean nothing to you, is it so hard to understand it means something to them? Maybe they’re just proud and making small talk. Is it really hard to listen and ask a few questions? Maybe share a few minor details about your life?
Gets tiresome doesn't it? What is so objectionable about developing interpersonal skills in the workplace? If someone is so bent out of shape that they have to ask an anonymous forum about it there is obviously more to their story.
I’m an introvert. Not fair to discriminate just because I’m not extroverted.
Being introverted isn't an excuse. Sounds as if you don't understand the definition. Go look it up. Major introvert here. Does NOT mean I get discriminated against (oh please not that word!) or that I can't manage to be sociable at work. I have never been told I am too quiet, too solitary, too social, or too chatty at a job. What I do manage is not to get so worked up or defensive over all of it. If a manager was to mention that I seem too solitary, anti-social, etc. I would take it as it was meant (an observation, a hint, a suggestion), do a bit of self-analysis and try to find out why they felt it needed to be said. Probably a reason for it OP.
Likeable is dependent on each situation. If everyone was a non-social robot, you might be preferred and likeable. If you work with people who can preform their jobs well and still be personable and lighthearted.....you might be non-likeable.
There’s a fine line between being quieter and not seeking out conversation and be a closed off A hole. It’s kind of an empathy thing. Even if his grand kids mean nothing to you, is it so hard to understand it means something to them? Maybe they’re just proud and making small talk. Is it really hard to listen and ask a few questions? Maybe share a few minor details about your life?
They can mean everything to him, that’s fine. It would be nice if people could just let people be who they are - not what they want them to be. Sharing details about my life at work has come back to burn me in the past so I don’t do that anymore. I’m always willing to help and be a team player and go above and beyond. But being social shouldnt be a requirement at work
Major introvert here. Does NOT mean I get discriminated against (oh please not that word!) or that I can't manage to be sociable at work. I have never been told I am too quiet, too solitary, too social, or too chatty at a job. What I do manage is not to get so worked up or defensive over all of it. If a manager was to mention that I seem too solitary, anti-social, etc. I would take it as it was meant (an observation, a hint), do a bit of self-analysis and try to find out why they felt it needed to be said. Probably a reason for it OP.
I have not been told that by management. Just some colleagues that were upset that I don’t give them attention
Gets tiresome doesn't it? What is so objectionable about developing interpersonal skills in the workplace? If someone is so bent out of shape that they have to ask an anonymous forum about it there is obviously more to their story.
Nope exactly what I said. I just want to go to work - get what I need to get done and go home. I’m not interested in knowing my colleagues on a personal level
I’m an introvert. Not fair to discriminate just because I’m not extroverted.
If you're being told all the time that you're too quiet or not friendly enough, you are probably in the wrong job. Since it sounds like that's expected in your job.
How exactly are you being "discriminated" against?
They can mean everything to him, that’s fine. It would be nice if people could just let people be who they are - not what they want them to be. Sharing details about my life at work has come back to burn me in the past so I don’t do that anymore. I’m always willing to help and be a team player and go above and beyond. But being social shouldnt be a requirement at work
You expect that from others, but aren't willing to be that way yourself, it sounds like. Your coworker is proud of his grandkids - that "who they are". Yet you want them to be someone who is not.
It should be pretty simple to understand that you can do both. With how competitive the good/great jobs are, employers can command highly skilled and likeable employees.
You’re smart and hard working? Great. So is everyone else here. Being likeable and having a good personality with people you’re going to spend a large chunk of time with is important. I’ve always had good relationships with my coworkers, bosses, etc professionally and personally.
It’s silly to think you’re some robot or an interchangeable part of the machine that can only do one or the other. Culture matters.
You can say all you want it doesn’t matter, but it does and will absolutely hurt you in the long run.
I've actually read a few things about how getting along with your coworkers and being friendly with them really affects a person's job satisfaction--they're happier, they're more productive, and more loyal, even. It makes for better employees who do a better job.
You expect that from others, but aren't willing to be that way yourself, it sounds like. Your coworker is proud of his grandkids - that "who they are". Yet you want them to be someone who is not.
Oh no that’s fine but what I’m saying is I don’t go out of my way to make conversation with him because I’m not interested. It will go on for an hour and I won’t get any work done
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