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Right, people have a lot of misconceptions about what introversion really is--it's not being shy; it's not keeping to oneself--it's being drained by a lot of interaction. For that reason, introverts really hate open plan offices.
I consider myself introverted, but all that means is that lots of meetings or day-long conferences wipe me out. I'm friendly, open, able to get along with people, even if it means I'd rather eat lunch at my desk than in the break room.
Whereas an extrovert needs social interaction and suffers without it.
Although extroverts insist on misinterpreting it this way, I don't think anyone's said that introverts (or "quiet types" at work) CAN'T be sociable; we simply prefer not to be and/or don't feel the need to be.
There are quite a few people on C-D who claim being introverted as the reason they're actually jerks.
I have met many extroverts that are also jerks. Amazing huh?
Sure, that happens, too. They don't seem to start C-D topics to validate themselves, however.
And I've met extroverts who were socially awkward.
Guy at my office right now absolutely craves social interaction, but he's a total klutz at knowing the right thing to say. He often interjects himself into conversations without a clue of what's being discussed, tries to think of ways to create conversations based on things nobody wants to talk about, always shares TMI--which in his case is bland and boring.
People laugh at him behind his back...sometimes to his face. But he needs the social interaction.
I just moved to an office cubicles where my surrounding are quiet and I want to chit chat with my cubicle neighbors who are not on my team, but feel it be intruding or make them uncomfortable. Also I suspect some dynanic between some of them where they probably weren't talking even before I moved in. I myself am a quiet person but I like extrovert neighbors and don't mind talking to them. How do I make my situation better?
Learn these people's cues....when they are ready/able to chat with you and when they really need to focus. If in doubt, ask if its a convenient time to chat and be ready to hear their answers. Remember, their answers may not be personal, just what is necessary at that moment. That tells them that YOU have good intentions and care about getting along well with them. They'll appreciate it and treat you with similar consideration. That's how you make your own situation better.
Also, if social skills are that important in the workplace, why are so many employers having people work from home these days? These workers may never set foot in the office.
There are dozens of reasons why people work from home. The manager doesn't need to provide/rent/buy/equip/maintain space for a larger workforce for one thing. Maybe they would rather offer telework and keep employees who are more productive in the long run on their own timetable. Maybe they'd rather let a parent work from home instead of subsidize day care at the workplace. Human life requires social skills whether you use them with your plumber, your landlord, or a coworker. Why is this such a hard concept? No one needs to be a social gadfly. Its not a matter of how many minutes, seconds, or the intervals between your words; no scorecard. Its how you communicate and what you imply when you do open your mouth. One snotty dismissive remark can be as damaging as complete silence or a mouth that never rests. So called soft skills are more about being sensitive to what the other half of the conversation needs or expects from you. The more people complain and argue the more obvious it is that there's more going on behind the scenes.
Last edited by Parnassia; 04-06-2018 at 01:50 PM..
Sure, that happens, too. They don't seem to start C-D topics to validate themselves, however.
And I've met extroverts who were socially awkward.
Guy at my office right now absolutely craves social interaction, but he's a total klutz at knowing the right thing to say. He often interjects himself into conversations without a clue of what's being discussed, tries to think of ways to create conversations based on things nobody wants to talk about, always shares TMI--which in his case is bland and boring.
People laugh at him behind his back...sometimes to his face. But he needs the social interaction.
I have known extroverts like that, too. They crave being around people, but they have poor social skills.
I find introverts are more productive in the workplace.
The extrovert I speak of in post #65 is, however, very bright and conscientious in doing his job. He's highly productive, inquisitive about learning more of the work. He's a dedicated worker. Not many people are working harder than he does.
It is the bane of introverts' existence, that people automatically assume that we're "stuck up" just because we don't engage in the lubricant of social interaction, which is small talk. You can be the absolute best at what you do, and if others get to judge you, they'll judge you only on how well you do small talk, social banter.
And for the umteenth time, you are NOT describing an introvert! Many introverts are chatty. I am a major introvert but I can engage with others without too much tension because I understand how I work and how "they" work. I know when it's time to walk away and when it's time to stay put because I've LEARNED the skill and I care to maintain those necessary relationships. Introverts just don't get their energy from being social, they expend energy being social. An extrovert does the opposite. An introvert needs time away to get a battery charge. It doesn't mean they don't or can't socialize. They just don't do it non-stop. And yes, just like most traits its a spectrum. One introverted person isn't automatically identical to another. Seems like socially inept people are glad to find their excuse for not bothering to learn a skill...and the label is introvert.
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